Adopted two sister cats, and they hate each other

[sistercats]

Hi all,

Just wondered if you had any advice. We've adopted two cats. Sisters, almost two years old. They seem to absolutely hate each other despite getting on really well beforehand. They quite like being around us. But the moment they catch sight of each other, one of them becomes incredibly aggressive to the other. No actual fighting but more hissing, growling, etc.

I know this is not uncommon, but I want to do the right thing. I've ordered a Feliway diffuser. Reading conflicting information online - some people say let them get on with it, give them a couple of days and see if it works out. Others say separate them immediately and reintroduce them as though they've never met each other before.

Just wondered which approach is the right one? The quieter one seems to be really freaked out at the moment 😔

When did they start to hate each other? Was it when you brought them home?

Yes! They were fine until we brought them back here - apparently they got on very well before

OK, if they started to behave like this after you brought them home/via the vet, it could be that they don't recognise each other. Cats primarily recognise each other via scent, so instead of smelling like "my sister cat", they now smell like "horrible pain place (vet)" or "strange new place (your house)".

This happened to mine after one of them spent the night at the vet, and I had to separate them for a day or so. But within a couple of days they were back to normal.

I adopted two bonded sister. They didn't like each other when they settled in. Although there wasn't any actual aggression. I think they suddenly felt safe, and didn't need to rely on each other.

I very much doubt they got on well before, seems perhaps someone has told you some porkies

I don't think cats get on well past kitten hood really. They tolerate each other. Mine are sisters. As kittens they were inseparable. As adults they mostly ignored each other. Occasionally there would be a little spat - one was more pushy and the other would scratch her. Now they're elderly, they are more tolerate than they were and even sit close to each other (never touching).

From cats I've known in the past , there's always one who is more dominant. If the other accepts it, it works fine. I think with my two, there isn't really one who accepts that the other is more dominant.

My cats don't get on.

It's mostly fine, they just fight occasionally.

They're funny creatures. My sibling pair were inseparable as kittens, fought progressively more between six months and two, and then one sadly went missing and we were contacted by a local vet who'd had her handed in dead. The other spent a fortnight miaowing in every corner, wouldn't settle - he really seemed to be searching for her. He even went off his food. But when she was alive on the rare occasion they were within a foot of one another there would be aggro, it'd start well, they'd greet one another then she'd hiss, or she'd try to groom him and they'd end up scuffling and growling. I reckon they barely tolerated each other, maybe one interaction in ten was friendly, but he was clearly discombobulated when she went. So they may 'like' each other in their own way?

I don't think that's the case - we adopted them from a friend of my parents. My parents looked after them a few times in the past and they seemed fine with each other then. When we went to visit them they were cuddled up to each other on a blanket.

I don't know how to describe this - it's like they literally can't stand the sight of each other. I don't think their owner would have been able to keep them in a tiny flat for two years if they were like this with each other. The bossy one seems very unhappy and stressed out at the moment and keeps stalking around growling, looking for the other one and hissing when she finds her.

This gives me hope! I think I'll separate them and slowly reintroduce them. They were living in a small flat with a dog, but we have a bit more space to keep them apart here.

The quiet one really wants to come out and bond with us but she can't at the moment :(

Thank you. I'm hoping they can learn to tolerate each other, that would be better than what we have right now!

Do they both feel able to walk around the house/feel comfortable to explore? Because one of ours is really angry at the other one at the moment, which is my main concern. Wouldn't mind the occasional spat, this feels more like a constant anger

Try a scent transfer. As pp said, our cat couldn't recognise her sister when she came back from a short stay at the vets. Rub a cloth against the neck (behind the ear) of one cat and then rub it onto the other cat. Also stroke one cat then the other and repeat. And vice versa! Worked a treat!

My two older cats got on fine when we lived in our last house, but piss each other off every day since we’ve lived in our current home! My old lady cat has a very low tolerance for her brother’s nonsense and will smack him just for walking past, but he loves to wind her up.

We’ve just created several spaces in the house that they can choose from to avoid one another. Boy cat spends most of his time with our youngest cat, who he adores, so he leaves old lady cat alone mostly.

I think with cats a lot of it is down to scent. Way more than we humans can understand. I've had several pairs of cats, some tightly bonded and some that lived together fine but without any real affection between them and in every case its just taken time for all their scents to mingle and create a common "we-smell", at which time they always seem to accept that the other one is part of their family. Maybe an annoying part, but still their in-group. If one has been out somewhere, they always smell each other, as though to check it's really who they think it is. Sometimes it takes several weeks for the scents to really settle (as far as I, an ignorant human, can tell). Hissing is defensive: they're concerned. They don't have a settled sense of their territory and family group yet. Honestly i would back it up a bit. Separate them visually for a while. Just keep swapping their bedding and toys around. Create shared nice scents with diffusers and valerian and catnip. It's hard to be patient when we feel like progress isn't happening but IME it is, in the cat world, we just can't see it. When I've introduced two who were problematic at first, I fed them on either side of a closed door for a week. They could smell each other whilst they ate (a good experience that makes them feel at home) but they could see that no one was coming to take their food. Then I opened the door slightly and gave them high value treats whilst they could see eachother. Then I opened the door completely and gave them high value treats together. My most difficult pairing took a good 6 weeks to really be comfortable with each other, but they got there.

Our male cat hisses at his litter sister if she's had a visit to the vet. She must smell different and I suppose he doesn't recognise her.
They sort of get along. If they come face to face she will wash his face and he's likely to put his front leg over her and bite her neck. Then there's a bit of hissing and squawking. Sometimes she has her paw up ready to make a preemptive strike.
They have never cuddled up together since they were kittens.

I adopted two sisters from a big shelter.
After a year I handed one back.
Best decision I ever took.

The one I kept was happier within an hour (and had several other companion cats later in her life)
The other one was rehomed rapidly.

I have beautiful 9 month old boys who were pretty bonded when we adopted them (they're litter brothers) at 13 weeks, but have gradually grown further apart. Honestly I didn't realise beforehand that this could happen. One is a good kilo or so heavier and basically a full-grown adult in size, the other is cringing and wimpy, and the thug cat bullies the wimpy one. Not all the time but certainly they'll have an incident every day. Wimpy cat does love his bigger brother and also can be very feisty at him, sometimes initiates an ambush, etc - and at the end of the day, they're just both playing. (I can tell the difference between play-fighting and the real thing.) But poor weedy wimpy cat cries out if his huge big brother savages him too much. I have to separate them at times (they don't appreciate it).

It breaks my heart to contemplate separating them permanently (eg, rehoming one) as we love them both a great deal (how would we choose??) so I hope they can reach an entente.

Have to say, I've not found Feliway makes a difference. I've very carefully not taken them to the vet individually though, so they continue to smell the same!

Yeah, the do both wander around. One hides slightly more, but that's just her personality.

But they are both very happy!

Definitely sounds like they no longer recognise each other due to new scents. As others have said cats heavily rely on scent to recognise their mates. My older cat completely didn't recognise my younger cat after she had been in the vets for 6 hours for a procedure. It took days of growling and hissing, but he was completely back to normal with her when the scent of the vets wore off eventually. Unfortunately, as they're now in a new home, neither cat is likely to smell as they once did, so they may never recognise each other in the same way again. I'd probably try to introduce them as though you were introducing strange cats, take it slowly and go at their pace. I do disagree with what others have said about cats not liking other cats, whilst that's true for some, it's definitely not true for all, and some cats are definitely happier with some feline company.

Erm…where are the photos please??