Heartbreaking news about my cat

[cherryblossomspring]

A few days ago I received some heartbreaking news about our much loved family cat. She is 12 and we adopted her just under 2 years ago after her elderly owners passed away.

A few weeks ago she began drooling excessively and had a runny eye. We took her to the vets twice where they diagnosed an infected tooth root, gave her antibiotics and said to bring her back to check on it. We did that and although it had cleared up a bit, the root was still looking inflamed and there was slight drooling and still a runny eye.

The vet gave her a general anaesthetic to investigate. I was expecting she’d need the root extracted (she has poor dental health and not many teeth left anyway). What the vet phoned to say was a huge shock. The vet thinks she has a mass in her mouth that he is 95% sure it is an oral cancer. He said it had started to eat away at her upper palate. He said he could take a biopsy to check but he wanted to put her to sleep. I asked him not to and to take the biopsy. We’re waiting on the result now.

I spent all the evening crying. When I brought her home, she was her normal lovely self. Meowing for her food, snoozing in her favourite spots, purring on my lap on the sofa. She doesn’t seem in pain at all and looking at her, I can’t accept that she’s dying. The vet says she will be lucky if she lives for two weeks more.

I am devastated because I love her so much. She really is part of our family and I don’t feel ready to let her go when she seems so bright and happy. I am praying the vet was wrong but he seemed very adamant and said that he’s seen this happen in other cats and that the mass could well triple in size. Can vets diagnose mouth cancer by sight or could the biopsy show something different?

Just feel so sad. I imagined many more years with her.

I'm so sorry to hear this, what a terrible shock.

You could ask for a second opinion, but, I say this gently, the vet is likely correct. I agree with you to take this little bit of time with her to say proper goodbyes and have the best few days you can.

You have done such a wonderful thing giving her a lovely life when she needed a new home. Take care of her and you.

I'm so sorry to hear this, OP. Regardless of what is wrong, I think you should concentrate on making the most of the time you have left together. If she is behaving normally, with no signs of pain, I don't think you should have her PTS - you will know when it is time to let her go

I had the same with my beloved boy.
He was 10 and a bit feisty. They thought he had a problem with his teeth so they gave him a general anaesthetic. While he was under they phoned to say he had a mass at the back of his mouth. I was absolutely devastated but I asked them to euthanise him there and then because I didn't want him to suffer anymore

OP, I'm so sorry for your news. Our old boy cat had this and we had him PTS more or less immediately. I know that cats will hide their pain until they're so miserable with it that they can no longer hide it, and I didn't want that for our beloved mog. (We left it too long with our old girl cat, who had an abdominal mass, and I won't make that mistake again.)

Very sorry OP, the pending and subsequent loss of a loved family member can be very painful.
Do think about the quality of life and have some comfort that it has been caught when it has, so there is no delay when the time comes.
My parents had 2 cats with the same in their lifetime- one only got picked up when he was struggling to eat and lost weight ( I remember as a child trying to feed him
and the food kept falling out of his mouth) and the other started to have matted chest fur as she couldn’t clean her self properly with her tongue . Both were put to sleep but sadly it could have been done a bit sooner had it been picked up.

@cherryblossomspring remember that the treatment can be grilling and you have to decide whether it's fair to put her through it when she won't understand what's going on. So sad for you.😢

We had a similar situation earlier this year with our lovely girl. We’d had her back and forth a few times for vomiting but the vet was never concerned, all bloods tip-top, but when it started to get more frequent I pushed for further tests. £3,000 later and actually she had a massive intestinal lymphoma. It was so hard to take in, because she was racing around chasing mice, eating like a horse, and hadn’t lost any weight - looking at her you would never have guessed she had anything wrong, and she was only ten.

We were given treatment options, but they were essentially rearranging furniture in a burning house, and even with a gruelling chemo regime we were looking at a possible 12 months with her. I’m crying typing this, but we opted to let her go “well” rather than put her through treatment she would have found really distressing. I think my DP would have done it if I’m honest, but I couldn’t stand the thought of her suffering and becoming frail - plus he works away abroad a lot and I was worried about having to make a midnight dash to out of hours and make a horrible decision on my own. I think we did the right thing by her, but it broke my heart and I miss her so very much.

Sending love to you and your puss, OP. We adopted a little boy from CP indecently quickly after she left, and he’s really helped fill the hole in the house and in my heart. 🤍🧡

Please try and take comfort in that you have notice and some time.

I took mine in as she wasn't eating as much and otherwise seemed okay. After a few hours on oxygen as they tried to calm her to take blood the end result was I had to let her go.

It is awful but we owe it to them for all the love they give us to let them go when it is their time. Mine definitely was saying let me go and thank you 💔

I know of 3 that have had this sadly, they go very quickly and it’s not pleasant if left too late.

I’m so sorry. You need to say goodbye and let her go I’m afraid.

I feel for you OP.

This time last week our lovely cat old girl was living her best life, snoozing in the sun, teasing the dog pestering us for treats, last Saturday she jumped onto the kitchen island to get at the roast chicken!

On Monday her eye was a bit swollen, Tuesday we took her to the vet expecting to be sent home with antibiotic eye drops. It turned out she had a tooth abscess which was causing the eye inflammation. Blood tests also showed kidney disease, but not very severe, given her age. Initially I thought ok, fix the tooth everything will be ok. But the vet thought the extraction of the tooth and treatment for the infection would be too much for her, with the general anaesthetic and long recovery time, and vet recommended that we put her to sleep. I still can't believe it.

