Help two cats not getting on- reaching breaking point

[Alakazam8]

Hi I’m hoping that someone will come up with a genius idea for me. I have had a cat for 8 years who is brilliant, the loveliest cat obviously getting on a bit and maybe set in ways.
a month ago I got a kitten that was to be for one of the children following a hard time. The kitten was 6 months old. They are just not getting on and it seems to be getting worse rather than better.

have tried feliway friends, feeding them together, keeping them apart, letting them be together, giving them treats etc..
this afternoon the kitten got spooked by a noise and ran up stairs, the cat gave chase for the first time and the little one was so scared she peed when she stopped running, on my windowsill.
she was obviously scared, back arches, fur sticking up etc.

I would be so grateful if anyone has any ideas of anything at all that I could try, before I give up completely and upset the children too……

Could you start from scratch again. Separate again, scent swap. I introduced my new cat too quickly, and it emery wrong. Stated again. And it's not great, but it's much better than it was.

Start again and take it very slowly.

Thanks so much for replies- how do I start again. Could someone tell me the steps to go through to start again. How long to keep them apart for etc…
how to do it- I scent swapped, kept them separate fed together etc but it hasn’t worked at all. We are a month in now and today was the worst!

Keep them apart for at least two weeks, ideally longer, then slowly introduce them behind a closed door - no sight yet. Only when they're comfortably eating at either side of the door with no signs of fear or aggression should you allow them to see each other.

But when you do, you need to step back again so they're fed, say, ten foot apart but with a barrier, then get to the point where you can feed either side of the barrier with no fear etc.

It's hard and not possible for all cats to get along - some are just happier alone for all kinds of reasons.

I've never found Feliway Friends to work. Feliway original is better.

Oh, and Pet Remedy is really good - we found it better than Feliway for dealing with anxious cats.

If you've only had them a month you've done it too quickly. The scent swapping room swapping etc should be at least a week, then letting them see each other through doors, glass door etc, then feeding each side of the doors until comfortable with each others presence etc, then supervised access to each other etc. 1 month isn't long enough for a kitten and older cat, I took nearly 2 to get mine to the point they liked each other enough to have unsupervised access to each other (although in my case, my kitten is/was a bit if a bellend so.i dont really blame my older one)

Does your older cat like other cats?

We had a 6 year old cat and introduced a new kitten with all the above steps taken. Three years later and they still don't get on. Best case scenario is they ignore each other but then youngest one will be a prick and chase older one and there's hissing and a spat. It's not constant but it's not once in a blue moon either.

My cats don't get on, although now we're 2 years in they don't chase and hiss so much. But I do have to monitor them closely, if they're in the same room. I know they know I'm watching and so they behave, but if I'm not around they'd have a scrap.
One cat has made my greenhouse her own, as a sanctuary away from the other 2. So I've set up a bed, litter tray, food and water. She's happy as Larry with her own castle. In the depths of winter I bring her in and close her in a bedroom overnight with one of my DDs. So she doesn't feel abandoned as she has human contact, and again her own food and litter in there.
It's exhausting but I have a responsibility to them. I'm hoping that as the younger ones get older they all just get too tired to give a shit about each other.
One sign of light is when all 3 of mine work together to chase off an annoying local tom who bothers them. It shows they do at least recognise a common home and enemy.

thanks so much for all that helpful info, better than the info I got from the cat rehoming centre where both cats are from. We will do 2 weeks of keeping them completely separate, so they aren’t in same room at all and then gradually re introduce as above. Do you think it’s possible to get them to the point where I can let them outside at the same time for example or is it possible that would always be risky?
I don’t mind if they aren’t friends just don’t want everyone to be miserable!!!

Also would you recommend separate houses temporarily so that they can be kept fully apart? If that’s even possible….

look up advice from Jackson galaxy

For introductions I've done separate rooms for ages, then letting new cat run around the house while old cat is outside, feeding old cat next to the door where the new cat is, gradually opening the door a fraction while shovelling treats into old cat.

It takes ages and generally eventually I get fed up and leave them to it.

My old cat is a bit bonkers but whenever she starts falling out with her housemate I stick a Comfort Zone calming collar on her and it works wonders.

Sit these two cats down and give them a jolly good talking to! Or else you will cut their sardines ration for a week.

It is really upsetting, I know, I had cats that didn't get on. I can say that they never hurt each other, ever. but I never really knew if they would, so it was tense at times. I have a friend who had one cat kill another, so it does happen.

My mother takes in all sorts of waifs and strays, and has had cats living together for years that dont get on, again, they have never hurt each other. She has had one grumpy cat for 12 years now, and this cat has hated everyone and everything since her original owner died ( who she had a very close bond with) - this cat has scratched humans, and I personally don't approach her- however, she has never hurt another cat, even when she hisses and spits at them - so I think it is quite rare, but not unheard of

The kitten is a teenager that wants to play and is full of energy . The older cat has matured and wants peace and quiet . When the kitten turns into a cat things may settle down .

Don't give up yet. A month is nothing!
They may never be friends but you can have cats peacefully co-existing I'm the same house as long as you think like a cat.
They need to have their own territory, and not compete for resources. So lots of hidey spaces and quiet places. Are they on litter trays? Usual advice is a tray per cat and one extra. Feed separately until they are calm or at different times. Territory can overlap but at different times. I seperate mine overnight still.
My 3 cats have a sort of truce. They don't fight, hiss or spit, but we had many many months of hostile staring and bursts of chasing. From our kittens towards the older cat.
4 years on, they're still not friends but the staring has stopped. They will all sleep in the same room and may eat alongside each other if very hungry/really good food. Younger cats will still chase if older cat breaks into a run but she's become much less passive around them and will give a warning hiss if they get too close. Younger cats are the cat equivalent of all bark and no bite so quickly back down.
My previous introductions had gone much better! These 3 were determined not to get along.

Yes unfortunately one kitten plus an older cat isn't a great combination.

Kitten wants to play, older cat wants them to piss off and stop being so annoying.

My older cat only tolerated my kittens once they started going outside. One of them was seriously territorial and started duffing up all the neighbourhood cats that were bullying the old cat. She was delighted and cat-kitten relationship improved dramatically.