Might my cat need a buddy? Or is he too intense?!

[pilo7]

Got a rescue cat a few months ago. He's aged 2-4 (no one is sure, but we think on the young side) and is absolutely lovely. Settled in beautifully, very happy.

He's still very kittenish and playful. There are lots of other cats around, and we've noticed that he's very keen on them all. When he sees another cat in the garden, he'll follow (not chase) it and try to instigate play. Never any aggressive body language from either cat, but the other cats generally trot away quite quickly.

We wonder if he'd love another cat to play and bond with. We have the space, inside and out, for two.

But the thing is, we were told that the reason he needed a new home was because he was originally a stray and a lady the other side of town had taken him in – but after a few months, her existing cat took a strong dislike to him.

Could he be a bit intense for other cats?! We think he was an indoor cat before, and the house was small, so it could be the two of them didn't have enough space.

Wondering if anyone has advice, or could suggest what age/temperament of cat would work.

We've always had success introducing male kittens to male adults. We currently have three boys - they go outside and get on really well.

I would say to give it a go. Kittens are much easier to introduce than adults.

Thank you! That's good to know. Our local shelters are struggling right now with lots of kittens that need to go in pairs or singly to a home with an older cat. Though I definitely want more time to consider it.

No problem! Ours are now 8, 4 and 1 - the youngest two are absolute best friends, they get on so well and it's brought the 4yo so much confidence.

Our 8yo is a rescue and a bit of a grumpy boy but even he likes the young one and I actually caught them play fighting the other day - though he quickly got up and pretended it never happened 😂

I would you need to chat to a rescue! We have a boy who had always been a solo cat but had some “odd” behaviours- he was a biter and genuinely thought he was my husband’s kitten- trying to wash him and sleep cuddled up with him! He had no idea how to play which is really important for an FIV cat so was also getting rather round! He also meowed very pitifully at other cats he saw in the garden (indoor cat with FIV) so we’d been debating it for a while. Our cattery also told us after a holiday how well they thought he’d do with another cat.

Usually FIV cats are individual due to the risk of transmission so we had quite a unique wishlist as he must also have FIV but the rescue were SO helpful. They told us we needed another cat who wouldn’t have a desire to be the dominant one and who was fairly “cat savvy” themselves due to Flynn’s weirdisms.

I would not have picked the cat they suggested out of a line up but he is an angel and completely perfect. He doesn’t want to be the dominant cat but is incredibly patient and gentle with Flynn. He spent months trying to play whilst Flynn worked out his very confused feelings about sharing his house and Dad with another cat. Ian was never put off by Flynn’s hissing or grumps, he just tried patiently every day to engage him. I must say it was STRESSFUL! We kept them apart unless supervised for a good few months and I found it tough having Ian around not knowing if we’d get to keep him! However, we soon learned that Ian was incredibly clever and indeed “cat savvy”- he worker Flynn out and essentially patiently worked on him until Flynn came around.

They don’t sleep cuddled up like some bonded cats (Flynn’s choice!) but they do follow each other EVERYWHERE, they play together every day and go haring round the house sounding like a herd of elephants. They have the odd fight when the Feliway Friends runs out or one of them is a bit hungry but Flynn’s behaviour is SO much healthier and better socialised. Watching him learn how to play has been a joy, especially when we see him copying things he watched Ian do! Ian also get’s bonus points for being a Mummy’s boy, whereas Flynn adores my DH.

Also, turning a corner and seeing two faces tilted at you at the exact same angle like “come on Mum, dinner!” Is absolutely hilarious!

So yes, I’m completely converted, two cats is better than one- but with the help of a patient and understanding rescue who want the best for both cats.

I know several people who've introduced other cats and it hasn't gone well. The cats get stressed. Some people have had to almost split the house so one cat is almost upstairs and the other is downstairs. When one of the cats have finally died, the remaining cat seems much happier and more confident.
It's a bit of a gamble and many cats prefer not to have other cats in their space.

There's (imo) a big difference between introducing an adult cat and a kitten. We've always done the latter and have never had a single problem with it. I'm sure some of it is luck but generally speaking if you look online and read up, kittens are much easier for adults to "accept" as they're not as threatening or intimidating - just annoying and bouncy

There are a couple of threads running at the moment from people who are trying to introduce adult cats and finding it incredibly stressful 😩

Thanks everyone. Yes, I absolutely don't want to upset my cat.

@user1471548941 I would definitely speak to the rescue, yes. The lady who runs it absolutely 'gets' cats and I would trust her judgement.

We have a slight issue with a couple of other cats coming in to nose around/eat his food* but he seems to regard this as normal. Not upset by it, just wants to sniff their faces and follow them. Certainly doesn't seem defensive/territorial. But he's not submissive either, body language is always confident.

I'm pleased we don't need to worry about him getting into fights! Only once have I seen a cat react badly to him. A tabby at the end of the street hissed and put its back up – ours was completely relaxed. The other cat seemed a bit confused.

*going to get a microchip cat flap

I think you should get him a little friend if you're up to the extra work. I got a new kitten as a playmate to my cat and they play, cuddle and groom each other. My original cat's life seems happier now.