Heart is breaking

[Milinane]

Our sweet cat is 10. We have had her and her brother since they were five months old, they are rescues. She was deemed semi-feral when we got her and wouldn't let us anywhere near her (the vet couldn't even vaccinate her) and all these years later she jumps onto my lap for cuddles. It is absolutely amazing.

She has always been healthy, never sick in her life then all of a sudden ten days ago she became critically ill almost from one day to the next. She was at the vets all day every day for five days on fluids, had loads of tests and the upshot is that she has exocrine pancreatic insufficiency. She has apparently had it for some time and hid it from us. She because so ill because she got a rare beastly bacterial infection in her gut on top of the untreated gastroinstestinal disease and wasn't able to fight it off because of her compromised immunity.

Last week was hell and she very nearly died but then turned a corner and is now doing so much better which was such a huge relief EXCEPT that she now has faecal incontinence. So we are now in a new horrible phase of how to face the future. I am absolutely devastated - it has been such a rollercoaster, I was desperate for her to be okay and now she is okay and yet I know that we can't live like this - not her, not us. She is confined to a small room and that is not sustainable.

I am totally in pieces. I don't want to put her to sleep but I don't see another way forward. I can't stop crying. Not getting any work done. Or anything done really. Feel deep in crisis. I feel such a bond with her. I'd be grateful for any words of wisdom.

Aw I’m so sorry. I don’t have any words of wisdom but just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you, this must be horrendous. My little black cat is 7 and the thought of anything happening to her breaks my heart, so I can’t imagine what you’re going through.
Sending so much love and strength!

so sorry- whatever you decide will come from love

I've seen paralysed cats wearing cat diapers online. Please look into this, I hope you can make it work.

Thank you for this, it means a lot.

That’s such a lovely thought. I’m holding onto it. Much appreciated.

I googled what this poor cat has- it says a large volume of loose, malodorous stools-

This is no way for an animal to live wearing a nappy.

It’s just not fair on them to need daily washing.

It’s not going to be fun for the poor cat .

What quality of life is that for any furred animal?

@Milinane What a sad situation.

Agree with others- Quality of life is so important for an animal.

Xx

We saw the vet last night and he told us that there is nothing to be done for the incontinence - it's nerve damage. We've decided to have her put to sleep today. There is no good decision here. We have grappled with waiting another week but the thing is that we want to remember her how she was and not extend this horrible period any further.

The cruel aspect (for all of us!) is that she is doing SO much better - last week she was on death's door and now she is a different cat yet she is still confined to a small room because she can't control her bowels. It's devastating that we got through the crisis of last week when I lay on the floor through the night stroking her while she lay dying next to me and pleaded with her to pull through and now we find ourselves making that judgment call that leads to her dying anyway.

I haven't experienced having a pet put to sleep before. I feel utterly bereft.

Thank you for responding.

Oh you poor thing and poor kitty. If it helps, you're doing the very best kindest thing. I promise. Cats are very proud and dignified animals so wouldn't like the alternative.

Just get through the day, try and be as calm as you're able through the process. My cousin got pawprints and a little tuft of hair from one of her cats. It's going to be a tough day but honestly you're doing the right thing. Much love, from one crazy cat lady to another 🐾 😻💖🐈

I'm so so sorry, she sounds like a wonderful little cat and this must have all been a terrible shock. You have done a brilliant job being her owner, and you are still being brilliant because you are making this hard decision as you know it's best for her. A cat would not want to live like this.

Sending you so much love. I don't know if you believe in the afterlife, but to some people it's a comfort to think that one day when you pass away, you'll see your little furry friend again ❤️.

@TruthThatsHardAsSteel and @tortietimestwo thank you so much for your kind words and love. I greatly appreciate it. Having to be strong now.

Oh OP, this is so very sad. We had our darling ten year old girl PTS earlier this year, and I understand the feeling of grappling with when - in our case she appeared "well" but had been diagnosed with aggressive large cell intestinal lymphoma which had a very poor prognosis. We were offered chemo which would have extended her life for a short time but not saved it. Like you we wanted to remember her as the happy, funny, chonky girl she was - not see her get thin and sad and stressed being carted back and forth to the vet, then have to be PTS anyway, possibly in a crisis situation.

It was the hardest thing I have ever done, and I am still completely heartbroken and miss her every day. But I am also confident we did the best thing for our best girl, at the right time, even though it was the very worst thing too.

Per PP I had the vet take her pawprints, and I actually got one tattooed a few weeks later. We had a private cremation and have her ashes in an urn on the hearth, along with a framed photo of her. We miss her so very much. We adopted a wee ginger boy shortly after and he is a little thug but also an absolute joy - I tell him she is keeping an eye on him while he causes havoc.

I will be thinking of you and your pusscat today. <3

So sorry to hear this. I think you are doing to right thing for your beloved cat. Please focus on the good years and cuddle her brother

So sorry @Milinane , you have given her a final gift of kindness, be kind to yourself also.
I saw this posted on another thread so time ago, I hope it helps:
The Last Battle
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this — the last battle — can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close — we two — these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
— Unknown

I hope this poem helps - it did me although still makes me cry

The Last Battle
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this — the last battle — can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close — we two — these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
— Unknown

@Milinane You did absolutely the right thing by your beloved Cat.

A life in nappies for a proud Cat is no life at all.
Cats are naturally very clean animals, if she couldn’t even make it to her litter Tray it would cause her distress.
Nappies on a Cat is not a life ant Cat would want.

It’s tough making the decision to have a beloved pet PTS-
But it was kinder to her.

Hopefully she will be waiting for you in the Afterlife.
Unscientific- but who knows!

The practicalities of this from an animal welfare point of view aren’t good.

An animal rescue is very anti this as it’s more about the human not being able to cope without their animal than the animals themselves.

Urine scald, the burning from waste held in fur several times a day? The bathing several times a day whenever the pet wees or poos?

What animal would choose that?

Edited to say The OP has definitely considered the welfare of her Cat here.

There's a lady on insta who shares what it's like caring for a special needs cat, including incontinence.

Cappy something? I'll see if I can find the link. There might be helpful videos for you there.

www.instagram.com/cappybears?igsh=cThrMHRwdTFvamsz

“Special needs??”
What the actual heck- Anthropomorphism at it’s worst.

It’s cruelty keeping a proud very clean species in nappies for the rest of it’s like a baby that will never grow up.

It’s more about the human getting “ likes” on social media than the animal’s welfare.

It’s all about the human- Not about the animal when it comes to nappies on proud independent species like cats.

Perhaps it is about social media likes. I wouldn't like to guess.

What is amazing though is the way she cares for her moggie.

If the cat was living in the wild he wouldn't necessarily die from his condition so it's not about keeping a cat alive that would (without human intervention) die.

So her care for the cat improves the cat's quality of life.

I used "special needs" not to be an anthropomorphism but as short hand for the cat's condition.

Snap, @Parker231 !
Made me cry too, it's heart-rending yet lovely, I hope OP finds it comforting too

Thank you very much @Breadcat24 for your thoughts. I just had a good cuddle with him.

@Judystilldreamsofhorses thank you so much for sharing the story of your dear girl, it was a comfort to me today, not least to know that the joy brought by your ginger boy tempers that heartache. These are life's tough moments. I so appreciate your thoughts.

Had similar with a cat and Panacur fixed it. Every other test run to the cost of 8000 pounds.

I'm sorry. I see you decided what to do x