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My darling boy- killed on the road

31 replies

Words · 04/10/2024 12:03

I can't believe I am writing this.

On Monday lunchtime Tom was going in and out a bit, went to visit his friend Sally next door, then I got busy with work. When he wasn't home at dinner time I became very worried.

He was ( how can it be the past tense?) a confident and friendly cat, extremely bonded to me. He would rarely be out more than two or three hours and is not the sort who would take fright at something and hide away.

I know we all say a few hours is nothing, please don't despair. But I KNEW the world no longer had Tom in it. I also had a strange dream about this last week which almost matched what happened but don't want to give details as you will all think I am mad.

Sleepless night followed by more hours of calling and searching. Then a neighbour came to my door looking stricken. Tom had been found in some bushes. They brought him back to me wrapped in black plastic in a cardboard box. My beautiful darling boy. Hit by a speeding car driven by one of the morons who,use our quiet village lane as a cut through. I sat on the stairs and howled.

My precious cat - loyal friend and companion of 13 years. Neighbourhood character, friend to many but most of all, he absolutely adored me as I did him.

They took his body away to be cremated yesterday.

I feel unhinged and completely grief stricken.

OP posts:
Passwordsaremynemesis · 04/10/2024 12:04

I am so sorry for your loss.

Sethera · 04/10/2024 12:05

I'm so sorry Flowers No words for this, but sending all my sympathy.

Leeds157 · 04/10/2024 12:07

I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️

abracadabra1980 · 04/10/2024 12:07

There are no words right now. Possibly there never will be. I have felt this pain more than once. It's a massive cliche but time does heal - a little.
Please be kind to yourself and try to think of the happier times ❤️

JoanOgden · 04/10/2024 12:09

I am so sorry. Poor darling Tom, and poor you.

Drachuughtty · 04/10/2024 12:12

So sorry for your loss. It sounds devastating. So many here will know what you're going through.
Blue cross have a support line:

https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss

Sotired22 · 04/10/2024 12:15

I’m so sorry for your loss. This has happened to me too and it was an awful shock, I felt sick. It’s a horrible way to lose them. Try to hold on to the fact that you gave him a good life and made him happy, as he did you. I also took a bit of comfort in the fact that I knew what had happened and I had an answer, rather than your cat just going missing and never knowing what happened.

Be kind to yourself, it will get a little easier with time.

Fleecedandzipped · 04/10/2024 12:28

Oh, I'm very sorry to read this. We lost two of our three cats to RTAs.
Even though one knows it's always a possibility when cats are allowed to roam, it's nonetheless a horrible shock when it happens.

As a driver, I often see cats darting across the road in front of me and some of them have come within an inch of their lives in doing so. Not all drivers on country lanes are speeding. I never drive above 20mph on lanes but, even at that relatively low speed, if a cat decided to run out in front of the car I wouldn't be able to avoid an impact. Thankfully, despite driving for over 40 years on country lanes at night, I have never hit a cat - and, of course, I sincerely hope that I never will.

SaturdayMorningRun · 04/10/2024 18:12

I'm so sorry. He was obviously loved very much and lucky to have you. There are no words. Cry when you need to. 💐

TwigTheWonderKid · 04/10/2024 18:35

Fleecedandzipped · 04/10/2024 12:28

Oh, I'm very sorry to read this. We lost two of our three cats to RTAs.
Even though one knows it's always a possibility when cats are allowed to roam, it's nonetheless a horrible shock when it happens.

As a driver, I often see cats darting across the road in front of me and some of them have come within an inch of their lives in doing so. Not all drivers on country lanes are speeding. I never drive above 20mph on lanes but, even at that relatively low speed, if a cat decided to run out in front of the car I wouldn't be able to avoid an impact. Thankfully, despite driving for over 40 years on country lanes at night, I have never hit a cat - and, of course, I sincerely hope that I never will.

But presumably if you did hit a cat you would stop and see if you can help it?

We had 2 cats killed on the road and neither driver bothered to stop. Which is really adding insult to injury.

CatChant · 04/10/2024 18:43

I am so very sorry. It’s a cruel way to have lost him.

Pudmyboy · 04/10/2024 18:58

So sorry to hear about Tom, such sad news, I am glad you had each other for so long which may in the future be some sort of consolation. Right now it is very raw, I know, please come on here and rant/rave/cry / tell us all about Tom if you want to 💐

mondaytosunday · 04/10/2024 19:00

So sorry. I lost one cat when I let my BF out the front door one night and my black cat went out too - he normally went out the back to all the gardens. Three days later he was found. I felt so responsible.
You gave him 13 years of love and hopefully the end was quick.

Nsky62 · 04/10/2024 19:02

How awful to lose him, it’s a horrible loss, I know

CountFucula · 04/10/2024 19:04

So sorry, it’s really hard. I know this is crazy but I found this website really helpful when I was grieving my best cat 💔
https://www.humanesociety.org/resources/how-cope-death-your-pet

and I did have a memorial with my family which seemed bonkers but genuinely helped x

How to cope with the death of your pet

How to take care of yourself, your family and other pets when you've had to say goodbye

https://www.humanesociety.org/resources/how-cope-death-your-pet

WildAndFree123 · 04/10/2024 19:06

I am so sorry. It sounds like darling Tom had a lovely life with you. Your love for him shines through.

Uricon2 · 04/10/2024 19:11

I'm so sorry Flowers

Fleecedandzipped · 04/10/2024 20:05

TwigTheWonderKid · 04/10/2024 18:35

But presumably if you did hit a cat you would stop and see if you can help it?

We had 2 cats killed on the road and neither driver bothered to stop. Which is really adding insult to injury.

Yes, I would try to get it to a vet if I could, even if it was obviously dead. Chances are that it would be microchipped and at least the owners could them be notified.

ColdinSeptember · 04/10/2024 20:23

I lost my cat this week, I’m completely broken. I didn’t know it would be this bad.

BiscuitlyBoyle · 04/10/2024 20:29

I’m so sorry. As a child I grew up in a quiet village. But more people got cars and commuters came through. We lost so many to the road. It’s horrible and so unfair. My girl loves to go outside but I worry the whole time.

Rumforme · 04/10/2024 20:33

I'm sorry about what happened to your lovely cat. He was lucky to have you and you were lucky to have him.

Words · 05/10/2024 11:43

Thank you all. Your kind words are really helping.

OP posts:
FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 05/10/2024 16:38

I cried every day for 18m when we lost the bengal on the road. It was horrifically painful. You just love them so much.

OverthinkingOlive · 05/10/2024 16:51

I'm so sorry for your loss. My darling boy went peacefully of old age in 2009 and I still have his collar. If he had been hit by a car I'd honestly never have gotten over it. I'm so sorry x

whiskeyarmadillo · 05/10/2024 17:06

I am so sorry. It's utterly heartbreaking to lose them that way. Sending love x