Elderly cat - how long to hold on

[Phase2]

What are people's honest thoughts? Not 'you shouldn't have a cat' or 'poor cat deserves better' etc thank you in advance. She's been adored by the boys and is now very elderly.
So - a bit unsure about sight. Still eats treats. Gave up going to the loo outside when we (leaving the adult kids) went away one weekend and has since quite quickly lost all control of bladder and bowel. Won't use an open door or cat flap and ignores the litter tray we've bought. Uses the hall.

Very tired and sleepy . Meows for treats vet says some osteoarthritis and pain. Hates the vet. We don't want to introduce a monthly visit for an injection at this stage.

Ideas? Thank you x

It sounds like it's time to let her go. She's not really eating, and not using her tray. Her quality of life is severely compromised.
The best thing you can do for her is let her go peacefully.

Better a week too soon than a day too late.

Better a week too soon than a day too late.

She’s likely in pain, that alone is enough x

When they lose control of their bladder and are crapping everywhere. Quality of life is everything in pets and it sounds as if she's miserable now.

I'm sorry man.

At the point they become incontinent. Cats are clean animals, it must be really upsetting for them.

Aw this is sad. Thank you for your honesty. I really thought I'd get the 'how can you ask about your cat being out down' stuff

It’s time. I’m so sorry.

Cats are so fastidious that being doubly incontinent must be very distressing for her. She’s very tired and already suffering some pain. It’s only going to get worse for her.

Let her drift off peacefully.

I would have to agree. Losing all control of bowls / bladder is a sign. I think it's time to do the kind thing and let her go 🩷

It's getting closer to the time for my elderly cat and I know how devastated I'm going to be so I'm sending you a big hug x

Oh no. Ok I was thinking this and then the kids are all 'but she's ok' she still likes cuddles and there are little glimpses of baby cat and teen cat, when she manages to jump up with excitement at a cushion. No idea why cushions are a thing but if you have one she has to sit on it.

Sorry sparkles you are heading here x

@Phase2 thank you xx

You have to ask yourself who you are keeping her alive for: her, or the humans?

At this stage, you're keeping her alive for the humans. She's not going to like being incontinent nor will she like being in pain.

I think because on a day to day basis she is still responsive and comes for a 'cuddle' (sitting on you and being stroked) she seems ok? It's really upset the kids to suggest and they think she's just old.

Maybe she got a fright outside and has started using the hall carpet as a litter tray because of this. Could happen at any age to any cat. They are sensitive. Mine hates me going out at all!

When you say she's doubly incontinent do you mean she goes all over the house? As in she can't help herself? Or that she keeps thinking the hall carpet is ok to use as a loo but the rest of the house is still clean?

I'd give her one last go at the vets. She could have a bladder infection or cystitis or something that could clear up with a anti inflammatory jag and a course of antibiotics.

It could be so painful that she just feels she has to push her pee or poo out now. She would be off her food if in pain. So that all ties up. UTIs are common in cats. So I'd make an appointment asap. They mask pain very well. You don't want to let her suffer.

If that doesn't work and she's over 15 I'd likely call it a day.

Oh op I do feel for you. It’s an agonising decision. We had to face it about a month ago with our 18 year old. Pp’s are right; becoming incontinent is awful for cats as their dignity and cleanliness is everything to them. When mine stopped cleaning herself I knew. It took me a while to make the decision because it feels so monumental, and like you’re playing god, but honestly as someone else said, better too early than too soon.

Mine loved to sit on a cushion too. She always wanted to be where her people were, sitting next to us on a cushion. So the kids would always put one there for her, wherever we we were. God I miss her stripey face.

If your cat is traumatised by vet visits (as mine was), you can get special end of life vet services who come out to your home. It’s very peaceful.

Someone told me it’s ‘the last act of love’ and that’s so right.

So yes mainly the hall - and thinking about it sometimes towards the cat flap. She's never been allowed upstairs (we had a new baby when she was a kitten and I have OCD so it helped with my fears around germs and smothering and downstairs has the cat flap and garden and warm areas to escape to).
That's probably good tbh, I think dh would be less sympathetic and I'd be really stressed if she was leaving stuff upstairs in beds etc.

A tiny success though - I did lots of Google after the replies and found a vet suggestion to restrict the area so shut her with food and the tray into a couple of rooms last night and blocked the cat flap and there's a little paw print and some wee in the litter tray - I angled it toward the cat flap so she'd have to be near it if she remembered about outside.

I've spoken to dh and he's weirdly less willing to talk about it but I do feel like this is coming to the end now.

She's 19 I think, she was also a little ahead of my middle one.

Op I do think that it's time to say goodbye.

It's the final act of kindness for your cat.

I have been in a similar situation and it's very hard I know.

Hmmm I wouldn't rush it and would take advice from a vet. You can get vets that do home visits (although you pay extra for this) if she doesn't like going to the vet. There's supplements you can add to food if she's got arthritis. And painkillers too if it comes to that. Have you tried a low/flat litter tray where she's going in the hall? There's quality of life scales for cats if you have a google, to give you a guide of when it's time. From what you have said, you are right to prepare yourselves as it might not be too far in the distant future. But I would try speaking to the vet and see if they recommend things to try first. In my experience, having to sadly have had to put to sleep a few cats, you know when it's time. It doesn't sound like you're sure yet.

Poor cat, it's sad as well because I think it tied to ageing and everyone growing up - you know I'd don't want to say 'we had a cat while the kids were growing up' like it's the end of an era.
I will try the vet again, I might change vets.

As a cat owner all my life ( only one 16 year old left now) I think when it's time you'll know ( or the cat will let you know)

Obviously if she starts to be in pain then decision will be made for you

Big hugs

I'm afraid it sounds like she's come to the end. The kindest thing to do would be to have her PTS.

Had cats for 42 years

It is so sad, and so hard. It's the worst thing about having pets. I think you're right to discuss again with a vet. Our vets have always given excellent advice. They have told us 'not yet but maybe soon' and what to look out for, and some things to try in the meantime. Or they have said 'it doesn't have to be today but sooner rather than later' (we pts next day, she had cancer, they confirmed it had spread and no longer treatable, it gave us time to arrange at home euthanasia) or I'm sorry, it's time right now (we knew anyway, that's why we were there). Hope your vet can help you with things that will make her a bit more comfortable to give you a bit longer.

Hello all I have an update.

We restricted the area the cat can access at night, and the kids started following her when she looked like she was heading to the hallway. They tried putting her outside but then changed to putting her in the litter tray. We also blocked the cat flap and put the litter tray near it.

Also moved her water away from her food.

She is now using the litter tray! Started with a teeny wee and then proper use.

Since blocking the cat flap to stop other cats coming in she has decided she wants to be outside so we are now on back door duty 🤦‍♀️ waiting for her to give in to the cold and come back inside.

Still sleeping a lot, and I think we are on a more dignified path to the end, sadly, but also less stressful for all of us.