How do you prepare yourself to say goodbye?

[Fontainebleau007]

Feeling very emotional today. My cat is 17 and has gone down hill slightly the last few months due to arthritis but otherwise well in herself. Today was an emergency vet trip after there was blood in her urine. They want to do an ultrasound and blood tests and even mentioned the word "tumour"
I'm such a mess. I have had her since I was a teenager and couldn't imagine her not being here.
Even if she is ok for now, I know the end will be edging closer and closer anyway. How do you prepare for the loss? I can't even think about it without crying. I'll be devastated. I love her so much 😢

It’s so hard but I take comfort in knowing that I facilitated a comfortable and happy life that was full of love. I think there’s great comfort in knowing that you did your best by them.

@CaveMum so happy to see your update :) That’s very reassuring for you x

Not a good update for me sadly. My girl seems more scared than ever today and I just caught her pooing on my bed which she’s never done. She’s eating but only if I bring it to her bed.

My heart is saying this could be it but I can’t accept it.

I’ve messaged the vet to ask if there is a painkiller she could take. In case this is all because she is in pain.

Are any of your cats taking a regular painkiller?

I don’t want to make that awful decision to say goodbye until we’ve tried everything. My heart is breaking in two at the thought of this being it. I’m praying there’s a way to help her.

@Daydreamer2017 I’m sorry to read your update.

DCat has Metacam daily - it’s a liquid painkiller that you squirt onto wet food. DCat is wonderfully laid back and placid, but doesn’t do tablets in any way shape or form so I was pleased to find something else she will take. You need a prescription from a vet but you can buy it online very cheaply, we paid £15 for a bottle that would have cost £90 from the vet!

So she is 18, she's not eating or drinking but she's peeing a lot, not moving around, constipated for days and is now pooing on your bed and you think she's in pain. She's probably dehydrated.

You might not be able to accept it but you're going to have to, I'm afraid. You'll regret it more if you get to the point the animal is suffering, which she might be - cats are very stoic creatures. If that was my cat id be making the call and making plans for it to be done in the next few days. There's not likely to be any treatment but if there is you need to be asking your vet not Mumsnet. She's a very old cat.

Yes it will be hard, but the alternative of her having an emergency and being rushed to the vet in pain is worse.

@PenGold absolutely 🤍

@Daydreamer2017 oh nooooo that's awful 😢 mine is also on metacam but I have to painfully say you may have to make that final decision sooner rather than later. Heartbreaking 💔 sending you so much love xx

What a rollercoaster this is!

So we saw the vet and he examined her. She doesn’t appear to be in any pain. But we did work out a likely cause to her recent decline. She had originally been to the vet for the blood in her urine. But was fine in herself other than that. She was given a Convenia antibiotic injection which stays in their system for weeks. She had refused to take antibiotic tablets previously so the vet felt the injection was the best way. But it was after then that she started to decline. So the vet suspects she could be reacting badly to the antibiotic injection. It’s day 14 tomorrow since she had it so the levels should start to lower in her body from tomorrow but he said it could take 60 days (!!) to be fully gone. He was pleased with his obs of her and said to take her home to keep a close eye on her.

After being in tears over her earlier today, she has jumped back up on my lap tonight. Eaten all her dinner and drunk. And just generally looks brighter.

It’s going to be a day by day approach with her. But I certainly don’t want to put her to sleep if this is a temporary reaction to the injection. I regret so badly letting her have it but it’s only with the benefit of hindsight. It hasn’t stopped the blood in her urine either. The vet is going to be testing her urine for infection.

I’ll keep you posted on how she is. I hope it’s a positive update.

@Daydreamer2017 oh goodness what an emotional rollercoaster that is 😢 glad she's better this evening!❣️X

@Daydreamer2017 glad to hear of the improvement, but yes take it day by day and cherish the lap cuddles.

We had to say goodbye to my beautiful girl yesterday morning and I feel absolutely heartbroken.

She died peacefully in my arms as they put her to sleep. Right before, we gave her all her favourite treats that she hasn’t been able to have for months because of her kidney disease management. She certainly hadn’t lost her appetite.