I had to call dh, and 2 of my dc, 2 were away. We were able to hold her and even though she was sedated she opened her eyes when we talked to her. It was so awful, we are all still in shock, dd and I find ourselves bursting into tears when we think k of her. Our only consolation is that she didn't suffer, or not for long at least. I can't help thinking that maybe I should have been taking her for more regular check ups and they might have been able to prevent the tooth infection, but she was so lively and appeared so well. But really there's no point in thinking that way.

Could you get a second opinion just to put your mind at rest? If the second vet agrees then at least you have a bit of time to prepare yourselves.

Wishing you the best x

Thanks for your replies. For those of you who have been through similar, I’m so sorry 💐 it’s so sad to lose a cat like this.

The vet didn’t offer any treatment. He just said to monitor her quality of life and to bring her in if she stops eating 😔 at the moment she is still eating well and asking for food like she always does. She was even trying to drink a McDonald’s milkshake yesterday!

I can’t imagine life without her. She wakes me up every morning for her breakfast and jumps into my arms for a cuddle. The house is full of her things, she really is so important for us. If the result does turn out to be that she’s terminal, I will spend every moment I can with her.

I had exactly the same cancer with our cat. The vet just said he'd have a month at most and I'd know when to bring him back. I did ask if I should put to sleep but vet said not at the moment. I did know when the time was right. He was fine for a month you wouldn't have thought there was anything wrong with him. One morning he was just listless and poorly and I just knew. Vet was lovely and said to bring him down before opening so he wouldn't have to listen to loud dogs etc. Obviously we were all heartbroken but 10 years later I think of him fondly. My adult daughter still sends a photo of him to me on national cat day. You'll know when you need to let her go. x

The vet called with the biopsy results and it is cancer 💔 he predicts she won’t live for more than three months but it may be less. At the moment she is still enjoying her life. She’s eating well, cleaning herself and snoozing on the windowsill. Feel so sad because she is a lovely cat and deserves more time. But I am taking comfort in the fact that she’s had a very happy couple of years with us.

I'm sorry to read this. My cat lived with cancer for nine months but tbh the vet put her to sleep a day too late. I'll never forgive myself that. With my second cat she was put to sleep the day we found out. A huge shock but the process was 100% better for RainbowCat and me. Her cancer was so fast growing it was a shock to us all. We didn't even know it was there.

We had to put a much loved cat to sleep when he had oral cancer. Like your girl, he had started dribbling, and he also found it difficult to eat. He started drinking milk and I’d have to mash up his food before he would sort of lick it. I brought him to the vet, and they did a lot of blood tests, and sent us home with some medication. Cat didn’t really recover, and I had to go back a couple of times with him. Eventually they put him under to examine his mouth properly. They should have done that first as he wasn’t really eating. I’d be more insistent if ever in a situation like that again. They phoned me to say he had a tumour. It turned out to be cancer.

I brought him home, with steroids. He perked up with those, but it was only biding time while we processed what was happening. He’d follow me slowly everywhere in the house. I knew he had to be put out of his misery, so we had a big goodbye and I brought him to the vet early one morning. It is hard to get your head around it. I had thought it was his teeth. I don’t think he suffered any more as he had been on the steroids, and it wasn’t too long after diagnosis before we had him put to sleep.

Your cat is much loved. There is a lot of comfort to be had from that.

It's years since I've had a cat but saw this thread in active

The vet is unlikely to be wrong in prognosis. Spoil her rotten, give her all the milkshakes and other treats she wants.

Yes, your heart will break into smithereens. But you can make the last days as comforting as possible.

Just remember - better a week too soon than a day too late. She won't know what's happening when the end comes. It's far worse for you than it will be for her. It's your final act of care and kindness.

I'm welling up a bit typing that. It's the most awful time and you have both anticipatory grief and actual bereavement to deal with. But your darling cat could have all the best treats, then just slip away before anything hurts or scares her.

Thanks for all your kind words and for sharing your stories about your lovely cats. It makes me feel less alone to know someone else has gone through the same thing.

You’re right about the anticipatory grief. She is still here but I am very tearful and sad. Our family call her an emotional support animal as a joke, because she’s so sensitive to people’s feelings and will sit on their lap and purr if they are feeling down.

I will monitor her condition day by day and when she is struggling to eat or looks like she’s suffering, I’ll take her to the vet and say goodbye. It’s so hard to even think about that. But I don’t want her to be in pain so I will try to think of it as my final act of love like some of you have suggested 💕

So sorry @cherryblossomspring, what sad news💐
Love every day you have with her, and when it's time, you and your family can let her go knowing she has had her best life, and been truly loved, and you are in the privileged position of being able to give her a dignified, kind passing ❤️

I’m sorry to hear this OP. I hope you get to have some special time with her.

I hope your dcat has a lovely last summer op. Our 2 are happiest sunbathing in the back garden or on the trampoline! Can we see a pic?

Of course @Sunshineafterthehail
Here are some pics of her sunbathing in the garden, one of her favourite activities.

What a little beauty 😻

Oo a beauty! Betting she is feisty? Enjoy every moment op.

She actually isn’t feisty at all 😂 think the tortitude trait skipped her. The vet staff always comment on how calm and good she is (probably a nice surprise for them!)

Sorry to hear your cat has cancer, I lost my 13 year old cat to mouth cancer and still remember the day we had to let him go but he had stopped eating and we knew it was time. Bless you and your gorgeous pussy cat.