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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

So we got a cat…

38 replies

StatesOfMatter · 06/04/2024 07:22

After months of talking about it (how nice it would be to have a pet for the 2 DC, keeping adults company when WFH) we got a cat - in a very quick process - from a rescue.

He is a 4 year old black domestic short hair and it all happened rather quick (quicker than expected given we were looking for an indoor cat who can be around young children)

He arrived yesterday and instantly found somewhere to hide (expected as we knew from rescue he hadn’t coped well with the changes in his situation). We made sure he had a room all kitted out for him and could be his space - left door open to wider downstairs so he could hear/smell the bustle of the house.

Feel like I’ve now been inducted into cat ownership as this morning first question from DP is ‘where is the cat?’ cue looking around the place and then finding him behind sofa in living room (definitely not his space). I’m not abandoning my living room when he chose to be in it (which was discussed)

The positive is he felt ok enough to explore especially as we had repeatedly been told he may take days or weeks to do so. However it definitely feels like the question of ‘where is the cat?’ will be asked again and I think my idea of his space is not the same as his…

This is my first time as a cat owner (or person who belongs to a cat?) Is this what it is like?

(no ‘cat tax’ yet as he is picture shy and not happy when anyone gets close)

OP posts:

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Fleetheart · 06/04/2024 07:26

Well done on getting a lovely kitty, I am sure you will all love him! He will take a few days and then he will stop hiding and find his favourite places to snooze. I don’t quite understand the concept of his space/ my space though. Cats just go where they want. It’s quite a challenge to keep them out of somewhere really as sometimes you find you have shut them in rather than shut them out.

Tatas · 06/04/2024 07:28

Congratulations on your new furry overlord!

When I've got new cats, I've left the door to their room closed for the first few days / nights until they're a little more comfortable and have sort of claimed it as their own territory. With the door being left open it's likely the cat has just tried to hide somewhere else (hence being under the sofa!) rather than get used to his surroundings in the cat room you'd prepared for him.

Do you think it's likely he'll retreat to his room? Depending how busy the living room is going to get it might be worth encouraging him back to his room so he isn't trapped under a sofa and a bit too nervous to come out! On the first night with our two current cats one did the same, it took a lot of tempting out but we managed to get him out and pick him up to go to his new room so he could get settled.

Cats do tend to go where they want when they're comfortable (I can't keep mine out of anywhere 😂) so hopefully he will find his new spots soon!

Original poster

StatesOfMatter · 06/04/2024 07:40

Thanks for the advice - it feels like a rookie mistake to leave the door open last night! Live and learn!

The ‘his space’ comment was because the rescue wanted us to give him a room to settle so we did that but didn’t want to ‘lock him in’ - this all sounds a bit PFB but with a cat…

He is no longer behind sofa - has retreated into a corner away from the breakfast/morning bustle. We will all go out for a morning walk soon and see if he moves then and if not will will try to relocate him when we get home.

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Tatas · 06/04/2024 07:43

Ooo out from under the sofa is a big step!! Hopefully he will enjoy exploring when you've all popped out - one of my rescues took a few days to be comfortable exploring the house, the other just was straight to claiming the best nap spots 😂

I'm PFB with my cats too - it's ridiculous what a pair of whiskers and a meow can convince me to do! Best way to be 😊

Definitely grab some super tasty treats today and start bribing for affection!

IFHTTBIC · 06/04/2024 07:44

Give it a little while and you will understand why you're getting lots of smiles about his space and yours. If you've not seen it before look up Simon's Cat, it's very funny and pretty accurate about cat servitude, sorry, ownership.

They are small adorable furry tyrants who will take over your heart (we have two at the moment and have had three others). They definitely do things on their terms!

HappiestSleeping · 06/04/2024 07:48

Mistake number one. You don't own a cat. Dogs are the ones that have owners, cats have staff. 😂

FloofCloud · 06/04/2024 07:50

Our first rescue was very shy, before we knew it he was stretched out like a rug on the floor and you had to step over him - he didn't bat an eyelid!
Second rescue was a feral kitten, he spent a
Month in our snug, hiding under the sofa/bookshelf - he's still a little timid now but he is very much a tamed cat
3rd rescue, got a
Few months after feral kitten arrived, best buddies with feral, never worried about anything lol 😂

FloofCloud · 06/04/2024 07:51

Ooops - tax...

Doyouthinktheyknow · 06/04/2024 07:53

Dcat lasted 5 minutes in the room we set up for her😻
She was off around the house exploring and that was that.
We just left her to do what she wanted.
She was 4 when we got her. We rarely need to ask where she is anymore, she’s either waking us up or asleep very close by. We don’t get any privacy and have to keep our bedroom door open for her.

