My cat was killed by a car on Saturday morning. We had four cats in total and he was the third cat we got. He was 2, we’d had him since he was a baby and we all absolutely adored him.
I'm still somewhat in disbelief, I think. I keep oscillating between shock (why did it have to happen, it’s not fair) and distress (uncontrollable tears, massive lump in my throat).
We have 3 children who could not have loved him more. We picked him up from the vet today and just had a little funeral for him out in the back garden.
He was so special, just a gorgeous sweet soul. My other 3 cats are great and I love them, but he just had a way about him. He’d look deep into you eyes like he was really trying to connect. He would give nose kisses and always just collapsed in front of you, offering up his belly for a rub.
I’ve never had a cat like him, he was just wonderful. DH and I are not religious at all but we were saying it was like he was an angel who gave us so much joy for such a short time. It feels colossally unfair that he’s not here and I would give anything for him to be back with us.
I’ve not lost a cat in this way before. They’ve always died of old age, which is upsetting and there’s a grieving period but this is just horrendous. I have OCD and fixate on things, and I had a panic attack on Sunday night triggered by thinking about his last moments. (I have panic attacks semi frequently and am seeing a therapist so this was not an isolated thing!).
My children seem ok and have written him letters and cried lots, and I am not concerned about their reaction, it all seems very normal. I still feel incredibly upset, just utterly devastated and I keep thinking, he’s not here - why can’t he just come back?
I’m sorry, I think I just needed to get this all out. It’s so raw and painful 😥