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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

How often do you pet your cats?

25 replies

RedRobyn2021 · 15/10/2024 06:57

My two cats are 8 & 9 years old now, when it was just the two of them, they got a lot of attention.

Then we got a puppy and my attention was divided again, the dog is 5 now

Then 3 years ago I had my DD and I think I gave them very little attention for at least a year

Now I'm pregnant and we have this little routine where I'll make some tea and get back in to bed on a morning and my eldest cat (who I've obviously had the longest) will come and sit in bed with me and she'll be stroked and given attention. But it rarely lasts longer than 15 minutes before my daughter scares her off by jumping on the bed or because she wants to pet her as well. The other cat gets intermittent cuddles and attention. Both are very affectionate animals and I feel bad that soon there will be another baby, they will have even less. My DP doesn't give them any attention any more, sometimes he'll tolerate them curling up next to him, he's become a misery about them, moans about them all the time.. dotes on the dog though 🙄

Even so, they do seem quite content

Just wondered what it is like for others? Not that long ago, they were my world and I loved them like they were my own babies, but now the best I can muster is the above plus regular meals and litter changes.

OP posts:
coffeesaveslives · 15/10/2024 07:00

We have three cats - they get several hours of attention between them a day, normally in the form of cuddles on the sofa in the evenings or in bed in the morning.

sashh · 15/10/2024 07:14

Mine rules the street.

She gets attention from me and my carer. She visits several neighbours doing an impression of a starving kitten.

About 2 months ago new neighbours moved in, I warned them about her. Apparently she had already been in, eaten their cat's food and slept for an hour on one of their knees.

She demands attention from the supermarket delivery people, the postie, the gardeners, anyone delivering a take away...

When she is not demanding attention or being fed she sits / lies in the middle of the road stopping the cars (fortunately I'm on a cul - de - sac with only 7 houses).

BlackOrangeFrog · 15/10/2024 07:21

Not much, we don't see much of her tbh.

She's around in the evenings but likes to sit on the back if the sofa rather than laps. Or just be in the same room.

She's never been a lap cat though.
She hates being picked up (necessity though for flea drops etc)

She gets a fuss if we see her, but not hours a day at all, maybe an hour a week?

She seems happy enough.

EmpressaurusDeiGatti · 15/10/2024 07:28

Whenever she wants. We have play & cuddle sessions at least twice a day, more if I’m working from home, plus the occasional cheek & chin rub. She’s not keen on being picked up but she’ll come & sit by me when she wants attention.

I don’t think she’d be at all impressed if I added kids and a puppy to the mix!

Isntshelovely2024 · 15/10/2024 07:32

Ours gets as much attention as she will allow. Lots in the evening in bed and first thing in the morning. She wakes us in the night and we cuddle her. If she would have more we would give more - it’s why we got cats to love them. We also have a young child and both work full time

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 15/10/2024 08:50

Ours get all the attention they demand (as well as some they probably don't want 🤣).
They sleep on our bed at night, sit on our laps in the evening and always join us for breakfast. They are also very pleased to see our adult children when they appear at our home.
Always had cats - we brought up two sons from babies with cats and never stopped giving the cats the attention they needed.

NunyaBeeswax · 15/10/2024 09:19

I give her as much attention as she wants from me.

The cat is all about the daughter though. The two of them are almost inseparable TBF.

Original poster
RedRobyn2021 · 15/10/2024 09:41

NunyaBeeswax · 15/10/2024 09:19

I give her as much attention as she wants from me.

The cat is all about the daughter though. The two of them are almost inseparable TBF.

How old is your daughter out of interest?

My daughter is 3 and her and the dog get on really well (mostly because the dog is more forgiving) but the cats tend to avoid her more

OP posts:
NunyaBeeswax · 15/10/2024 09:55

RedRobyn2021 · 15/10/2024 09:41

How old is your daughter out of interest?

My daughter is 3 and her and the dog get on really well (mostly because the dog is more forgiving) but the cats tend to avoid her more

Show quote history

The cats been in her life since she was 3.
They're adorable.

When DD gets up and heads off to school, she makes her bed nice and leaves her dressing gown all neat ready for the cat to sleep on for the day. She leaves her bedside lamp on as well, when I asked why, she explained its so the cat can read comics.. 🤣🤣

JoanChitty · 15/10/2024 11:04

Our two cats are quite elderly. One is nearly 17 and the other 13. They spend time with us in the evening and love a good head rub. The younger one sleeps with us and weighs a ton! However, our daughter has come back to live with us bringing her 2 cats. One is 12 and one 6. The older one keeps herself to herself but the younger one is very affectionate. My cats are not impressed but so far they have all managed to coexist peacefully. Long may it last!

