Future dilemma

[Canthave2manycats]

I don't know what is the right thing to do.

Just over 2 years ago I adopted a rescue cat from CP who had been living on the streets. She is an absolute dote and has settled so well into our home, Shortly after adopting her, I got another rescue girl who had been neglected and living on the streets too. Unfortunately, they don't get on. We've been working on it for 2 years and all we can do is keep them apart. They can sleep in the living room together under supervision.

A couple of months ago, I decided to adopt a soppy, placid boy, hoping that he would bridge the gap between the two of them. He hit it off pretty quickly with our second girl, but first girl still doesn't want to know, even though he is submissive.

Cat #1 loves to sleep with my daughters in their bedroom or on the landing. DD2 has moved out but comes to stay now and again and Cat #1 is happy to sleep with her in her bed. Mostly she sleeps with DD1 and walks up and down her and demands pets during the night.

DD1 is hoping to buy her own house and wants to take Cat #1 with her when she moves out. I don't want to let Cat #1 go because I love her to bits. I'm also not happy that she might have to leave her home of two years that she's got used to after straying on the streets.

Opinions?

You should do what's in the best interests of the cat and I think that is for her(?) to move out & live with your daughter. She'll be much happier & less stressed - all 3 cats will be.

To keep cat 1 after introducing 2 new cats to the household, neither of which she likes, would be selfish I'm afraid.

Thanks for your response - she isn't in the least bit stressed by the other two cats as she takes herself off upstairs to my daughters' room, my son's room or the landing, which the other two cats are barred from.

I just would prefer she wasn't taken away with all she has been familiar with for the two years since she was rescued.

Honestly, it sounds as though Cat 1 would be happiest moving with your DD.

Even if it would mean her leaving the home she is familiar with for the last two years?

I'm not sure what you think I should have done with Cat 1 tbh! Selfish my arse!

It’s no different to moving house and lots of cats do that and cope . Is your daughter renting or buying as if she’s renting the concern would be if she had to move back in ( the cat ) in a few years and that may cause an issue .

Why did you suddenly take offence?

It's not easy introducing new cats...multi-cat households can be tricky. I know, I've done it.

And your 1st cat will be finding her living situation stressful to some degree, if she didn't she wouldn't be removing herself to a different part of the house.

At no point did I say you were selfish not to have given her away to some random person already, but I do think it would be selfish to keep her with you when it sounds like she will be much happier living with your daughter in a single cat household.

Also at no point did I call you selfish so just...calm down.

It's too late for this shit lol

She won’t mind moving. She’ll settle in to a new house just fine. If she doesn’t like the other two cats you’d be doing her a kindness letting your daughter have her. You’ll still be able to see her.

Honestly, it sounds like cat 1 would do better as an only cat.

When DD1 moves out your cat will really miss her. Your DD and her room is the cat's safe space. Let her take the cat.

Plus you'll see her when you visit DD.

I feel sorry for poor cat 1. She's quite obviously not having the best life living with two cats she doesn't like and yet you seem more concerned about her staying in a home she's not happy in than moving out and being the only cat which by everything you've written is exactly what she needs to be in a home with what sounds like her person.

Please put the cat first and encourage your daughters suggestion of her taking the cat once she has a place of her own. The cat genuinely won't think she's being abandoned or care that she's no longer at your house.

Id let her go . I have a similar situation and I would let the cat go with dd if she was in a position to move out .

It's the perfect solution. She gets to live with your dd who she loves with no other cats. Some cats like other cats for company this one doesn't.

If you kept her you would be doing it for your self not her.

I had a previously rescued cat move out when my DS2 bought a house.
I worried that cat would struggle with smaller house and losing his big garden for a much smaller territory.
I was also sad for myself as I’d miss him so much.
However DC has thrived living in DS house.
DS is local so we see that cat often either when visiting DS or because we are called upon to go and feed the cat at various moments.
I still pay for the regular vet plan and insurance but DS mostly buys his food.
It was sad but definitely the right choice for the cat who adores DS.

I think the cat should go and live with your daughter. It's not kind to keep her in a situation where she doesn't get along with her either of her feline housemates - especially when it's to the point that they have to be separated unless asleep and supervised.

Cats move houses all the time and cope absolutely fine.

I'd also let her mine with your DD. If the cat is unhappy. It's not fair to make her stay. And you'll still see her.

It’s obviously the perfect solution. I don’t understand why you’re so resistant to it.

She might blossom as an only cat though.

The cat over the road was always with his brother but the brother died and he had a spring in his step afterwards.

I moved the Bengal twice, he was fine as long as we were there. I got my rescue moggy at 10/11 (owner was a man and wasn’t sure their the same at work none of them know their kids date of birth) and she settled in fine.