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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

DPs car attacking mine

12 replies

NellieTheElephant1 · 30/10/2024 20:45

I've recently moved into DPs house with my 2 dcats, DP also has a cat. We followed advice on introducing cats gradually - mine were kept in one room for the first 3 weeks, we had feliway diffusers and did scent swapping, before short supervised in person meetings (with Dreamies to make positive associations). However, DPs cat has remained hostile to mine and has attacked both of them on separate occasions. He is lovely with humans but has always been a fighter with other cats, I had really hoped he would learn to tolerate mine. Is there anything we can do? They have separate food stations, litter trays etc. One of my cats doesn't go out as the cat flap is often guarded, my other cat rarely comes in the house for the same reason.

OP posts:
K0OLA1D · 30/10/2024 20:48

I have 5. One of them, who we rescued at 10 has never got on with the others.

She stays in her bed mostly and hisses and spats at the others. Its been nearly 3 years. They just co exist. She doesn't like going out either. She's a complete fuss pot with humans though.

Are you planning on letting them out? Or are they all indoor?

Original poster
NellieTheElephant1 · 30/10/2024 20:49

Oops just noticed typo in the subject line but can't seem to edit it🙄

OP posts:
Beamur · 30/10/2024 20:54

It can take a long time.
Keep on with the feliway and separate food/trays etc and ensure they interact as safely as possible.
Mine are still not friends after 5 years but have learnt to live alongside each other.

Marblesbackagain · 30/10/2024 20:57

Unfortunately you may have to ensure they are kept apart. I had this when I had to take my aunt's cat in when she passed.

Sadly, they still don't tolerate eachother ten years in 🤦‍♀️.

Edenmum2 · 30/10/2024 21:08

I don't know about cats but I reckon people's cars attacking each other is a great premise for a black mirror episode....I was quite excited for a second.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 30/10/2024 21:14

Poor things. Not in their familiar place and then trapped with a demon cat that owns their prison. You're going to need to keep them separate for a lot longer than this.

Your partner's cat is neutered, isn't he?

PandorasJam · 30/10/2024 21:15

Maybe DP's car is a Jaguar?

coffeesaveslives · 31/10/2024 03:54

There's no guarantee they'll ever get on.

MoonRiverDancing · 31/10/2024 04:54

I honestly think it would be the kindest to rehome. This situation doesn’t sound fair to any of the three of them. They will all be very stressed. We’ve always managed to introduce kittens into our house - we live rurally and any half frozen kitten found gets dropped at ours for defrosting and never leaves! It can take a longish time even with kittens.

The one time we tried to integrate an adult rescue cat it was clear it wasn’t working pretty much instantly. That’s the vibe I’m getting from what you describe unfortunately. It would be sad to rehome and you have to do it carefully to make sure cats go to a good place. It would also be sad for you or your DP but I think it would be best for the cats. They’re not like dogs who look to their humans when in need or in frightening environments. I’m sure some adult cats can be successfully integrated to at least tolerate each other but it doesn’t seem likely yours will.

sashh · 31/10/2024 06:14

Co existing might be the best you ever get.

Can you create 'walk ways' for the cats so they don't have to cross each other's territory? Bookshelves, well placed chairs, coffee table etc so one cat can be high up and avoid one on the floor.

This is why you see cats doing the upi-downi walk on fences, they are crossing another cat's territory. If you can't make a higher up walk way make sure there is enough room for them to pass each other.

Cats also 'time share' territory, this is why you might see neighbour one's black and white in your garden at 9am every day while your own cat goes in the garden at a different time.

So you could try imposing a time share with your cats being in a certain room in the morning and then swapping with DPs cat for the afternoon.

Good luck.

Oh and your local Cats Protection probably has a phone line where you can get advice. I used to foster for them and what I have written above is from one of their training courses.

MoonRiverDancing · 31/10/2024 06:21

sashh · 31/10/2024 06:14

Co existing might be the best you ever get.

Can you create 'walk ways' for the cats so they don't have to cross each other's territory? Bookshelves, well placed chairs, coffee table etc so one cat can be high up and avoid one on the floor.

This is why you see cats doing the upi-downi walk on fences, they are crossing another cat's territory. If you can't make a higher up walk way make sure there is enough room for them to pass each other.

Cats also 'time share' territory, this is why you might see neighbour one's black and white in your garden at 9am every day while your own cat goes in the garden at a different time.

So you could try imposing a time share with your cats being in a certain room in the morning and then swapping with DPs cat for the afternoon.

Good luck.

Oh and your local Cats Protection probably has a phone line where you can get advice. I used to foster for them and what I have written above is from one of their training courses.

This is all great advice. If you did want to keep trying, I would recommend at least one more cat flap in a different location.

Original poster
NellieTheElephant1 · 31/10/2024 07:32

Thank you, fellow cat ladies 🐈‍⬛ we will keep trying and hope that in time the resident cat will accept my new comers.

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