Tdcp · 15/10/2024 11:07

I give my cats as much attention as they want, they are both quite aloof though, one is out all the time sleeping in the garden under various bushes and one has petting aggression so she only wants strokes when she seeks it out. I am available whenever they want it though.

SettlerOfDivan · 15/10/2024 11:12

One would rather die than ask for or submit to any sort of physical affection.
One is constantly climbing over everyone drooling and rubbing her head.
One will put up with anything for food. Occasionally forgets the food and falls asleep being cradled like a baby.

IthinkIamAnAlien · 15/10/2024 11:26

Hi Redrobyn, you are certainly divided into little pieces on the caring front, how wonderful and capacious. I totally sympathise with your dilemma and so nice for your cats that you care so much.
I recognise your situation, I've been there and I'm left now with one middle aged, ex rescue cat who is half a Maine Coon. Maine Coons are known for being highly interactive, emotional and smart, I've never had a cat like him and I spend my days in paroxysms of guilt and anxiety about whether he is ok. He never gets enough attention from me and is always begging for more.
At least your cats have each other and it sounds like they have a good life and that you give them as much attention as you can. Cats pretty much deal with the situation they are in, don't they, and they are quite self sufficient even if they ask for attention.
They maybe won't be with you much longer anyway and they probably accept that their home is home. Lucky cats. Have they got quiet spaces where they can get away if they want/need to? Maybe your daughter is just about old enough to be encouraged to empathise with them and could maybe be helped to see them as having special needs which she can cater for?
Maybe that's too big an ask but from one anxious cat owner to another, I'd say that you're doing ok, after all, cats are known for clearing off and finding another home if they're really unhappy. Good luck, congrats on the forthcoming new baby. x

Original poster
RedRobyn2021 · 15/10/2024 17:54

@NunyaBeeswax bless her ♥️ that's very sweet

OP posts:
K0OLA1D · 15/10/2024 17:56

I've got 5 cats, a dog and 2 dc. The cats get pets when they want them. 3 sleep with us so get cuddles when they choose to sleep with us. One rarely leaves the utility but gets fussed when she's fed and another rarely comes in, so his fusses are few and far between

Puppylucky · 15/10/2024 18:00

Elton is emotionally needy and would happily be petted 24/7. He gets cuddles in the morning when we get up and and random points during the day as well as snuggling up with us at night but frankly it's not enough in his book.

sashh · 16/10/2024 03:18

Well yesterday morning I heard a small child calling my cat's name. New neighbour's grand daughter apparently also has a turn in petting.

Plump82 · 16/10/2024 04:59

My cats are 5 and I reckon they've had about 4.5 years of affection! I work from home and have at least one in my lap most days. One sleeps with us every night and absolutely adores me so just demands affection! I talk to them and stroke then constantly through the day. Id be lost without them.

Selttan · 16/10/2024 05:34

I have 2 cats - one is an attention slut and will often be all over me and sleeps with me at night.
One night when she was being a pest and constantly waking me up I thought fine I'll do the same to you and keep waking you up every half hour during the day. The little turd lived it and was happy to see'd every time.

My other girl is not as an affection and will rub against my legs or come sit next to me on the lounge. She's probably happy with 30 mins of patting a day but not all at once.

CleanShirt · 16/10/2024 05:53

If I'm awake and my hands are empty, boy cat is getting stroked. That's the rule.

changedusernameforthis1 · 16/10/2024 06:36

It depends on the time of year. When it's colder, they get attention almost constantly. Sit with us for tv or film at night, snuggle with us in bed, cuddles for each feed time etc.

If it's nice and warm then they treat us like a b&b 😂 occasionally if we're using the garden then they'll grace us with their presence for 5 mins but other than that, we're just the staff 🙃

Overtheatlantic · 17/10/2024 17:01

My girl is 9 and for the past two years she’s sought me out for morning cuddles in bed. She’s little spoon. She escorts me to the bathroom throughout the day and expects pets then and again when I feed her. No lap sitting though!

Original poster
RedRobyn2021 · 17/10/2024 20:31

Overtheatlantic · 17/10/2024 17:01

My girl is 9 and for the past two years she’s sought me out for morning cuddles in bed. She’s little spoon. She escorts me to the bathroom throughout the day and expects pets then and again when I feed her. No lap sitting though!

This sounds exactly like mine, she always loved to come and lay next to me in bed. Although in recent years she has become a bit more of a lap cat, unthinkable a few years ago

OP posts:
buffyfaithspike · 17/10/2024 20:34

All day. He demands belly rubs and sleeps wedged against me

Relearningbehaviour · 17/10/2024 21:00

Mine takes turns on who's bed he sleeps on. Demands strokes from everyone and snuggles up to me in the evening. But won't go on our lap

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