Hi,
Id really appreciate some reassurance here as I’m not sure people irl will understand as much as you.
We got a kitten last summer, to be a companion to our much loved existing cat. Unfortunately he got very sick after we’d only had him for four weeks, and despite me taking him to the vets daily for an antibiotic injection and syringe feeding him (and water) for a week he sadly passed away. I was devastated and at the time vowed I couldn’t go through with it again.
A few months later though my existing cat seemed to be lacking a friend. The same reasons I wanted a friend for her were still there and she had started to wake me up earlier and earlier (4.30am the last couple of weeks) just to have some company.
So I chatted with dh and said I felt we should get her another friend. He’s not as bothered as me about having them but he understands how I feel and agreed. He even gave me some money towards him for my birthday present.
I brought him home last night and my husbands reaction was ‘he’s not as cute as (old kittens name)’. Afterwards he saw that it upset me and apologised and said he’d only said it because he was stressed about other things.
Today I’m at home on my own with the two and he’s settling in really well but I can’t stop thinking about what he said and I’m irrationally upset about it. I keep thinking about the old kitten too and feeling so sad that he died. The new kitten is a bit older than a baby (nearly 6 months) and the introductions have gone well - a little bit of hissing but now they’ve been touching noses and playing. The original kitten was more like 13-14 weeks and instantly looked to my existing cat like a mother and they used to curl up together to sleep even from day 1.
I wish my dh had never said anything because now I can’t stop comparing. I think it’s more grief coming out regarding the original kitten and I do love this new one but it’s thrown me a lot that I’m feeling like this. They do have different personalities obviously, this one is less fluffy and cuddly but he’s still absolutely wonderful and sweet, and I was expecting them to be different and never saw him as a replacement but I’m feeling so sad and angry that original kitten never got to grow up with us.
Please can anyone reassure me that’s it’s normal for me to feel like this and that it will pass. I’ve never said this on mumsnet before but please be kind I’m in a bit of a mess right now.