She had been so much better the past two weeks and I was feeling so hopeful that I had many more months ahead with her. She was cuddling and purring on my lap Sunday evening when all of a sudden she started bleeding heavily. She was then unable to urinate so we rushed her to the emergency vets. An ultrasound revealed a massive bladder tumor blocking most of her bladder. Aside from major surgery which she couldn’t handle at her age, there was nothing we could do.

The lovely but hard part was she was still her happy, purring self in those last moments and eating all the food we gave her. I love that for her but it made it very hard to say we were ready. I just wanted to take her home. But that wouldn’t have been fair on her. The tumour was only going to get worse.

She passed so peacefully and is now back in her little urn.

i’m so so lucky to have had 18 wonderful years with her. But she’s been there to comfort me through any hard time in my adult life. Now I need her more than ever and she’s not here.

My kids are upset but coping well. The 6 year old has been asking lots of questions. This is their first experience of grief.

I didn’t know how I would ever cope with being there with my girl at the very end. But I’m so glad I was the one holding her. And she honestly had the most peaceful and dignified passing. So I’m very at peace with that.

But I’m missing her so so much and right now, I don’t know how I’ll ever get this aching pain to stop. She was my little soulmate.

I hope everyone else is doing well. If your cat is with you right now, give them a big cuddle x

Oh @Daydreamer2017 I’m so sorry. Much love to you and your kids right now.

@Daydreamer2017 oh I'm so so sorry to read that. Absolutely heartbroken for you 💔 sending you all a big hug x😢 RIP little one 🌈 x

Hi everyone thought I would update this thread. She's been doing alot better on solensia. Blood test was fine and urine test showed up fine but after the storm this weekend, my poor girls taken a turn for the worst. I'm pretty sure it was because it ended up soooo cold in here. We tried keeping her warm with warm hot water bottles but she collapsed.
Shes struggling on her hind legs and that's led to constipation. Got metacam and a laxative to try and help but she collapsed again today trying to get up and is so lethargic it's breaking my heart. 💔 there's such sadness in her eyes and even her meow is different. Vet advices to keep her on this medication for 3-5 days and see how she is. If not then I think we need to have the talk about what's best for her 😢 my heart aches but I'll keep this thread updated.

💐I really feel for you. We had our dear old cat pts last year. DS was devastated but in the end it was a merciful relief.

We buried our dear Trixie but we live on a farm. Every now and then we reminisce about the funny things she did.

So sorry you are going through this

my cat was 18 years old and went through hard times. Vet patched her up and she had a really fantastic 6 weeks then went downhill rapidly. Vets said the could try and patch her up again but I knew another few weeks wasn’t worth another bad night and it was time to let her go and not try anymore

thinking of you and your family

@SparklesandRainbows I'm so sorry to read your update. I hope the medication helps your beautiful girl. It's absolutely heartbreaking watching them deteriorate.

It's been 2 months since I had to put my beautiful girl to sleep. I miss her terribly. But the worst pain was watching her suffer. I never knew how i'd be able to make the decision to pts, but suddenly the moment came when I knew I had to do it to stop her suffering. I feel at peace with my decision despite how much I miss her.

I will keep fingers crossed that you have more time ahead with your lovely girl. And her health starts to improve x

@derxa so sorry for your loss sending hugs 🌈😢xx

@SparklesandRainbows I’m so sorry to read your update. I hope you can make the remaining time as comfortable for her as possible.

@OnTheBoardwalk aw I'm so sorry to read that sending you hugs 💔 I definitely agree with you, when the time comes I know I'll make the right decision for her as heartbreaking as it is. X

@Daydreamer2017 thank you so much. I remember your last post, heartbreaking 💔 😢 absolutely, I'll definitely make the right decision for her if nothing improves. To give her peace and know she's not in pain is all I want for her xx

@CaveMum thank you so so much 🩷 To see the responses here really has been touching so thank you. Xx

She's currently in the vets on fluids. Our last attempt at helping to stabilise her. We're going to get a phone call in the morning and if she's not improved then unfortunately this will be the end. 😢

Sending you a handhold during this difficult time, it is the kindest yet hardest gift to give to your little love 💐