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Said goodbye to my boy yesterday

11 replies

Lemur2007 · 29/05/2024 11:16

Had to have my lovely 14 yr old boy Domino pts yesterday. I wasn’t expecting it to hit me this hard, as I knew it was coming, but I’m heartbroken.

We found out at the beginning of the month that he had a cancerous tumour in his jaw. Had been keeping him comfortable with pain relief, and spoiling him with his favourite foods. Woke up yesterday morning & he wasn’t meowing in my face for food as usual, he was hiding under my sons bed & I could tell he was in pain, he refused any food.

Brought him into the vets, secretly hoping they would say he had an infection or something that could be treated to give us a bit more time with him. Sadly not. I had the option to bring him home on some stronger meds, but really it would have been delaying the inevitable. His jawbone was weakened & could snap, and I couldn’t bear the thought of it happening at home & him being in such pain. So I made the decision for him to be pts then. It was very peaceful, and I have prints of his paws & some cuttings of his fur. He is being cremated & I will sprinkle his ashes in the garden.

I feel all over the place, guilty that I had to make the choice, even though I know it was right for him. I even feel bad that I can’t explain to the 2 dogs where he is! I keep expecting him to walk in looking for food or a fuss. I don’t know what to do with his bed, part of me doesn’t want to get rid of it, but it’s also horrible seeing it empty. I know he had a lovely life with us, was spoiled a lot & we have lots of photos/videos & memories of our time together.

I suppose I’m posting to ask how long it took before others stopped feeling this way? I know grieving is a process, but I feel a bit overwhelmed with it right now. I’m usually such a logical, practical person.

OP posts:
marie3e · 29/05/2024 11:23

So sorry for your loss. When I've had a pet die before it took a couple of weeks for expecting to see them in their usual places to stop. You did what you thought was for the best, and out of kindness x

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 29/05/2024 11:29

So sorry to read this.

We had our lovely girl pts seven weeks ago tomorrow. She had aggressive intestinal lymphoma and we opted not to put her through chemo knowing that the prognosis with it was still very poor and the treatment would have been extremely distressing for her. I miss her so very much - I’m crying typing this - but it is becoming a little more bearable. I know we did the absolute best thing for her even though it was the absolute worst thing for us, and also that she had the absolute best, best life with us, albeit far too short (she was only 10). From our diagnosis to saying goodbye was just over a week, and it was all an awful shock which I think makes it worse.

We very quickly adopted a little rescue fella who is her total opposite number in pretty much every way. He’s helping - and I specifically chose a very different cat. I also had one of her paw prints tattooed on my arm a couple of weeks ago so she’s forever with me.

Compash · 29/05/2024 12:03

My heart goes out to you, and all of us who've lost a dear pet. Our boy was PTS nearly a year ago - he was only 9 and had a tumour in the mouth - it all happened quite quickly - we'd noticed his messy eating and took him in to query a tooth clean. It was a shock. We still miss his big, daft, loving energy around the place.

His sister, after an initial period of adjustment, has settled into her best life as Queen of the House, so, though I'd love another, we can't make her unhappy.

Though it's so sad, I'm glad to hear of everyone taking care of their kitties to minimise their suffering and do the best for them right to the end. It certainly sounds like you did, OP, and I hope that brings you comfort. 🤗

Lemur2007 · 29/05/2024 13:40

Thank you for your replies, I’m sorry to hear of your losses too ❤️ Especially when it’s in such a short space of time.

Domino had a couple of teeth removed last summer, so when I first noticed him drooling I assumed he needed another one out. He’d had antibiotics for the inflammation & was booked in for a dental. When I brought him in for this appointment the vet noticed his jaw seemed a bit wonky. So it went from a planned cleaning & extraction to X-rays & samples to go to lab. All seemed to happen so quickly.

I’ve just ordered a little personalised jar to put his fur clipping in & I’m going to choose a nice photo to put with his paw prints. It feels very quiet in the house today, the dogs are staying close to me which is some comfort.

OP posts:
Lemur2007 · 29/05/2024 13:45

This was my boy (sitting up was last year, second image was a couple of days ago) 💙

Said goodbye to my boy yesterday
Said goodbye to my boy yesterday
OP posts:
Judystilldreamsofhorses · 29/05/2024 16:29

Oh he was a beauty, OP.

Threetoedsloth · 29/05/2024 16:30

Such a beautiful boy. So sad, so sorry.

shellyleppard · 29/05/2024 16:31

So so sorry for your loss. Its never an easy thing to do. But you made the right choice even if it doesn't feel that way right now xoxo

Pudmyboy · 29/05/2024 20:30

Such a handsome boy! So sorry for your loss @Lemur2007 , it is bloody tough, what helped me was knowing there really was no alternative, my beloved Pud was never going to get better and would only have got worse, when it is time you know, as you did when you chose the kindest thing at the vets.
It helps me to say I still love him, because I do, I can't say I loved him, it hurts too much and is not true, he will always be my little love. Sending you 🤗 💐

Geminijust · 02/06/2024 16:13

We had to have our lovely 7 Yr old girl pts 2 weeks ago. It was all so fast, from taking her to the vets with vomiting which they initially thought was pancreatitis to having her pts following the discovery of a massive tumour was just 2 days 😪 Such a horrible shock.

We still can't believe she's gone, my DD didn't stop sobbing for two days and we still shed a tear when something reminds us of her. My DS made a lovely video tribute to her which he showed me yesterday and had me wailing again. We've collected her ashes and have ordered a stone which we will place in the garden following a little ceremony in the next few weeks.

The hardest thing is seeing her brother, he's so sad and lost. I've made a thread about whether to get another friend for him x

StrawberryFizz27 · 02/06/2024 16:20

I lost 2 of my boys, Ginger was a year ago last May and Bobs will be a year in October.

I still miss them so much and having other animals defo helped with the pain someone on here said to me at the time, even though you've had them for a short time in your life, they had you for all of theirs and that brought me real comfort.

Thinking of you OP. I got another kitten after Ginger, as she was born on the same day he died, at first the other 2 were fine with her but after Bobs, Ozzie really did not want to be with at home.
I left them together one weekend and that changed the relationship. I'm not getting another one now, I've been approved to foster instead.

Time is the only thing that heals.

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