Personality changes after loss of ‘brother’?

[JohnPrescottsPyjamas]

I had two Bengals - not related to each other. Bruno, who we had first, was 12 and Buster is 6. Sadly, I had to have Bruno PTS last week. He was always the more affectionate, loved people and followed me around like a little dog. Buster has always been fiercely independent, doesn’t like a fuss, everything on his terms and was always desperate to go out in the morning to check his boundaries for any other cat interlopers and generally stayed out all day.

Since we lost Bruno, Buster has become much more cuddly, purring, rolling and making biscuits. He’s not so fussed about going out and when he does, comes back and checks in regularly - although this might be the change of seasons.

Random question, but is it possibly because there’s been a change of hierarchy and Buster knows he’s the ‘senior’ cat now? Something has certainly changed in the last week and the personality switch is quite dramatic. Or is it maybe Buster’s confusion over the loss of his ‘brother’? Anyone else had this experience or see this in their own cats?

We had brother cats when I was a child/teenager and saw exactly the same thing. The cats seemed to tolerate one another all right and never fought, but mostly ignored each other. One was a friendly, sociable cat and the other seemed much more aloof, was usually out and avoided us.

Well friendly cat was unfortunately run over and aloof cat was overjoyed. He became the cuddliest, friendliest cat ever and was so much happier and more confident.

I think many cats do prefer to be the only cat in the house.

Bengals are often only children at heart. He sounds much happier which is always a bit galling when your mourning.

Thank you for your replies.

Yes, that’s sounds exactly like what is happening. They occasionally slept together, but weren’t especially close generally. Their play could quickly turn into a punch up, so if I’m honest, I’m not sure how much they really liked each other.

@FormerlyPathologicallyHappy It’s very sad, but you might have a point. Perhaps Buster wasn’t that happy being part of a pair.

Very similar experience with my tortie girls. One very loving, playful and exploratory, the other aloof, short tempered and lazy. Playful girl got run over and the bad tempered one became much more affectionate and good tempered. She was still lazy though 😂

Total change in surviving (twin) brother here too.
He adopted some of his deceased brother's traits including being a bit more of a lap cat.

The weirdest thing was the morning after first DCat (DC1) died, surviving cat (DC2) leapt up on to my lap at breakfast time and sat there while I had breakfast. He had NEVER done that before, whereas almost up until the end, his brother had done this every morning.
He was definitely in mourning for about a month. He would rather sleep on the hard floor BESIDES the cat basket rather than in it which they both used to sleep in together.
We'd brought DC1's body back home from the vets to let DC2 see/smell it, but he wouldn't go anywhere near it. Hopefully he had some idea of what had happened, but who knows what goes through their minds..

When I was a teenager we had two cats of different ages, and eventually the older one died. The younger one completely disappeared from the house when he got ill and didn't come back until several days later, after the other cat was dead. When he did, one of the first things he did was to join us in the living room in the evening to watch TV: which was something the older cat had always done and the younger cat never did. It did feel that he understood he was now the senior cat in the house and could take on this new relationship to us.

That’s really interesting because my two had their favourite beds and the first night without Bruno, Buster got straight into Bruno’s bed - he’d never used it before. He’s also sleeping on exactly the same spot in our spare bed that Bruno liked.

Like you have related, it’s almost like he’s morphing into his ‘brother’ now he’s not here.
Fascinating stuff and how cats are such mysterious creatures.

Yep, mine 'missed' her dominant older brother for a couple of weeks, searching for him and calling anxiously around the house... 😿 Then, as it sunk in that he wasn't coming back, she began exploring his old places in the house - the big bed, the 'best' window... she also became more assertive and vocal with us, in a good way.

It clearly suits her to be the only house cat, and though I would LOVE to have another one, or two kittens, it would break her heart. I can't do that to her. My vet agrees that some - he says most - cats just thrive on being the One and Only. 🤷‍♀️

Oh yeah some cats are definitely happy when their house cat mate dies 😂 think others don’t necessarily feel glad to be alone but do occupy the available space more. I have two and am sure the younger one will be very happy when older one dies - I’ll be sad though!