Kittens still hiding after 3 weeks

[StripyTrousers]

Hi Mumsnetters.
Due to an unexpected passing of one of young cats we have adopted 2 kittens, they were stray rescues and think they are about 5-6 months old. We got them from a rescue centre and they had never been handled. We wanted one ( to introduce to our very shy remaining cat) but got them both as they were a pair together.
We are experienced cat owners and have had anxious kittens in the past- the last pair we had were similar but one of them was more confident and we gained contact through string playing and treats.

Now- we have had them for 3 weeks and they are in their own room with lots of toys etc. when we got them they hid under the sofa, we have given them space. We have a motion camera in the room and they are now playing together, running and jumping , and at times sleeping on the sofa.

The issues we have are

• one of them has soft poo ( not sure which one) which we think is due to stress. We have given them the probiotics and changed their food. They are black cats so I know this can be common for these.
• they still hide when ever we are in the room- no creeping out to enquire so we can’t introduce any interaction.
• when we go in the room we sit quietly and do not try to approach them
• we can make eye contact with one of them as he tends to hide behind the curtain when we pull it back slowly.

We are committed to these kitties but are starting to get worried that they will stressed forever. If one of them has bowel problems we can’t handle them to take to the vets. Anyone else been through this? Any advise? Is it just going to be time? ps can’t include a photo as we cant get any shots.

Do you know their history? Were they appropriately socialised at all?

All I know is that the mother was a stray and was found with a big litter. I think they were with a foster but when I picked them up they were together in a rescue centre pen, they were the last of the litter.

Can you ask the rescue for more info on their background/socialisation?

If they are feral then you do need to force contact on them which is a very different approach to settling nervous but domestic kittens/cats.

We eventually managed to coax our very shy kittens out with tuna fish. They only got it if we were in the room, so had the positive association. Took hours of sitting the first couple of times though! I made sure they were a bit hungry too before I took it in. The smell must have driven them insane 😁

Scampuss - will ask

They're a bit old to be forcing contact I would have thought - the socialisation window shuts at around 4 months and these are 6 months, so they really need to be treated like adults in that respect, rather than young, adaptable kittens.

Thank you for the responses-
Assuming they are more feral- what does forced socialisation look like for teenagers/ adults look like? ( when one of them is under the sofa)

You shouldn't do forced socialisation with adults, you really do just have to give them time and space. You also may need to accept that they will never really adjust to domestic life, though most do at least relax and adjust to some extent.

There are plenty of resources on Google, but basically - don't force it, recognise the signs of stress and go at their own pace. It can take a long time though, and some will always be fearful and timid of people.

3 weeks isn't long for cats that are essentially feral. You need to be very, very, very patient. One of my five rescues is from a feral colony. I've had her three years now and in that time she has gone from living under the stairs and only coming out to use the litter tray to being in the living room, coming to sit on the table when I'm working and asking for pets. She purrs now, she's very affectionate but it's still all on her terms. It's going to takek a lot more than weeks.

Fair enough. I do think it's worth getting some advice from the rescue though.

It's taken a year to be able to stroke one of my semi ferals. 3 weeks is nothing.

My top tip, is to start feeding all wet food off of a spoon. Start with a small wooden spoon as they will try and chomp it at first, and get small mouthfuls onto the spoon and let them lick it off. Say their name each time they get a lick of the spoon. Then once they start coming to you for their wet food, gently touch them on the top of the head each time they come to the spoon. As they get older you can start giving them the odd treat but always make them come to you and give it in your hand to them. I use those cat sticks and break them into 6-8 pieces and say their name each time they come and take a piece.

And play with them. Long bits of string dragged across the floor for them to jump on and let them.get used to you being there and playing. You have to get much closer to them in terms of food and play.

Mine never get used to getting into cat carriers so I leave them out and put treats in them for the week before one has to go to a vet. But they all hate it. Even so, they have to be tricked into it every time.

Just to give some idea of times - we re-homed a cat when he was one. He'd always lived in a home and we'd seen plenty of photos of him being handled, stroked and cuddled. He wasn't remotely undersocialised and was well used to people, children etc.

When we brought him home, he ran straight into a tiny corner and stayed there. He wouldn't come out for love nor money while we were in the room, though he did play with our other cat while we were out, and would eat/use the litter tray at night or while we were working. It was about three months before we could walk past him without being hissed or swiped at - even now (eight years later) he will hiss and swipe at you if he's uncomfortable and he still dislikes men, lol.

If we'd forced him, there is no doubt he would have attacked us, and badly. You just need to be really, really patient. He's mostly really good now and the vets always praise his confidence and attitude.

Thank you.
We are cat lovers and committed for the long haul, we have a quite home and feel we can give the less wanted kittens/ cats a good home.
Since the original post I did make eye contact with the ‘under sofa’ one who was on the window sill when I left the house- progress.

Ask the rescue for their detailed background - as much info as they have including where they were fostered and how long they were in that pen, presumably with mother cat? Three weeks isn’t a particularly long time - they may turn into lap cats or they may stay aloof.

Unfortunately some rescues are acting irresponsibly and offloading cats to people without being fully honest about their backgrounds or where they’d be best suited to. Ie “yes of course they can live with other cats/kids” when little Felix has torn the hands off every person they’ve been near. Said cats are then ending up at another rescue as they’re stressed and reactive. Whilst I get that they’re full and they want to help as many animals as possible, they’re not always helping.

I’m also noticing more and more “they’re a bonded pair” but the cats not showing bonded behaviour.

Do you go & sit in there for long periods of time? Take your phone or a book & sit in there for an hour or so.

Keep doing that so they get used to you being around.

Yes, we are trying that and will continue. We have a camera and they wait 3 minutes every time after leaving before they emerge!

I got my cat as a 6 month old rescue, they said he'd been abandoned in a field. No other info. I got him home and installed him in the bathroom as a 'safe' room as you're advised to do. Litter tray and food and bed all in the same room, so he could settle down without being overwhelmed by a whole house.

At the time, the bathroom was only half-finished and there was a concealed cistern but without a top shelf to enclose it.

As soon as I let him out of the cat carrier, in a few seconds he was down behind the concealed cistern, completely hidden and inaccessible. I didn't see him for weeks. I knew he was ok because food was eaten and litter tray used. I also sometimes set up my phone to video him, to check he was okay, and he was.

When he eventually emerged and was okay to be around me in the same room, it then took many months for him to trust me. I think in reality it was close to two years to get to full trust. He is now a devoted creature. A long road, but worth it.

In short, 3 weeks is nothing. Just be patient.

It's not possible to push cats to speed things up...

Hi all,
Just an update.
Both cats have free run of the house now- the female one is out and about and makes eye contact. She tries to play with our adult cat who is not game presently. Adult cat has accepted them.
The male cat is much more timid and only tends to come out when hungry and we are out or in bed. His loose pop which became diahorrea, has eventually got better with 8 days of ‘Pro-Kolin’ probiotic paste ( it is only thing that has worked).
They run up and down the stairs during the night which can be a bit noisy!
We have yet to be able to touch them but feeling a lot more positive and know in time we will bond.
Getting used to being a 3 cat family and many food bowls !! (we’ve always had one or two). Not looking forward to cat flap training in the future but got some time to go!!
Thank you for the previous posts

I'm glad they are settling in ❤️

Any photos?