My ywo cats hate each other!

[janeandmarysmum]

Hi
We've had Jane and Mary for about 4 years now - both rescues. Jane was Mary's mum, and I thought that might mean they got on - they don't, they hate each other. Mostly they stay away from each other but when they do meet they will attack - both are as bad as each other. This isn't playful behaviour - yesterday Mary stalked Jane and eventually pounced, knocking Jane against the greenhouse very violently (it's a good job our greenhouse is glazed with toughened glass). Both are sweet on their own - they are torties, although very different, Jane is a chubby moggy whereas I think Mary's dad was a panther. It's getting worse and I hate seeing them behave so aggressively. We've tried Feliway - didn't do much. Thanks for any advice.

You can't force them to get along. If they're still in danger of injuring each other after 4 years, I'd be thinking about rehoming one of them.

Thanks. We are their 4th home - rehoming is a very last resort.

That's tortitude for you! Can you separate them?

I have 2 rescue tortie and whites and they just don't get on. I have had them 2 years. The younger one is obsessed with the older one, and the older one just seems to hate cats! We got another one 6 months ago, a big laid-back boy. He and younger girl love each other, playfight and groom the other. Oldest one hates him too! He sooo just wants to be friends with her!

So younger two are downstairs and elder one takes herself off upstairs, and is as happy as larry by herself (so long as there's humans around to cater to her every whim!)

"Can you separate them?"

Thanks - yes we've a big house and garden.

Split them up and re-home one of them.

Keeping them together is not fair.

re-home one of them

It's as if there are queues of people at rehoming centres wanting to adopt a middle aged cat (hint - there aren't).

We're not going to rehome.

Feliway is the answer, hopefully they respond to it.

Why ask for advice if you're just going to be sarcastic? 🙃

I personally think it's unkind to keep two cats who fight in the same home - that doesn't mean dumping one in rescue, but making a long-term plan to find one of them a more suitable home 🤷‍♀️

Two female cats, who have lived together for 4 years and don't get on, might mellow with age or they might always fight. Which will be more of an issue as Mum cat gets older.
I have 3 cats that have some issues with each other. 2 sisters and another female cat.
They're lived together nearly 5 years now and aren't friends but live in peace.
Mine are receptive to Feliway which helps.
I do enforce a certain amount of separation though and shut the sisters elsewhere overnight so my other cat gets at least 10 hours daily without them around. This seems to work for them.

Apparently multiple females are the worst combination too - not sure how accurate the research is but it's similar with dogs too.

I'd already said we won't be rehoming (but perhaps yoou are one of those posters who doesn't read previous posts in a thread? In which case - apologies). To suggest giving up one of our much loved cats (which one??) isn't helpful. I asked for - and received - some useful advice about how to deal with them and am grateful for that.

Thanks for this!

You originally said re-homing was a last resort, not that it wasn't an option at all 🙈.

So maybe you should be the one to apologise?

Unfortunately, this can be the case for mother daughter cats. As long as both of the cats have their own space in the house that's all you can do really, they will mostly avoid each other and have the occasional spat which sounds like is what is already happening. As long as neither of them seem stressed generally I think it's okay. Some cats just hate living with other cats.

Glad to hear you won't rehome.

Maybe make sure that you keep their food/water bowls and litter tray in completely different locations and make sure they sleep in different part of the house at night, so they don't feel they have to compete for anything and keep using the calming scents diffusers.

Cats usually calm down/sleep more with age so they might also naturally lose their energy to fight each other!

I have a Tortie too so I know how what they can be like.

Mine loves the neighbour's boy cat and he has pretty much moved into our house/garden as his second home as they get on so well so I am lucky that she is not fighting other cats at the moment.

I also understand how hard it is to consider rehoming but ultimately you have to think about what's right for your cats, not you.

'@fieldsofbutterflies · Today 09:10
I also understand how hard it is to consider rehoming but ultimately you have to think about what's right for your cats, not you.'

These comments are really not helping the OP.

She has made it clear that is not on the cards and it would not be that simple anyway: older cats that don't get on with other animals will always be harder to rehome and if these cats have already gone through several homes some behavioural problems might simply repeat themselves in yet another household.

So I think it is good of the OP to want to find ways to make them at least tolerate themselves and keep them in their current home, especially if that home and garden are big enough for the cats to have lots of space to avoid each other.

It is difficult when cats fight - we have three who started scrapping a little when the youngest became an adult and it was pretty stressful for a while. I even had our oldest at the vets as I was worried he was really unwell - his behaviour had changed almost overnight.

Our vet basically told us that they need to go outside if we want to stand any chance of keeping them all. Most houses just aren't big enough for multiple cats to happily share resources unfortunately.

Unfortunately females together can be a nightmare and torties are super fiesty. I’ve been there although my two females (one a tortie) weren’t related but they hated each other. We had ten years of them avoiding each other or fighting. I can only recommend keeping them as separate as you can, food and litter trays in different places and lots of accessible rooms and the garden so they can avoid each other.

I'd check out the guy from My Cat From Hell. He's a cat behaviourist and comes up with some good solutions for different conflicts. I believe he's on YouTube as well.

Cats are territorial, they have their 'home' territory where they eat and poo and then a larger territory.

They actually 'time share' *(if you get cats in your garden it might be a ginger first thing and then a black and white etc, not at the same time.) the larger territory and if a cat has to cross another cat's territory when it is not their time they will use a certain route used by other cats, preferably up high. This is why you see them doing the uppy downy walk on fences.

You need to try to create some up space as well as some down space in your home and garden.

Feed them is seperate places. Make a 'walkway' with furniture, low bookshelves can work well. In the garden a bench can work.

They will probably never love each other but they can learn to tolerate each other.

@efrenboyer that's great but will the cats love each other FFS

Can they be near each other at all?

I have 4 cats. One is 16 and gets on with anyone.

One is 9 and moved out into a neighbouring garden and visits us. We have joint custody now. They feed him we take him the vets

One is 12 and a rescue we've had for 2 years. She's very timid. Spends all her time in her bed onto of the utility cabinets.

One is 4 and a nutter. She and the rescue don't get on. They hiss and spat and chase each other, but they will eat their tea together on the countertop as long as my old boy is between them