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Nervous rescue kittens

13 replies

stormsandsunshine · 23/09/2024 12:49

I went to see a pair of kittens in a local rescue centre today. They are absolutely gorgeous, but quite nervous. They are around 10 weeks old and were rescued from a hoarding situation along with their mother, and until they came to the cattery had almost no human interaction.

When I first went into their pen, they both hid at the back and avoided me. By the end of my visit both of them ate in my presence, were happy to play with a ribbon toy when I swung it for them, and the more confident one let me get close enough to sniff my fingers and let me touch her on the side of her head (the shyer one came quite close to where I was but didn't want to interact with me other than playing with the ribbon). (By contrast, their more confident littermate, who has already been adopted, was throwing herself at me desperate for cuddles and attention, so my perception may be skewed by her!)

We have two children, 9 and nearly 6. The rescue lady said she thinks they'd be okay with kids as long as they understand to give the cats space to begin with and to interact through play rather than stroking. But I also don't want to offer a home where the cats won't be happy, or to get the kids cats who won't enjoy spending time with them.

My question is, have other people adopted shy kittens, and do they tend to develop into shy cats? The reason I'm a bit nervous is that some websites seem to suggest that if they've missed the early socialisation window it will be hard for them to develop that confidence.

I've had cats in the past, but not for over a decade, and the last cat was very old when he died so it's been absolutely ages since any of them were kittens. (And I don't remember any of them being particularly shy when they arrived - our last cat was a rescue but a pretty confident character.)

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stormsandsunshine · 23/09/2024 20:42

Anyone? Experience from someone who's been through similar would be v welcome.

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101Kittens · 23/09/2024 20:48

10 weeks is really young for kittens, especially ones that haven't been socialised.

We currently have two that are about 13 weeks now and have come on in leaps and bounds in the last couple of weeks from constantly hiding away to sleeping out in the open areas.

You will need to give them time to adjust when they come home but as they already react to play and there are two of them, they will become more confident. Make sure you keep them to one room to start and let them become comfortable and have lots of hiding places too.

A rescue centre is a scary environment too.

NewFelineMum · 23/09/2024 22:17

We adopted a rescue kitten and her mother 3 months ago when she was 10 weeks old. She was absolutely terrified of us and even the most innocuous household noises made her jump out of her skin. Fast forward 3 months and she loves being stroked, will sit on our laps and ‘make biscuits’ on us and is waiting for us when we get home.

I had similar fears as you that she had missed the socialisation period as she’d been living in one room with her mum and siblings with minimal human interaction but she’s become so much more confident with time and we all love her to bits!

It’s probably always a bit of a gamble as you can’t ever know for sure if they will adapt or not. Hopefully it would help that they are together and have that continuity.

Littletreefrog · 23/09/2024 22:47

It depends how calm your kids will able to be around them. The good news is they have each other. Through various unfortunate circumstances we ended up with a 6 week old kitten. Luckily our older cat was a little.motherly towards her but not much and my kids aren't really interested in animals so weren't fussing her. She is still a more nervy adult cat than any other I've ever had. Obvious not ideal and they need a home so if you think your kids will be able to understand the cats need space and calm then why not.

HelloMiffy · 23/09/2024 22:49

You need to handle them A LOT. Put gloves on if need be and ignore any hissing or spitting. They'll soon come round

Don't go all 'taking your time' as it's important you get them used to being handled asap

HelloMiffy · 23/09/2024 22:50

However if in any doubt - don't do it. Wait and find a kitten / pair who are tame and friendly and all over you. Fairer to your kids and avoids any potential disappointment

stormsandsunshine · 24/09/2024 01:27

Thank you everyone. Some useful things to think about here…

Clearly the DC would love a cuddly affectionate cat who leapt all over them from day 1, though they will be thrilled to have any cat. The 9 year old is quite a shy person herself (also wants to be a vet) and I think would take the challenge of socialising the cats seriously. It would be harder for the 5 year old, though when I managed to steer a discussion this evening round to the topic of shy pets and whether this would be disappointing, the little one surprised me by talking with pride about an experience this summer when she managed to persuade a random cat near our holiday villa to sniff her hand after days of running off in fear.

On the other hand, kittens come into rescue centres all the time, is it worth waiting and seeing who needs a home in a few weeks time? Part of the issue for me is that these ones are so damn beautiful (even by the standards of cats, who are all beautiful) - but that may be a very shallow reason to take them.

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stormsandsunshine · 28/09/2024 00:17

Just wanted to update: I went to see a different pair of rescue kittens to see if it would crystallise my thinking, and it was like chalk and cheese. The second pair were confident around people, happy to let me stroke them - one even came and sat on my lap. I think with the children in the mix, the second pair are going to be a much safer bet for our family. I have no doubt that they will enjoy living with us whereas I couldn’t get rid of that lingering anxiety about the first pair. We’ve been approved for adoption so should get the kitties soon. (And they are also gorgeous.)

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AmeliaEarache · 28/09/2024 00:30

That second pair sound a better fit. Our friends had shy, relatively low-socialised kittens and it was a good 5 or 6 months before they were properly playful with children.

The low socialised kittens are often happier in an adult household because it tends to be calmer and adults tend to be more patient about letting them develop confidence in their own time.

stormsandsunshine · 28/09/2024 07:25

That was exactly what I thought @AmeliaEarache. If it was just me I would probably take a chance on them and give them lots of patience and they might well come round in time. But I was worried the DC would have less patience and the kittens would be stressed and the DC sad. Pair 1 hadn’t met any children so it would have been a shock to them! It also turned out when I checked with the central person that they were quite a bit older than the lady in the cattery who was boarding them thought, so even more weeks of socialisation lost. It just felt like a risk for the DC and the kittens.

Pair 2 have been in foster care since they were tiny and the fosterer has done a great job with them. Also Pair 1’s mother is incredibly under-socialised and almost feral herself, whereas Pair 2’s mother is very affectionate (someone’s pet whom they inexplicably abandoned) and so I feel they have learned from her that humans are okay whereas pair 1 have learned humans are scary.

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VenusClapTrap · 28/09/2024 08:11

Congratulations on your impending arrivals op! I think this is a good decision. You just never know how it will go with shy, unsocialised kittens; they can often blossom into confident cuddle monsters, but it isn’t a given. With young kids, it’s fairer for both the kids and the cats to choose some that you already know are affectionate.

stormsandsunshine · 01/10/2024 16:14

Just wanted to update: Pair 2 are now with us. They are doing well - understandably quite nervous of the new space, and spending a lot of time hiding behind the piano where they have found a little alcove, but they are eating well and using their litter tray and starting to get more confident exploring their room.

One of them found the transition harder than the other (strangely the one who was the most confident of the litter in foster care) but even she is now coming out to play with a wand toy or take a treat.

I’m really glad we went for this pair - I think they are going to be a perfect fit for us. And I think the children would have struggled with the space the other pair would need.

Photos attached for cat tax!

Nervous rescue kittens
Nervous rescue kittens
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VenusClapTrap · 01/10/2024 19:29

Cuties!

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