My beautiful boy has gone, I'm not coping

[Chippydippy]

My loving, beautiful 12 year old boy Reg died on Saturday. I cant stop crying. He'd been unwell for a few months with hyperthyroidism. Meds were not really doing anything for his condition so at his vet appointment about 10 days ago I said I wanted him to have his thyroid removed.
The vet wanted him to try another medication for 2 weeks to try to stabilise his condition, then he was to have a heart scan with the cardiologist to rule out any heart disease first. He only made it to day 5 on the meds when his breathing became laboured. I rushed him to the vet where he was put in an oxygen tank, further tests revealed fluid build up which was drained and his breathing eased a little. An hour later he deteriorated and died suddenly. I'm utterly heartbroken. Feel so much guilt that he died in this way at the vets and not peacefully at home with me.
My 20 yr old Ds who doesn't leave the house or have any friends due to mental health, is struggling more than I am and it's destroying me. They were best friends.
My baby is now at the chapel of rest, we have a wonderful pet cemetery nearby, and they will take his paw prints and a lock of hair before cremation.
I don't know why I'm posting, I just need to get it out. Thank you for reading

Oh Chippy I'm so sorry. Sending you lots of love and thinking of you. It is hearbreaking beyond words when we lose our animal companions. I too have an adult son with mental health difficulties who, like yours, rarely leaves the house. Our cat is his best friend and his world. I've been through pet bereavement and I share your guilt about my beautiful labrador, Barney, who died 10 years ago under similar circumstances to Reg.

At the end of the day Chippy you gave Reg the best life and he knew he was dearly loved.

Thank you ginasevern, he absolutely had a lovely life here and I told him multiple times a day how much we loved him. I'm so sorry you've been through similar 💔

It’s awful, so sorry to hear. Mine went early December, awful going into kitchen with no cat bowls, no cat round my legs in the morning, coming to empty house. Time will heal . I look at his photos now and smile. I took on a stray boy after 4 weeks, much sooner than I ever intended, however friends knew that we needed each other and I couldn’t make him wait without a home until I felt better. Still miss my old boy and the early days were very hard, you know how loved yours was and what a great cat life he had, let this be of some comfort.
Be kind to yourself and have some treats, I binge watched tv as a distraction from being upset. The kindness on here helped me, the litter tray people truly understand your loss.

Oh Chippy I'm so very sorry. My cats are my world and I sadly understand those feelings only too well. It sounds like you and your beautiful boy Reg had a very special bond, too special for him not to have known that you were trying to help him and do what was best. He knew how much he was loved, no doubt about it, and he will have had that love in his heart to the very end. And you'll have that same love in yours forever too and that's what you hold on to x

So sorry they hold your heart in their paws

So sorry for your loss @Chippydippy 💐

I did exactly the same but it was 3 days
Remember a quote about grief is love with nowhere to go so I adopted another cat
He came from a charity run by the woman who fostered my old boy and it just felt right

I still missed him and cried a fair bit but it really helped having this cat who was so so similar and yet different

I am so very sorry for your loss

So sorry for your loss it sounds like Reg was very very loved. I’m grieving for my beautiful dog who was PTS 2 weeks ago as she had an aggressive bone tumour in her nose. I’m missing her so much. The house feels so empty without her. I also have 4 cats and they are helping with the loss.

Ive lost cats in the past too and it never gets any easier, they are all so so special to us. It took me 6 months after our last 17 year old boy cat died to get 2 little rescue kittens to mend our hearts. You never forget your old beloved cats though.

I'm so sorry. It's just awful when they die.

sending you love. Your boy is sleeping warm and cosy with my little girl xx

I am so sorry to hear this, it is a terrible thing when you feel guilty about their last few days, but you had been told it was something that could help and you accepted that advice in good faith. Reg had twelve happy, spoilt , loving years with you and your dd and those are the memories you have to think about together.

Would you like to post a picture of Reg so we can admire him? He sounds like a great character.

So very sorry to hear of your sad loss, it hurts like hell doesn't it! Let yourself grieve, I know you are stricken that he passed at the vets but one way to think of it, is that he was somewhere where if anything could be done to save him, it would have been done. As @viques says, if you want to share a picture and write about him on here, we would all love to admire him and read about him💐

Oh love I'm so sorry. It's still understandable very raw.

We lost our DBoycat a couple of years ago to cancer and I loved him more than I love most humans. It took me at least a year to stop beating myself up about it. He like Reg had an amazing life. I still miss him terribly. I don't think you ever stop. Our DGirlcat went missing just before then. I was heartbroken.

All we can do is love them and look after them to the best of our ability.

What saved me a little although it didn't take the pain away was adopting DGirlcat2 from an awful situation. She is the sweetest little thing.

Be kind to yourselves.

Thank you all so much for your kindness. You have all helped me so much more than my real life 'friends'. It's taken me a lithe while to come back to this thread as I couldn't read a single reply without falling apart.I am still falling apart but I feel a bit numb at the moment. The house just feels so quiet and empty. I now have his ashes back,a little glass jar of his hair and a framed paw print.

Thank you for sharing your experiences and Iam so sorry to those of you that have also lost your beloved pets, my heart goes out to
you all ❤️

Thank you again.
This is my boy

He's lovely. I am sure he had the best happy life and loads of love xx

Oh lovely Reg! Clearly a very old soul, who has walked this world before and has every trick in the book filed under “getting my own way”. The head tilt says it all. Thank you for sharing your handsome boy.

Oh he is beautiful! His eyes looked so kind ♥️

Thank you everyone. He was definitely an old soul and had the sweetest nature ever. Still expect him to be waiting at the door when I get home. I know I won't feel like this forever. I'm going to go through all the pics of him this week and get some printed off so I can put them up around the house. One of my lovely neighbours dropped a sympathy card round a few days ago and her children had drawn pictures of Reg in it. How beautiful

Reg is a very beautiful boy!

Oh he's gorgeous! What a wise face.

My DBoycat was also black. Black cats are magnificent. X