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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

New Cat woes

13 replies

BiPolarBabe · 28/06/2024 18:48

I'm really in need of some advice. We adopted a 1yr old Maine Coon cross from a friend of ours. It used to belong to their mum but due to mental health reasons she wasn't properly socialised as a kitten. Has been in a house with 5 other cats and two people so has been around others. We were told that she's a bit shy but would probably come out of her shell when there weren't other cats around as apparently she was affectionate when on her own.

So we knew it wouldn't be totally straightforward. But I've never known a cat like it. Seems to totally disdain humans. Doesn't want to be petted. Totally not interested in food. So dreamies etc are out. Doesn't play, isn't interested in toys or laser pointers or anything. Had partial success with a catnip banana but that's the only thing she will interact with. Ignores the cat igloos, cat tree and other things we've bought so she could hide, scratch etc. Prefers to hide behind the TV stand.

Had to take her to the vets to be microchipped. Prior to this she was beginning to settle in a bit, ignoring us but would eat, groom and generally seemed to be settling in.

After coming home from the vets she's back to hiding in the smallest spaces possible and has now started hissing and growling at us.

I know it takes time but it seems such a shame that it appears that all our work has been undone and we're back to (or further back than) square one.

Does anyone have any advice on dealing with a very unsettled and badly socialised one year old?

OP posts:
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Toddlerteaplease · 28/06/2024 19:59

Time and patience. Rinse and repeat.

HeapsOfStuff · 28/06/2024 20:38

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

socialdilemmawhattodo · 28/06/2024 20:40

Rescues are tricky. I rescue Siamese. Our current pairing of non-related m/f is tricky. F was food starved and even 2 years on that dominates her thinking all day. She was also abused (we believe) and clearly my son reminds her of her previous owner. Although he feeds her every day she is still terrified of him. She adores me though! We are away at the moment and a lovely cat loving neighbour is cat-sitting. She is convinced she can convince F to be friends! Not sure, but the extra pouches and cheese dreamies might help a little!

JennyWI · 28/06/2024 20:49

I had this cat!! So ymmv but what worked for me was sitting a nice distance from her spot and reading, anything really that has predictable movement. I would talk, about anything, my day whatever or just read to her from my book. It allowed her to associate my voice with calm. I would completely ignore her unless I had to move then I would tell her what I was doing. Rinse and repeat. Took like 2 weeks for her to start comming out and sniffing around ( and I still ignored her) after about 5 weeks she started sniffing me and after week 6 she was demanding attention. Also not food or play motivated so it was super hard to bond. She's now been in our house for 5 years and often sleeps in the living room but still near enough to hide if she needs to. Also still hates cat trees, heights, vets and all men ( except my hubby

BiPolarBabe · 29/06/2024 19:32

Thanks everyone. Just gonna keep going and hope she eventually settles and stops hating everyone.

OP posts:
CheeseyOnionPie · 29/06/2024 19:59

Play with him every day before meal times. Look at Jackson Galaxy’s videos on YouTube about the importance of playing with your cat. Doing it in a routine daily will make her feel secure in her new territory and help her relax.

BiPolarBabe · 29/06/2024 20:00

We've been trying but she doesn't really want to play.
Jackson Galaxy has featured heavily on our playlists on YouTube this week

OP posts:
Judystilldreamsofhorses · 30/06/2024 00:01

We had a behind-the-TV-stand-hisser! Coming up to the three month mark now, and he’s the best boy. Every week we saw a change in him and we just rolled with it.

Our fella is 18 months old and had gone from being found living in a shed, taken in by the lady who found him and another sibling kitten, given to CP and placed in foster care, to here - wee soul had had so much disruption but I hope now he knows he’s finally home. He dances!

New Cat woes
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New Cat woes
New Cat woes
New Cat woes
Canthave2manycats · 30/06/2024 01:13

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at OP's request.

Is Pet Remedy better than Feliway? Feliway did nothing for ours. Our first girl hates both our other two!

Canthave2manycats · 30/06/2024 01:23

I think time will make this better.

I adopted a Maine Coon/Ragdoll cross boy nearly 6 months ago, and was told he was shy! He wasn't a bit shy with us but it did take him some time to come out of himself and show us his true personality.

He's our third rescue, and #1 a tortie and white girl hates all cats!! #2 is a long-haired tortie and white with some Maine Coon (has the ruff and the tufted toes) and initially she growled at him every time he came near her but when she realised he would back down, and wasn't a threat, they've become best buddies and have such fun together!

Our newest boy was one of 6 cats too. His human sadly died. He was used to being fed with the other 5 and as the youngest, he got least of the food. He's put on over a kg since he's been with us and had his own feeding station.

HeapsOfStuff · 10/07/2024 12:53

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

Toddlerteaplease · 10/07/2024 13:06

I have found feliway friends much more effective than feliway optimum.

AnnaMagnani · 10/07/2024 13:16

I have never found Feliway Friends useful but had a lot of success with the standard one. Also no joy with Pet Rescue.

It is hit and miss whether your cat is a responder or not.

I'm now allergic to the diffusers so have tried the Comfort Zone Pheromone Collar which works wonders on my nervy cat.

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