Siblings - uneven balance of power and bullying!

[GlomOfNit]

We have two gorgeous boys, brothers, adopted April and now about 8 months old. They were at first quite bonded and slept very closely together (usually on top of one another) but now often prefer to sleep separately. The passive one will groom the dominant one sometimes but it's not often reciprocated . Poor Wimpy Cat.

Dominant Cat is a good kilogram heavier (Wimpy Cat is just not as keen on eating but I think also very submissive at meal times and lets his brother in first) and when they play-fight he always comes out on top. They've always done this and I know it's a normal part of kitten development, but lately it's become a bit more serious and the little one squeals and even hisses sometimes. His huge brother won't leave him alone and just follows him around, persecuting him! He does sometimes initiate a fight/play but never comes out well - he's just tiny compared with the other one. We've started separating them for a few minutes when we feel Wimpy Cat is getting bullied, but they're both sad about that.

I don't really know what to do. I haven't had two cats together before and thought - they're brothers, they love one another, it'll be dreamy. Is there anything else I can do to help Wimpy Cat? I don't want him to become entirely cowed by his swaggering bigger brother! Should I now start offering them food on different plates? Meals aren't a source of tension as far as I can see and they've always shared a plate but maybe Wimpy Cat would eat more if his brother wasn't right THERE.

(Dominant Cat is lovely with us, extremely affectionate - as is Wimpy Cat. They actually get jealous of one another and if one hears the other one purring on a lap, comes over to get some of the action.)

I have 6 cats and their is always a dominant one. I leave dry food down 24/7 and feed them wet, chicken or salmon in separate bowls. If only 4 our in I will then feed the other 2 when they appear. If the dominant one and my reserved one both want dry at same time I will make sure they both have a bowl. I would feed them separately and independently from each other for now. Do they go out? Are the neutered?

Yes, both neutered. They aren't allowed out freely yet - we take them out for quick bursts of zoomies round the garden, but they seem so young yet to be just let out on their own.

I'm going to try feeding Wimpy Cat separately but they're both grazers, so that's tricky. Definitely will use separate dishes from now on, anyway.

I'm not convinced the bullying is food-related though. Food certainly doesn't seem to be a flashpoint for it when it happens.

I'm only here for the photos!

My experience is there is always a dominant one. For me currently it's a tiny female who bosses a giant male around.

However with siblings the pattern from birth never changes and often they completely fall out in adolescence.

I had 2 girls, one always bullied the other leading to endless urinary issues. The bully died first and I swear it was the happiest day of her sister's life. She wasn't sad even for a minute and her personality blossomed.

Feliway helps a lot if it's getting too miserable.

Surely fines for non payment of dcat tax should be a real thing?

I have two cats, not related. DC1, male, is enormous, about three times the size of his little sister, and very dominant. DC2 is a wimp.
They never groom each other or play. They usually ignore each other or at most occasionally sniff at each other. They don’t sleep together but will sleep on the same double bed, usually with me in the middle.
Occasionally he jumps on her back and tries to hold her down and bite her which I think is a classic dominance thing.
DC1 scoffs all his food and DC2 is a grazer. I offer food to her close to where I’m sitting so I can guard it and shoo him away. I pick it up if it’s not eaten. Not only because DC1 is a greedy pig but because he’s supposed to be on a special urinary diet. If there is a lot left I put it in the fridge. If there’s only a bit left I often allow him to finish it off.
Most of the time DC2 dominated Ddog, while DC2 spent a lot of time upstairs. I think both were delighted when Ddog died earlier this year and DC2 has come out of her shell a lot.
Both would probably be happier as only cats to be honest but at least they tolerate each other fairly well.

(Apart from the feeding separately I don’t have any real advice.
I’ve accepted they’re never going to be besties…)

I have siblings, boy and girl cats. The boy is enormous while girl cat is tiny. So complete opposites sizes and poor girl cat really has it hard with her brother. However, as much as she screams and squeals, it's him that has regular cut ears, or a sliced open chin so she can definitely handle herself. They do actually get on very well but he just takes it too far with the rough and tumble. He practically drop kicked her earlier, the noise she made was something else then the next thing they're cleaning each others faces.

Oh should have said definitely try feeding separately. Girl cat gets her food first, up high. By time I've dished up the other bowl, she's had a good chance at eating before he tries and steals it.

We have two from the same litter a huge fluffy boy at 4.5kg and his sister smooth haired and sleek at 3.2kg, she is definitely the boss and much smarter than him, they are indoor cats with a catio but he would absolutely need her to hunt for him in the wild.
She acts submissive during play fights but honestly I think she just feels sorry for him as he really is ( kindly ) quite pathetic 😂
I only separate them or interrupt if they start growling, otherwise it's all fair game to me.

Definitely start feeding them separately - each cat should have the chance to eat without feeling harassed or bullied or scared.

If they're grazers then you can buy microchip feeders so they only have access to their own food.

We have three cats and in my experience there is always a dominant one. I would also start letting them go outside as that also seems to relieve a lot of the tension indoors.

I would strongly recommend microchip feeders. You only need one for the bullied cat.

Yours also sound more than ready to go outside. They can then have separate territories outside and enjoy themselves.

As others have said, definitely feed them separately (separate bowels, ideally in different rooms or try microchip feeders so they can come and go as they please www.cats.org.uk/shop/other-ways-to-help/surepetcare ). Cats Protection also advise 1 litter tray for each cat plus a spare. If they don't have to compete for those, it might help.

We have two boys that are nearly 2, they still fight a fair bit but it’s mostly high jinks. Some days they’re best mates and sometimes they give each other a wide berth. Our bigger cat can be a bit of a bully but our smaller cat loves to start a rumble for the fun of it which doesn’t help.

If it gets out of hand, we separate them for 5 or 10 minutes when this happens so they can calm down and give them both a fuss individually. We have feliways plugged in at flash points (hallways).

To help them feel more secure, weve got two of everything - litter trays, scratching pads, cat beds, etc. We also have separate bowls and we supervise when we put wet food down so our bigger cat doesn’t eat his brothers too (we’re trying our best to manage his weight but he’s resistant).

oh god, very well! This is totally outing, I post virtually NOTHING on my FB apart from the bloody cats! Please to excuse the appallingly messy bedroom background.

Taken today, and perfectly encapsulates their relationship. Big Boy is the Boss: Wimpy Cat is his bitch basically. They've been ok today actually - I think some fresh air exercise helped. We took them out for 20 minutes of crazy running around the garden in the rain, which they were comically bewildered by. They're getting much harder to catch.