Sibling issues - better separating?

[WhereAreWeNow]

We've got 2 cats. Sisters. 1 year old. One is boisterous and cheerful. One is a jittery bag of nerves. The cheerful one bullies the nervy one a bit.

The nervy one is currently poorly with stress induced feline idiopathic cystitis. The vet suggested she might be happier without her sister. My mum would happily take either of them. I'm just not sure whether it's mean to separate them or whether it would be a kindness.

Do cats like living with siblings or are they happier alone?

I think that as your vet has recommended it, it would be worth at least trialling a separation. Many cats are quite happy living with others, but a sizeable minority do prefer to live alone

Thanks for your answer. A trial might be a good idea.

When we went to Battersea they said they don’t really rehome kittens in pairs as often they end up preferring to be alone when they get older. My friends cats who I looked after were siblings and they didn’t get along at all.

I would take your vets recommendation and give it a try. My cats are twins and they rub along pretty well, but I think cats are often territorial loners and it's a myth that they need a friend.

It really does depend on their personalities. I have a brother and sister pair which are always together, I also have triplet sisters who are rarely together, they like each others company and will happily play, but only my brother and sister pair wrap themselves around each other whenever possible.
I suspect that the triplets would be quite happy to all be alone, whilst the brother/sister pair definitely are not happy to be apart.

My last boy would not tolerate any cat or dog, or most humans and was very much a biter. My new boy Enjoys visits from friends with a staffie. New boy has never bitten and loves a belly rub, old one would have had your hand off!
Just different personalities, if you split them one might be happier one not.

The nervy one may turn into a boisterous cat once on her own, maybe she needs to be the one rehomed as your home will have the smell of her sibling, and if she goes somewhere new it will just have her smell?

We have several pairings, and just because cats are siblings is no guarantee they will like each other. Typically girl/girl is the most likely to fail pairing, whereas boy/boy or boy/girl are better just based on statistics. We have brothers, sisters, brothers and sisters, relationships can change over time, but it sounds like you're already at the point it is causing health problems. I would trial a separation, keep the more timid nervous cat yourself, a change in home may cause even more stress.

@nuggetsandchips it's interesting what you say about girl/girl being most likely to fail as I believe that's also the same with dogs.

We have three boys (not related) and they all actively seek the others out - either for play or grooming or for cuddles and naps.

This. One of my Mum's friends had 2 cats. One was very outgoing and affectionate the other nervy and Introverted. At 17 the outgoing one died. With a couple of weeks the nervy one became more outgoing even presenting for a belly rub. This cat had 3 more years of happy life before passing away. Her owner felt guilty because she never realised the other cat had somehow prevented her younger cat from flourishing for so many years. Let your Mum take the nervy 😺. I bet it will transform into a more confident cat within a month. You'd still be able to visit the cat at your Mum's.

We have 16 cats. We have most every combination I can think of, boys, girls, mothers (we used to have fathers too), children, siblings, completely non related, pure bred, rescued strays.

We have one girl/girl pairing that is really strong, but the most of the pairings are girl/boy, I would say the boys are more affectionate, make more of an effort to seek it out.

16! Wow.

Really interesting that girl/girl might be part of the problem. Come to think of it, DM used to have 2 girl cats years ago and they were similar to mine - one friendly and boisterous and one a bundle of nerves.

@nuggetsandchips I am so envious of your sixteen cats! Do they all get along and share the space okay?

We have a small house so three is really our limit but it's surprised me how well they rub along and how they seem to seem each other out for play, comfort etc.

For the most part yeah everyone gets along. We have boxes/beds all over, we have their room where we have baskets, kallax units with cushions, climbing shelves and 2 massive cat trees. Most of them have a best friend or relative who they snuggle/play with. Usually its the girls who have a tantrum lol

I think (in the same way as children!) it depends on personality. I have two from different letters so not related. One is dominant but I have never seen such a bonded pair, they move from room to room together. I would love to get a third but am scared to rock the boat. I would seriously consider a trial run of the vet's advice.

This also happened with our childhood dogs who were brothers. I wouldn't have said one was nervy but once one passed you could tell he was the dominant one

@nuggetsandchips maybe one I'll day I get my dream

DH drew the line at three and we also have a dog - I do think if our house was bigger he could be persuaded into more!

I had sisters with a similar dynamic to yours.

Happiest day of the bullied one's life was when her sister died.

On the other hand the bully would get cystitis when her victim was at the vet as she missed her.

Honestly boy girl pairs are easier.

I think perhaps my MIL laid some groundwork when DH was younger so his fine with everything. We also have a dog, getting another puppy in a few weeks, poor soul needs a dog friend. Our son also has Gerbils and we have a fish tank, so pretty much some rural petting zoo 😂

Did you decide what to do @WhereAreWeNow ? Hope your kitties are thriving

Thanks for checking @Pudmyboy
Still undecided. They seem to be getting on a bit better some of the time. Not sure if it's the Feliway or not.
But then the more boisterous one is still a bit mean at times (like this morning when she ambushed her poor nervous sister in the litter tray).
My mum is still keen to take one but I'm reluctant to let either of them go so I'm just waiting and hoping they get on a bit better.