Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Does our kitten hate us or is he a teenager?!

24 replies

bumblebee1987 · 11/04/2024 22:36

We got a gorgeous ragdoll kitten in December. When we got him, he was SO affectionate, literally wanted cuddles all the time, had to be with or on someone constantly, purred loads and generally seemed really happy. But recently (probably for the last six weeks?) he's just totally lost interest, hasn't purred in weeks, wont sit with us, wont play with us, just seems cross all the time and swipes/bites at us. We picked a ragdoll because other ragdolls I know are so chilled and affectionate, and we have an older cat who is a moggie and to be honest, I don't think he could care less whether we were dead or alive, as long as someone is feeding him, so we thought this one might actually want some love 😂(he has papers and was from a reputable breeder before anyone asks!)

The vet says physically he's fine, as I was worried the change in behaviour was because he's unwell, but apparently not. So i'm wondering, could it be because he's going through a bit of a teenage angst phase?! He's about 7.5 months old now.

He loves our other cat (the feeling is mutual!), so there isn't an issue there. We lost our dog in January, and I know he liked the dog, but timewise I don't think it can be because he's sad about that, as its more recent that he has changed (although I know firsthand that animals can grieve very hard). He doesn't go outside, but I don't think he's bothered about that because he has never shown any interest (not that I would let him anyway, ragdolls aren't known for being particularly street smart!). He has plenty of toys and enrichment, a fairly big house to run around in, human and cat company all day.

Does this sound normal?! I want him to be happy, we all love him so much, but I feel like he's not happy here?! What can I do?!

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 11/04/2024 22:45

Had he had the snip? Could another cat be visiting and upsetting him?

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 11/04/2024 22:57

Toddlerteaplease · 11/04/2024 22:45

Had he had the snip? Could another cat be visiting and upsetting him?

No he hasn't had the snip yet, we were planning to wait a bit longer. We do sometimes have other cats come to the garden because our older cat has friends who come and see him, but the little one doesn't go out, so he doesn't have any interaction with them?

OP posts:
fieldsofbutterflies · 11/04/2024 23:14

You really need to neuter him! He's way too old to be entire.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 11/04/2024 23:21

He wants a wife ( and he’s letting you know) time for the snip: unneutered males get angsty.

TakingTheHorseToFrance · 11/04/2024 23:27

Our cat is just a regular moggy but that happened him too,, went from cuddly kitten to not wanting much petting. We got him snipped but it made no difference. He's not gone on people and barely tolerates us. The kids absolutely love him and he will sit on their beds for the warmth but he no longer comes up for petting or cuddles. He's a bit of a dick if I'm honest.

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 11/04/2024 23:29

OH! I thought that the advice was to wait longer now?! Or maybe that's just dogs?! Well, that makes sense! We weren't in a particular hurry because he's an indoor cat so weren't worried about him getting anyone pregnant, but I hadn't considered it from a behavioural perspective. Sadly for him, he's not getting a wife, so I guess I had better get him booked in for a castration!

Okay so he doesn't hate us, that's a relief 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 11/04/2024 23:32

TakingTheHorseToFrance · 11/04/2024 23:27

Our cat is just a regular moggy but that happened him too,, went from cuddly kitten to not wanting much petting. We got him snipped but it made no difference. He's not gone on people and barely tolerates us. The kids absolutely love him and he will sit on their beds for the warmth but he no longer comes up for petting or cuddles. He's a bit of a dick if I'm honest.

Oh no, it may not be the fix I was hoping it would be then?!

Your moggy sounds like our older one, so much love for the taking, but he couldn't care less 😂 Although to be fair, ours has always been like that, from the day we got him. I don't think he'd pee on me if I was on fire! I thought we were safe with a ragdoll, I thought he'd love me!

OP posts:
fieldsofbutterflies · 11/04/2024 23:56

There's no benefit to keeping male cats entire - the problem is that once that hormone rages through them and changes their behaviour, it sometimes becomes ingrained, so neutering doesn't change it unfortunately.

drhf · 12/04/2024 00:06

We have a bad-tempered adult male pedigree ragdoll, the offspring of two grand champions. He adores me but he merely tolerates everyone else. He spends a good portion of each day screaming at us at the top of his voice. He has a stress-exacerbated health condition which means we are terrified of him getting upset, which he does any time he doesn't get his own way.

He's recognisably a ragdoll - he is never aggressive (with humans), he allows me to cuddle him however I like, and he follows me from room to room. But he rarely comes to me for cuddles, hates sitting on laps and usually seems disappointed in us. He's our baby, though, and we love him to distraction.

Despite the view that ragdolls are too placid to go outside, ours is the neighbourhood thug. He never leaves our garden, but he has chased off multiple foxes as well as lesser foes. The ragdoll side comes out when he screams for help when he gets into a fight. Last time we found him pinning down another cat, and he was furious when we helped his opponent to flee.

OP, get your angry adolescent neutered - and then enjoy his unique personality, whatever that turns out to be!

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 12/04/2024 00:19

fieldsofbutterflies · 11/04/2024 23:56

There's no benefit to keeping male cats entire - the problem is that once that hormone rages through them and changes their behaviour, it sometimes becomes ingrained, so neutering doesn't change it unfortunately.

Oh no 🤦🏻‍♀️ Okay, that will be my first job tomorrow, book him in to be neutered! Hopefully it's not too late!

