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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

He hates me

13 replies

L00pyLou · 29/09/2024 01:14

Maybe hate is too strong a word, but this last week my previously very affectionate, loving cat wants almost nothing to do with me and it's starting to break my heart.

I was his favourite, always loved cuddles and fuss, always purred, now sits stiffly and silently when I stroke him, frequently not deigning to even accept a chin rub. Won't come to me, keeps to arms length, clearly hating it I pick him up.

Still affectionate as ever with others, eating fine, playing as normal- no indication at all that he's in pain or unwell. It's very definitely me. He does still purr & seek out head rubs & stroke maybe once every 2 days, but only when he can sit under my bed which means "don't cuddle me". Completely different with the rest of the family, seeking them out & being as cuddly as ever with them.

I don't know what I've done.

Only think I can think of is maybe I accidentally hurt him when giving daily pill? No indication at the time but I can't think of anything else at all.
I've had cats my whole life & never experienced anything like this, I've clearly broken his trust somehow and I'm so worried I can't fix things.

I'm giving him space, stopped picking him up when I realised he suddenly hated it, giving treats & trying to meet him on his terms but is there anything else I can do? I'm at sea here...

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 29/09/2024 01:20

Have you apologised? I’m not joking. My cat gets sincere apologies after holidays, treading on her tail, taking her to the vet and anything else that offends her. They know!!!

L00pyLou · 29/09/2024 01:26

Yep, apologised and talked to him several times.

He looks pissed off when I enter the room, wary when I go near him and sits like a statue I give his head or cheek a gentle stroke.

Even when he seems to be enjoying the pets, he won't purr. Unless he's safe under the bed.

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L00pyLou · 29/09/2024 01:27

And I've done things like catch his tail in the door before (his fault) and he'll run outside for half an hour and then forget all about it...This is totally different :(

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StormingNorman · 29/09/2024 01:32

Can you cook his favourite food or heat up some of his meat in the oven? He might come to associate you with the smell and come around.

It could well be something to do with being the tablet giver, and he just needs reminding that you do nice things too.

L00pyLou · 29/09/2024 01:54

I will give it a go, thank you. Tuna & cheese* it is!
He hasn't had nearly as much attention from me lately - health reasons, although that's not bothered him before, he seeks me out to make up for it usually, which is why I'm so worried.

(*tid-bits only in suitably moderate amounts)

OP posts:
urbanbuddha · 29/09/2024 02:09

Have you changed your perfume/soap/deodorant?

L00pyLou · 29/09/2024 02:14

Recently started wearing a perfume again which I haven't in a few years but not every day. Do you think the occasional day could have been enough to cause this?

Editing to say he hasn't been washing after contact

OP posts:
urbanbuddha · 29/09/2024 03:11

Yes, it could be the perfume.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 29/09/2024 09:07

Yes, it could very well be the perfume.

It could also be that the cat can smell an illness on you that he can't smell on the others.

L00pyLou · 29/09/2024 12:59

I haven't worn it in a couple of days, I'll go without it more to see if that helps. It didn't bother him before.

I'm not convinced my health is the trigger because it wasn't bothering him before, somethings happened in the week :(

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sunsetsandboardwalks · 29/09/2024 13:04

If his behaviour had changed with everyone, I'd say to get him checked by the vet, but as he's absolutely fine with everyone else I'd definitely say it's "you".

I'd bet it's the perfume but if it carries on it may be worth thinking about your health and whether everything's okay. Animals can be super sensitive to smells and can detect when we don't smell "right".

Emmanuelll · 29/09/2024 13:04

They hate tablets. We have ragdolls and one of my boys still looks worried if one person picks him up and another walks toward him.

L00pyLou · 29/09/2024 13:09

He's always been the best cat I've had with tablets, so tolerant of them - though of course he doesn't like them. It's long term so not knew, he's been having a daily one for nearly 2 years.

My health issues are also long term so again not new and he's always been pretty sensitive & sought me out to glue himself to my side when it's been bad before.

There are factors going on right now but none of them are new - he's well used to them, even the perfume I've had before.

I think I must have poked the tablet too far down the other day maybe and its broken his trust. I'm so worried I won't get it back

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