Getting my new cat next week- top settling in tips please!

[ChristmasRobinson]

Hi all,

I am super excited to be getting a cat next week (no other pets).
She is a retired breeding queen, about 6 I think. My sister adopted one from this breeder last year so I know a bit about their set up etc. My sister's cat is amazing, and a new one has recently come up so I've taken the plunge and am adopting her myself.

Anyway, my question is how do I balance making her feel settled in while making sure she learns what is okay or not? Do you do anything for bad behaviours (tone of voice etc) or just let it go completely?

Settling in is going to involve a few mishaps I'm sure, I'm not worried about that. I am just not sure if you give them total free reign at the start or need to choose some ground rules that you always uphold (like, going up the curtains is not okay etc)- just a bit worried she might learn bad behaviours are okay long term if I am too soft!

Any advice very welcome :)

I've had quite a few cats and by 6 years old not a single one had climbed curtains!

You might want to keep her in one area of the house for a few weeks whilst she settles in, keep the litter tray away from food and also keep water separate from food. By 6 you will find she probably has lots of learned behaviour so it will be tricky (but not impossible) if you want to change them. Make her feel welcome and loved is the most important thing.

Thank you for the advice that is really helpful, and yes I expect a lot can't be changed you are right :)

My sister's cat goes up the curtains if she gets a bit of a zoom on, she runs out of room on the floor, so up she goes! She gets a bit stuck up the top for a few seconds and seems surprised how she got there 😆

I can't wait to welcome my new cat, my priority is 100% giving her loads of love (and space when she needs it of course). I am not worried about how to keep her happy, just more how to make sure I'm not shooting myself in the foot by being too much of a softie enabling things that shouldn't happen. Maybe I just don't need to worry about that at all really!

Cats don't really care if you approve of their behaviour or not.

If I tell my cat 'Hey get down' when he jumps up on the kitchen table to lick the children's yoghurt bowls that they didn't tidy up, he will get down in the moment.

But he will do it again without hesitation if he thinks nobody's watching. He will never learn not to take the opportunity if it presents itself because he is not at all motivated to avoid displeasing me.

Not like a dog who can be trained completely out of behaviour you don't want and are usually deeply motivated to please humans.

If she wants to climb the curtains, she just will 🤷‍♀️

If you want to stop a cat from doing something you generally need to make it impossible for them to do it somehow. Not saying it's not possible to influence their behaviour a bit... but it's quite limited I think.

If you want to know about her behaviour and personality, best to ask the person you're adopting her from. They will know if she climbs curtains or whatever.

I read before I got my cat that it's best to set them up in one rooms to start off with, if you can. Put everything they need in one room, let them hide, go in to visit them regularly so they can get used to your voice and smell. Be calm and let them come to you.

Anyway this approach worked great with mine, but he is a naturally friendly cat so it has been an easy process to settle him into his new home. We got him as an adult cat about 2 and a half months ago and he is very relaxed here now.

I think you're both right, it probably is pretty limited what I could do to influence behaviours. She is a bengal so one of the more trainable breeds, but I expect too old to learn new things completely, she will do as she likes! I was hoping it might be possible to help her learn to avoid her jumping up on kitchen sides etc, but I guess we'll just see how it goes and she'll be in charge :)

Tbh I don't really trust the breeders on her character, my sister's cat is totally different from what they said. Some of that I'm sure is down to a completely different environment - from being kept in a house with loads of cats and kittens to being an only cat etc. I have met the new cat etc so do have a little sense of her, and I'm sure we'll be fine together etc, just I know to take the breeder's assurances on what she is like with a huge pinch of salt!

And thanks for the slow introducing to space tips etc, I have got that planned in :)

I think the best you can hope for is not jumping on counters when you can see. She will do absolutely whatever she wants when you're not there so I would always assume a cat has been on the counters and wipe them down anyway.

I’d say manage your expectations and go at the cat’s pace. Our first car we adopted at three direct from a family whose small children were making her stressed. By bedtime on the first night she was sleeping in my lap, and by the end of a week it was like she’d always been with us.

We sadly had to have her pts aged ten in April, and adopted a wee ginger fella very quickly afterwards. He’s almost two and had been a stray kitten. On our first night he was friendly and curious, then completely shut down for a few days, hiding, hissing, eating and using the litter tray “in secret” overnight. He’s now the cuddliest, friendliest boy, but we had at least three months until he was really truly settled - he initially liked to mainly stay in the kitchen (and would be desperate for pets from anyone who went in there) but now he sits up on the sofas with us or sleeps in his bed by the living room radiator.

In terms of “training” our girl would cease any naughtiness with a stern uh-uh. This boy gives zero fucks and has to be bodily removed from the scene of the crime. I’ve given up the battle of the kitchen counters now!

Thanks for your experiences @Judystilldreamsofhorses and @Esgaroth , I think you're both right every cat is so different, but the one thing they have in common is they will most likely primarily do as they please!