OP posts:
Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 12/04/2024 00:29

drhf · 12/04/2024 00:06

We have a bad-tempered adult male pedigree ragdoll, the offspring of two grand champions. He adores me but he merely tolerates everyone else. He spends a good portion of each day screaming at us at the top of his voice. He has a stress-exacerbated health condition which means we are terrified of him getting upset, which he does any time he doesn't get his own way.

He's recognisably a ragdoll - he is never aggressive (with humans), he allows me to cuddle him however I like, and he follows me from room to room. But he rarely comes to me for cuddles, hates sitting on laps and usually seems disappointed in us. He's our baby, though, and we love him to distraction.

Despite the view that ragdolls are too placid to go outside, ours is the neighbourhood thug. He never leaves our garden, but he has chased off multiple foxes as well as lesser foes. The ragdoll side comes out when he screams for help when he gets into a fight. Last time we found him pinning down another cat, and he was furious when we helped his opponent to flee.

OP, get your angry adolescent neutered - and then enjoy his unique personality, whatever that turns out to be!

Edited

Oh he sounds hilarious 🤣 Nothing like what I thought a ragdoll could be, but great nonetheless! (Aside from the health condition, that sounds stressful) All of the ragdolls I've ever met have just been gorgeous cuddly lumps, I thought I was getting a guaranteed teddy with a heartbeat that I have to feed! I work with dogs so I was very aware that sometimes animals haven't read their breed description, so I did know it was possible, but I just thought it was unlikely I would end up with anything other than your typical fluffy lump 🤣 Oh well, you get what you get, we love him regardless, he's a beautiful boy, just more feisty than I had bargained for! My mum has a ragdoll and I think the breed description was written by him, he is so soppy and chilled 🤣

Good to know that you let yours out. We were planning to cat proof the garden, but trying to figure out how to make it work with our older cat who free roams wherever he likes and always has, so I don't think he'd enjoy being confined to the garden. We lost a Siamese on the road a few years ago and it was awful, so I had planned for this one to be indoors, but if we can make the garden work he'd like that.

Will get him neutered asap!

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 12/04/2024 03:34

Definitely get him snipped. You do not want him spraying in your house. Never heard the advice to wait till later.

sashh · 12/04/2024 08:23

Another vote for the snip, they can small a female in heat literally miles away.

Toddlerteaplease · 12/04/2024 09:06

I rescued a very aggressive 4 year old entire boy. Who is now the soppiest cat ever!

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 13/04/2024 13:46

Thanks for all of your replies :-) He is now booked in to be neutered on the 25th of April. Hopefully i'll get my soppy, ragdoll back and he'll stop the feisty behaviour and submit to being loved😂

OP posts:
Kittenchops · 13/04/2024 13:57

Hi.I'm so glad he is booked in for the snip.We rescued an un neutered 2 year old street cat, it was a nightmare.Aggressive scratching biting and he was very moody, and sprayed all over the house.
Trust me
you don't want to experience that.
He was neutered within 4 days of us getting him.
The leather sofa had to go !
But the upside is he's a lot better now.!
Hope you get your soppy boy back 😸

fieldsofbutterflies · 13/04/2024 13:59

IME neutered males are the soppiest cats. We have three and they're all super chilled about everything.

Laurama91 · 13/04/2024 15:39

I can see you have him booked in now but for future reference I believe they like to do it around 4 months. Our boy was small and wasn't 2kg (which I believe is another recommendation for anesthetic) so he got done at 6 month. Every so often he's an arse and a lady at the rspca said its possible he was done too late

MrsMoastyToasty · 13/04/2024 15:43

He needs the snip otherwise he'll have a harem of females.

isitbananatimealready · 13/04/2024 15:43

You really REALLY don't want an un-neutered Tom in your house! They don't smell very nice.

Glad he's booked in now. 🙂

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 13/04/2024 16:34

I can't believe how stupid I have been 🤣 I think I still think of him as a little kitten, so I thought we had plenty of time to get him done. Also as he's an indoor cat I wasn't worried about females. Hadn't even occured to me that there are other reasons 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️ I really hope we haven't left it too late, he was so lovely when he was a baby, I hope that side comes back. He makes us laugh because he's so feisty now, so It'll be fine and we will still love him, but it's a bit sad if we missed the opportunity for him to be chilled and affectionate. It's been 15 years since our older cat was this age, I can't even remember what age he was done!

I wonder what cat breeders do with their toms?! Do they just live with smelly, feisty boys?!

Out of interest, his wee smells strongly of ammonia, is that because he's not neutered yet too?! I clean his litter tray all the time, but I still feel like I can always smell ammonia?!

OP posts:
focacciamuffin · 13/04/2024 16:39

I wonder what cat breeders do with their toms?! Do they just live with smelly, feisty boys?!

They probably don’t keep them in their house.

Having said that, I have known a few full toms that didn’t smell.

fieldsofbutterflies · 13/04/2024 16:40

I suspect many breeders keep their Toms in cattery type set-ups outside.

wrinkledstocking · 13/04/2024 16:42

We got a rescue kitten….all sweetness and light when She was young then went thro a period of biting us as she got older..now she’s four and has for the first time sat on my shoulder chest purring ,my she’s heavy but i’ll take anything. So maybe just a phase…the more you try pet them the more you get bitten or worse..ignore and eventually he’ll come running…

New posts on this thread. Refresh page