How do we stop our boy cat beating up his sister?

[Grizelofthechaletschool]

We have two cats, a brother and sister, who we’ve had for about six months. They came to us at about 15 months old from a family member who could no longer look after them but who had them from kittens.

When they came to us they seemed to be a bonded pair - they slept together in a basket and on family beds and groomed each other. They occasionally play fought but it didn’t seem to be anything concerning. But for the past few months they have grown apart and more recently the boy is really going for his sister, to the extent of clumps of fur being pulled out and her having a few scratches on her face. She never fights back, and she’s also much smaller than him. She does seem frightened of him.

We have bought a Feliway-type diffuser but not sure it’s doing much.

Is there anything else we can do? They’re both such lovely cats - cuddly and sweet tempered with us and our kids - and we’d hate to have to rehome either of them.

We are experienced cat people, by the way, but never had two at once so maybe there is something we’re missing.

That sounds like a sensible, but understandably difficult decision.

It sounds like a good solution @Grizelofthechaletschool , for all concerned, sad though it is. If it isn't getting better then the girl may try to find a new home or just run away which would be equally awful. This way, hopefully both cats get a good home. But it is heartbreaking.

We have two children who love him, so it’s going to be a difficult few weeks I think. He’s sleeping on my youngest’s bed and I feel terrible about it all!

This is what we were mainly concerned about to be honest. That she would just not come home one day and then we’d have just lost her. She had already before Christmas started staying out some nights and not coming home. It has been better the last few weeks but she still spends a lot of time behind the sofa when he’s around. As you say, this way we know they are both in good homes.

Do they love the girl as much? Just wondering whether it was an option to re-home the girl if the children prefer the boy? Still bloody heartbreaking!

Oh this is so sad , poor little girl cat

Ours ( brother/sister) sometimes have a scuffle at each other under the table or when they're waiting for dinner (like they;re going to starve if they have to wait and the other cat has to know just how starving they are ) .
They choose to sit in seperate bits of the house , sometimes the same room, but rarely together .

It must;ve been horrible to see her chased out

This is one of those situations where the safety and health of the cats is the priority .

They do (luckily) and she’s also cuddly if not quite such a personality. We did think about rehoming the girl but thought if she was already feeling pushed out and anxious it wouldn’t be fair to give her more upheaval.

Hello! Coming back for a final update to this thread.

Boy cat was rehomed a few days ago. He is reportedly having a super time and has his new owners wrapped around his little finger. We miss him lots but the good news is that girl cat is thriving. She is fully out of her shell - playful, affectionate and much more ‘visible’ than she had been before. I think we hadn’t fully realised how withdrawn she had been. So I guess it’s a bittersweet outcome for us, but fully sweet for the cats themselves, if you get my meaning.

fully sweet for the cats themselves, if you get my meaning

Tx for updating , it does sound like these two were not going to be compatible , it's funny with cats they either get along or the fur flies . !

She must've been in his shadow and now as you say she can wander about and not be looking over her shoulder ..

Your boy sounds like he'll flourish as an Only Cat too .

( I bet he won't send you a birthday card either , cats are ruthless and wretched like this )

I’m sorry OP. This must have been such a difficult decision but it really does sound like the very best thing for both cats.