Is giving it more time cruel or sensible?

[Cherryana]

Circumstances have happened that mean out of the blue we have got a very timid six year old beautiful cat.

However we already have an energetic alpha male kitten. They couldn’t have further apart personalities.

We have kept her in the living room but on the occasions where they have met (because he is fast and determined). It’s been distressing. He has gone straight for her - trying to bite her neck. She is petrified.

I can’t see how they will ever get on. I don’t want the girl to be so distressed.

It’s been 10 days since we got her and she is spending about 23 hours a day under our sofa. She would suit a family without pets but as I said - due to circumstances outside of my control - she is here and I do love her.

Do you think it could work out over time or am I just making it more painful for everyone by trying?

From my experience let them sort it out. Only get involved if fur fly's. Have introduced many cats over years to each other. Give them time. They get there 😽

Look at some Jackson Galaxy videos on You Tube, there are plenty on introducing and reintroducing cats and he is a God of cat whisperers.

It's far too early to tell either way.

But you really do need to keep them completely apart for now and only introduce slowly via scent and sound before even beginning to introduce by sight.

Introducing adults is much more complex than introducing kittens unfortunately.

Thanks everyone. Ah yes Jackson Galaxy videos are amazing. They are totally separated at the moment and she came out this evening and sat on the sofa which was progress.

I did four months in a similar situation. My new cat wasn't aggressive, he just wanted to play. But existing cat was terrified. I kept waiting for it to improve. But it didn't. With hindsight, it was too long, but I needed to know that I gave it the best shot. I tired everything. Existing cat bounced back very quickly.

@Toddlerteaplease I understand
completely about wanting to try everything.

Has he had his knackers chopped off yet? If not, they need to go before he goes anywhere near her again.

10 days is too early. I did a lot of scent swapping and then let new cat wander around the house when old cat was out.
Lots of feeding them by the door separating them, then opening it and madly chuking cat treats at them.
And a lot of Feliway.

Eventually I did leave them to scrap it out but it was less due to all the acclimatization. I had v timid female and confident male that didn't give a shit. Female eventually took some swipes at him and made it clear she was the boss.

Thanks everyone- I do appreciate all the comments. As it’s a lot of unknown..trying to balance needs and flailing in the dark.

So the kitten is booked in next week for the op. It will be good for him because he is lovely but an alpha.

I have kept them totally apart for the last two days and last night she came
out and I saw her play a little with me and a ball. She also didn’t run and hide when my son came in the living room.

After two weeks of basically living under the sofa - I saw that as progress of her being more trusting of us.

That sounds really positive.

I would probably keep them apart until he's recovered from his surgery and then try going slowly with scent swapping etc.

He's not an alpha anything. He's just an unneutered Tom Cat that wants to shag everything in his path - and fight anything that he can't shag.

Keep them utterly separate until he's done.