Had to have my lovely 14 yr old boy Domino pts yesterday. I wasn’t expecting it to hit me this hard, as I knew it was coming, but I’m heartbroken.
We found out at the beginning of the month that he had a cancerous tumour in his jaw. Had been keeping him comfortable with pain relief, and spoiling him with his favourite foods. Woke up yesterday morning & he wasn’t meowing in my face for food as usual, he was hiding under my sons bed & I could tell he was in pain, he refused any food.
Brought him into the vets, secretly hoping they would say he had an infection or something that could be treated to give us a bit more time with him. Sadly not. I had the option to bring him home on some stronger meds, but really it would have been delaying the inevitable. His jawbone was weakened & could snap, and I couldn’t bear the thought of it happening at home & him being in such pain. So I made the decision for him to be pts then. It was very peaceful, and I have prints of his paws & some cuttings of his fur. He is being cremated & I will sprinkle his ashes in the garden.
I feel all over the place, guilty that I had to make the choice, even though I know it was right for him. I even feel bad that I can’t explain to the 2 dogs where he is! I keep expecting him to walk in looking for food or a fuss. I don’t know what to do with his bed, part of me doesn’t want to get rid of it, but it’s also horrible seeing it empty. I know he had a lovely life with us, was spoiled a lot & we have lots of photos/videos & memories of our time together.
I suppose I’m posting to ask how long it took before others stopped feeling this way? I know grieving is a process, but I feel a bit overwhelmed with it right now. I’m usually such a logical, practical person.