Being a cat parent is the absolute best thing ever, she has transformed our lives. Hope your kitty settles and anticipate she will be ruling the roost soon!

Anniegetyourgun · 06/04/2024 07:53

It was kind of two mistakes in one, in a way (but don't feel bad, it's not a problem, just the "ideal" vs "well, that works too"!). The recommended method is to have them shut in one room initially but for someone to go and sit in quietly with them often, perhaps the family taking turns. Eventually he'd come out when you're sitting there and then it will probably be time to open up more of the house to explore. We did it a room at a time with our latest two.

Edited to add: so your decision to use what used to be your lounge when he's in there is quite a good thing, unless you're practising the tuba.

helpfulperson · 06/04/2024 09:53

What age are your children? If they are past the screaming age and can understand that they need to particularly calm and quiet for a few days while he settles in he'll be fine having the whole house, especially if you occasionally all go out so he can relocate and get back to his food and litter tray. If they are younger a single room with visitors will probably be better.

But yes get used to 'where's the cat?' being a main topic of conversation.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 06/04/2024 10:03

There will be no such thing as 'his space'! Once he's gained in confidence will go where he wants unless you shut him out of places. We only really ask where the cat is if we are going out or going to bed, to make sure he's not shut in anywhere and doesn't have access to anywhere we don't want him to go!

Igmum · 06/04/2024 10:32

Awww 😻 congratulations on getting a cat, you will love it. We once had a rescue kitten who spent the first three days behind the fridge 🫣 but yes, once he's out it is all his space and you will have the joys of cat snuggled up on your bed.

mondaytosunday · 06/04/2024 10:49

Just let him be. Carry on as normal. You'll probably find one evening sitting there watching TV there's suddenly a warm fuzzy thing next to you.

SevenSeasOfRhye · 06/04/2024 10:54

He will explore in your absence. With my shy boy, he was hiding during the day but at night we'd hear him leaping around the house.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 06/04/2024 11:10

I didn't even set up a room for Harry, I didn't realise until recently it was a thing! Not that we actually have a room we don't use. I just let him get out of his basket find his food and litter tray and then crack on. Eventually the whole flat became his space!

Singleandproud · 06/04/2024 11:17

Congratulations!

I own two black cats, be aware that once he gets a bit more confidence in the dark you can't see them and they can get under your feet.

If your cat does end up going outside although it's generally recommended not to use collars however, a hi Vis reflective material one is particularly useful on black cats. I tried to have indoor cats but my two had very different ideas on the life they wanted to lead.

Overtheatlantic · 06/04/2024 12:29

Get him a nice cat nip banana and a scratchy post. Maybe a shallow box. If he’s coming out at night he might want to play!

Original poster

StatesOfMatter · 06/04/2024 12:32

So went out this morning (including both children - 2 boys one 9 and one 4) and came home to find he has been around in our absence (litter tray used) and returned to the back of the sofa which is where he is holed up. Both boys know to give him space.

Cat has been named as Ezra and managed to get a photo while he is keeping a low profile (so can now pay the cat tax)

We know this is going to take a few days (or longer) for him to settle but already finding the reality of having a cat is not quite the same as the idea 😆

And have accepted that it is his house now!

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Floralnomad · 06/04/2024 12:33

Stick cat Tv ( you tube) on for him . We are cat sitting my sons Siamese this week and one of them loves cat Tv .

RichardsGear · 06/04/2024 12:49

Aw, look at his big worried eyes. Our black rescue girl was a bit timid at first but soon found her feet/paws and claimed DH's lap as her favourite spot. She's converted him from a, 'get a cat if you want but I'm having nothing to do with it, I'm a dog person' type to a cat lover through and through.

Overtheatlantic · 06/04/2024 15:51

Awww black cats are the best! He will reveal his wonderful personality in due course! 😻😻

Joolsin · 06/04/2024 15:59

Oh, those eyes. He is gorgeous. He will get used to you all within a few days and gradually become more and more comfortable.

Our cat is downstairs only, the humans in the house have been trained to keep the doors to the hallway closed so she doesn't get upstairs! She has several favourite hiding spots - under the sofa, on top of the fridge, on chairs under the table when the radiator is on, etc., etc.

SevenSeasOfRhye · 06/04/2024 15:59

Beautiful cat, those eyes saying 'love me'!

Original poster

StatesOfMatter · 07/04/2024 11:09

Last night I was watching a film in the lounge (just me as I’m a night owl unlike DP) and around 10.30ish the cat marches in spots me the zips off. (He must have smelt me and heard the TV before walking in?)

Got some dreamies this morning and he likes those - managed to coax him half way out of a den he has claimed.

So I will count that as quick progress.

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