My cat died last week, I don't remember it being this hard

[xxSideshowAuntSallyxx]

My cat died last week, it was sudden and unexpected so I didn't have a chance to prepare. My heart is broken.

I didn't think it would be this hard. The feelings of emptiness come in waves. One minute I'm fine the next I'm crying. I'm dreading my drive to the office tomorrow as it's an hour there and 2 hours back with just my thoughts and the motorway.

I found her page on the RSPCA website and I've just cried. I got her with her sister 9 years ago. And from the moment I bought her home she was stuck to me like glue, more so since her sister died 3 years ago. She used to sleep on the floor next to my desk or under my desk in the study whilst I was working. I can't work in there at the moment, it feels so lonely, empty and isolating.

I saw the neighbour look for her this morning as he went off to work. She used to sleep in the bush, when he couldn't see her I saw him glance into my flat. That set me off too.

I have her brother, who I got 2.5 years ago, but he's hiding away and won't come out during the day. I know he misses her. He keeps looking for her, and he's coming in at night without a fuss.

Work have been brilliant, my boss gave me time off last week, said I didn't need to work and if I need to take some time out to just do it.

I keep looking at other rescue cats, seeing ones that would be ideal but then I think it's too soon. There's a little kitten that needs a surrogate mum or Dad that would be perfect. But it feels like I'm replacing her before she's even cold.

I miss her company, it's so quiet and that's what I'm struggling with too.

I totally get it OP. I lost two of mine in six months. With the first one, I knew about my next cat, as soon as I told the rescue That Magic had died. Each time I've found it really helped, to know there was another. Cat on the way. Each time, I've felt that my late cat has sent the next one. They all just seem like fate. Silly as that sounds. It does get better.

Don't worry about feeling it's too soon, if it's right for you
I absolutely adored my cat but I had all this love and grief to pour into another, so I adopted 3 days later
It was right for me, and he's perfect

sorry for your sadness sounds like she was loved

I’m so sorry. They break your heart every time. And when it’s out of the blue it is such a terrible shock.

Be kind to yourself. Do what works for you. She isn’t replaceable but you have an empty space and there are far too many cats in need of a home.

Thanks everyone, sorry for not replying sooner, busy day yesterday.

The kitten I had seen has been reserved so obviously wasn't meant to be.

I got some photos of my cat yesterday, so will get some frames and put one in the study. Hopefully it won't feel so empty with her face looking at me when I'm working (silly as that sounds).

Sorry OP. I felt exactly the same when our cat died unexpectedly last year. I was totally bowled over by grief. I wasn't expecting it to hit me so hard.

I'm so sorry OP. Your feelings are normal. I was heartbroken when I lost my cat. You've absolutely lost one of the family. In time you'll take comfort from the fact she was so loved.

Thanks both. It's awfully quiet today(but it seems to be in general today), but her brother has finally come out if his hidey hole this afternoon and has sat himself on the sofa.