Is my cat broken?

[Lankycomb]

Slightly flippant title but I need some serious help with my cat.

Got her as a kitten in Jan 2021. Perfect kitten. Well tempered, didn’t destroy anything, great with my then 3yo son. Met my partner soon after getting her and when he started visiting my place, while not the biggest cat fan, they got on well enough. She would go outside but never strayed too far and always came back home when I’d call for her.

Fast forward to end of 2022 and I moved house. My partner lives with me now. She has had a complete personality transplant. Things she now does:

• she will cry at the backdoor to be let outside and then when you try to let her out, she attacks you
• if you cross a doorway or small passage and she’s there, she will attack you
• she will rub up against you (mostly in the kitchen which is the access to the garden) and then attack you
• she wants to sleep with me at night and has become very cuddly (spooning me)
• she now has to have an indoor litter box because if she does venture outside, it’s for 5 minutes before she’s back inside. she is never forced outside but always cried to go out and if the door is open will go outside
• any renovation, DIY, reorganising sends her into aggressive turmoil and she will hiss and attack constantly for days
• she throws up about once a week
• she won’t sleep in any of her cat beds and instead only sleeps on soft furniture
• anytime the doorbell goes, she runs and hides

She’s never attacked my son, thank god, and she’s still playful; but for me and my partner, we are constantly walking on eggshells around her, on edge for when she might attack. He gets it far more regularly than I do. He can’t walk past her at all without her hissing. Vet said physically everything is ok, so I’m at a complete loss!

Help me fix my broken cat!

She's obviously stressed from the move.

Cats have territories. Are there other cats around your new house? Sounds like she doesn't see the new space as hers at all and as a result is stressed.

When we moved with ours I helped them establish their territories as our garden by chasing off other cats.

Yes there are many other cats who roam. One in particular who she actively goes outside to square off with. Issue is if I go near the back door, I get attacked. The cat doesn’t come in our garden but will walk across the fence.

It will be 2 years in the autumn. How long is it normal for her to be stressed?

Agree that she sounds stressed. Have you tried those plug in feliway things?

I'd be tempted to try reintroducing her to the house. So shut her in one area of the house for a bit and then gradually expand where she can access.

Have you spoken to your vet about anti anxiety meds/cat therapy?

We’ve had the plug in for about a year and it’s not making a huge difference. Vet said we’d have to get a cat behaviouralist for next steps, which sounds pricey!

Is she a tortie?

Tabby

Sounds like my tabby. He's 3. He goes out for 5-10 mins then he's back. He attacks us. He'll bite the kids but they are older and know when he's going to bite so won't bother with him. We just leave him to come to us when he wants something. Has he been neutered?xx

Just wanted to check as torties are a law unto themselves!

Not going in cat beds and being distressed by renovations aren't unusual, but the stuff with the kitchen and doors is odd, has she been locked in at all? Does she have a cat flap?

Are you sure your partner treats her kindly when you’re not there, if it all started when you moved in together?

He trod on her once when he was doing the laundry and I don’t think she’s ever forgiven him. But she’s taking it out on me. She’s very unpredictable and one day will be fine and the next day hissing and attacking me for no reason. We all move on stealth mode around her now!

Is she a moggy or a breed?

Has pain been ruled out?

I think she is scared by something outside. She feels compelled to defend her outdoor territory but is getting stressed out by doing so.

She also might not like your partner. Does your partner let her in promptly when she asks? If he doesn't when you're not there, that would be terrifying for her.

Can you fit a microchip-controlled flap? She would be able to leave and reenter at will without being followed. She might then be able to settle into a timeshare with the other cats.

What tests have the vets done to rule out pain and other physical issues?

I would be asking for blood tests and a pain trial at the absolute minimum to rule out things like thyroid issues or early onset arthritis.

I also hate to ask this but are you absolutely sure your partner has never hurt her in any way? Our rescue cat was abused by his previous owners and his behaviour was very much as you describe when we brought him home.

I'd agree with stress. I think Jackson galaxy has some stuff on YouTube about redirected aggression, dont know if this will help you.
Are you able to distract her when she comes for you? I had this issue with my boy, he would jump and nip me if I ignored him. I've tried to play with him more, like get him panting and it seemed to have helped. He likes to chase the cat dancer toy.

Pet behaviourist may be covered under your pet insurance

The other cats are stressing her out. I would also look at a load of Jackson Galaxy videos, am sure I have seen one on this exact topic. Reading a Vicky Halls book also very helpful.

If she doesn't respond to Feliway, you can always try alternatives like Feliway Friends, Pet Remedy and Zylkene. Mine responds to a Comfort Zone collar.

I think she is stressed about something outside. My cat will attack us when he is pissed off about the rain or when he is being bullied by another cat. Definitely get one of those feliway things and try showing her a bit of attention, play with a laser toy etc so she is getting some indoor exercise. Maybe try and create a quiet space indoors for her too.

Try some you calm or zyclene seal off your garden scrub it to clean any smells reintroduce her to it

My cats get aggressive when they smell a tom cat I've had to use granules to keep him from spraying my back door and proactively chase him away unfortunately if they smell him they attack each other

Laser toys aren't great for cats. Some cats just don't like them - mine was scared of them.

They also aren't satisfying for them in play as cat play ends with them 'killing' the toy which they can't do with a laser.

Again Jackson Galaxy has a lot of videos on how to play with a cat - I thought mine didn't play much as they weren't interested, it turned out I was just rubbish at playing with them.

Jackson Galaxy reccomend that you give your cat a kicker toy to "catch" if you play with the lazer I have three cats three kickers I play with them then throw the toy for them to catch at the end its fun watching them disembowel the kickers

Thanks everyone. I’ll look into the videos on YouTube. It’s so hard because she will actively put herself in positions or places and then get stressed and hiss or attack us. She has a new toy that is a laser and catch-the-toy in one that is motion activated so she can play with it whenever, and it’s in the kitchen to try and turn the kitchen from a place of stress to a place of play. Going to look into the calm collar too!

My experience with my current cat (former semi-feral, spooks easily, bitey) is that laser and fishing rod toys are too stimulating and not helpful. She responds best to toys she can bite and/or carry around.

As others have said, objecting to DIY, not sleeping on cat beds provided, and throwing up are not unusual.

I agree she is stressed by something outside and probably resents your partner like mad. Does he like her or is the resentment mutual? Does he ever feed/Groom/ talk to her?

He stays away from her. Not really a cat person but until the move they’ve always had a pleasant enough relationship. He’s never sat and stroked her (says he’s allergic but I’m doubtful).