@Cheepcheepcheep thank you. My girl is still missing. I too feel as if it's in the hands of the gods - we've searched, multiple times. We've flyered every letterbox in the immediate area. Haven't gone further afield with those but TBH my girl will have stayed within our immediate area so it doesn't seem worth it. She's either been caught by a neighbour's dog or got trapped somewhere, I think. If the former, I doubt they'd admit to it and would probably dispose of her body without getting in touch with me. 😭I can't quite believe she's wandered further afield and got lost, because she's not an indoor cat who has accidentally escaped. I've also learned through this that we have at least one right weirdo in our immediate neighbourhood, having received messages the night that we flyered from a bloke who got my number from the flyer and decided he wanted to 'get to know me'. Presumably in the Love Island sense. Which puts me off making my number any more widely available (thank fuck I didn't put our exact address on the flyer!) and also puts me off knocking on more doors than I already have.
I did go and speak to the people who live in the houses that she would normally visit the gardens of, had a good search in the first one because that's normally where she is if not at home. And had the second one check his summerhouse, shed etc. I've also got a public post on FB in a few local area groups, and have had friends sharing it to anyone they know who lives locally. Which, like the flyering, had a disappointing side effect of getting repeatedly attacked by bots posting comments about a spam pet tracking service in the USA (I'm in the UK).
I also left the door to our cat flap open until the night before last, in case she came home in the middle of the night. But I can't keep doing that as it gives our other cat the freedom of the night to wander. Honestly I can't tell you how much easier this awful experience has been for having another cat in the house already - and he's directly related to her (mother and son) so it still feels like a part of her is here. Boycat is also extremely bonded to my SEN daughter and I can't imagine how she would even begin to cope if something happened to him. So we're back to shutting the internal door to the cat flap at night. But, should she come home in the night, she'll find her cosy bed right after coming through the cat flap, and fresh water, and a plate of fresh food. And I'll keep putting the fresh food down each night at least until all of the pouches that she would eat have been used up. Boycat only likes a selected few of them anyway and generally prefers to eat biscuits and treats instead of 'real' food.
I guess I've made my peace with her not coming home, but still holding out a bit of hope. It's different to the last time we lost a cat - he was our only cat then and was killed in a road accident. Going around putting away all of the bowls, beds etc was heartbreaking but at least we knew what had happened and could collect his body from the vet for cremation. We actually adopted our current pair shortly afterwards, not to replace him (they never did) but because we had a home to offer a cat and there are always so many cats waiting for a home. It was weird at first, we had these two strangers who were scared of us hiding under a sofa and it made us miss our old cat even more. But as time passed we fell completely in love with them, of course.
It's different again this time because we still have a cat and won't be getting any more as long as he's with us. So my girl has a (hopefully) indefinite amount of time to find her way home without finding an 'intruder' cat here.
For now I'm hoping for the best, while expecting the worst, and telling myself that she's accidentally wandered into the home of a little old lady who has seen that she has no collar (she's chipped though!) and decided she is a stray. She'll be confused, and missing me, but sitting there being fed fresh tuna and being given loads of love and attention and getting herself set up for a new but very happy life. I hope she's been very happy with us, but she doesn't love living with her son anymore and would prefer to be the only cat in her home. He doesn't seem to be missing his mum at all either. It gives me a little peace to think that she might have found herself a better home. Dwelling on the other possible outcomes is something I'm trying not to do, because the thought of her scared/injured/in pain and thinking that I somehow abandoned her is more than I can bear. 😭