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Terrible dilemma

80 replies

RayWinstone · 26/03/2024 19:45

Hi all,

I've name changed because I've spoken to hundreds of people IRL about this. I was hoping for some Litter Tray wisdom and honesty (to balance the advice from friends /family who don't want to upset me).

Our lovely 1.5 year old ginger boy was found by our neighbour this morning with a broken leg. He must have been hit by a car. It was an horrific break - the bone was completely severed and poking out of the wound. The vet said he'd definitely have to amputate the leg but was fairly confident about the prognosis. The xray showed he'd broken his other hip, though, so it looked like we'd have to PTS.

We told the kids he 'hadn't made it' when we picked them up and then went to the vets to do the deed. When we got there, the vet suddenly seemed fairly positive that he could do something to the other hip (taking out the joint or something) so that he'd be OK - he'd be left with only one, slightly gammy back leg, he 'wouldn't be able to climb trees' but could live pretty happily. Vet couldn't be certain about outcome of operation obviously but was quite confident. He said he's certain he wouldn't be in pain once the initial convalescence was over - the question mark is over quality of life (again - he says if things go well, he's pretty sure he'll live well and long).

We don't have insurance but the extra element of the operation on the hip is likely to be about 500-1000 more than what we were expecting to pay just for the amputation (so 2500ish total).

So now we're in a total headfuck of a dilemma. I'm usually fairly pragmatic in situations like these but I suppose I've never had to make a decision like this about such a young and vivacious cat.

We've left him at the vets (he was very comfortable) because we couldn't make the decision either way (the vet encouraged this). We're genuinely quite traumatised by the roller-coaster we've been on today, and so upset so decision making was even harder. He's an absolutely wonderful cat and we all adore him. But we can't decide whether the risk is worth it or fair.

Brutally honest perspectives from Internet strangers encouraged!

OP posts:
Grimbleton · 27/03/2024 09:59

Is there any nerve damage? My poor cat was recently hit by a car (dislocated not broken hip) but nerve damage around the tail area too, the possibility of permanent incontinence as well as his other injuries led us to put him to sleep.

Vet said the same - would support either decision we made. But once we had decided he was very supportive of our choice to euthanise and agreed the likelihood of future complications in our case was an almost certainty

DisappearingGirl · 27/03/2024 10:31

If helpful, here's a link (sorry it's reddit) to a three legged cat that later had FHO. Seems successful in the OP's updates. But he didn't have both legs done at same time. Only one anecdote of course

https://www.reddit.com/r/TripodCats/comments/i75q3g/any_successful_fho_surgeries_on_a_tripod_cat/

Notinthemood12 · 27/03/2024 11:00

Save your cat, he will adapt. Better to save and support him than not and regret it. But I understand the dilemma of course, it’s very sad

Anniegetyourgun · 27/03/2024 11:14

Me - I think I'd pts. Not for myself but for him. He's a young, active cat who will be frustrated being largely immobile for however many weeks, if not months, it takes to recover, even assuming it all goes well, which is by no means guaranteed.

This may sound heartless, as obviously if it's your cat it's the one you know and love and owe care to, but there are also loads of other lovely in shelters who could have a great quality of life with you, instead of which you're spending time, money and angst caring for your poor broken boy. Yes, if the prognosis is good, you'd pay through the nose and do whatever his care involves - I would too (and have done) - a few months' worth of no holiday and fewer/cheaper days out is nothing in the scheme of things. But the prognosis isn't that great.

Lastly, a lesser consideration perhaps, but you've already told the children he's gone. A cause for celebration if he does make a good recovery, but if he doesn't, they'll have lost him, mourned him, miraculously got him back, only to lose him again... much more painful than only losing him once and for all. Just a thought.

RayWinstone · 27/03/2024 11:32

Anniegetyourgun · 27/03/2024 11:14

Me - I think I'd pts. Not for myself but for him. He's a young, active cat who will be frustrated being largely immobile for however many weeks, if not months, it takes to recover, even assuming it all goes well, which is by no means guaranteed.

This may sound heartless, as obviously if it's your cat it's the one you know and love and owe care to, but there are also loads of other lovely in shelters who could have a great quality of life with you, instead of which you're spending time, money and angst caring for your poor broken boy. Yes, if the prognosis is good, you'd pay through the nose and do whatever his care involves - I would too (and have done) - a few months' worth of no holiday and fewer/cheaper days out is nothing in the scheme of things. But the prognosis isn't that great.

Lastly, a lesser consideration perhaps, but you've already told the children he's gone. A cause for celebration if he does make a good recovery, but if he doesn't, they'll have lost him, mourned him, miraculously got him back, only to lose him again... much more painful than only losing him once and for all. Just a thought.

Thank you so much for this. You've articulated how we feel very well.

We've just got back from the vets having put our little boy to sleep. We saw a different vet to yesterday and she was clearly in favour of our decision. We are absolutely devastated, and genuinely quite traumatised by the turmoil of the last couple of days.

I really appreciate everyone who took the time to share their thoughts. This thread demonstrates just how hard a decision this was. Thank you x

OP posts:
Beamur · 27/03/2024 11:43

I was going to suggest a second opinion from a different vet - which sounds like you got and was helpful.
Sorry for your loss - plus a difficult few days.

AnnaDomini · 27/03/2024 11:46

You did the right thing @RayWinstone .
Sorry for your loss. Flowers

Anniegetyourgun · 27/03/2024 11:47

Much sympathy to you and your family. It may have been the right thing to do under the circumstances, but that doesn't make it any easier.

EasterBunnny · 27/03/2024 11:51

I’m so sorry for your loss.

BrothersAndSisters · 27/03/2024 11:53

Poor baby.

MrsSkylerWhite · 27/03/2024 11:57

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · Yesterday 20:34
You would be surprised at the amount of three legged cats and they really really have no problem adjusting to three legs

True, but did they also have another smashed hip? One of our cats in particular would be miserable living like that so for him it would be PTS.

So sorry that you find yourself in this situation OP.

DisappearingGirl · 27/03/2024 12:17

Ah bless you OP. I think it was a sensible and loving decision in the circumstances.

We too have a little ginger boy the same age, he loves going outside so we know this is a risk and a worry. We also had a little black cat who was killed by a car at the same age many years ago - we still think of him.

We have also had pets that I think we kept treating for too long with hindsight, and I am now very wary of overtreating when it's kinder to PTS.

Heffapotamus · 27/03/2024 12:28

I'm sorry for your loss x

MrsSlocombesCat · 27/03/2024 12:39

swooshes · 26/03/2024 20:03

Poor puss and poor you. If I'm reading it correctly, it wouldn't just be a case of a 3 legged cat, but one of those three legs wouldn't function properly? I think that would sway my opinion towards PTS to be honest, it really doesn't sound like the best quality of life. I am sorry you're in this awful position 💗

This.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 27/03/2024 12:41

Very sorry about your cat. A horrible decision for you to have to make. My sympathy to you and your family. 💐

Glittertwins · 27/03/2024 12:55

A horrible decision to have to make, very sorry for you loss Flowers

TheHorneSection · 27/03/2024 13:08

Sorry for your families loss. It sounds like it was very much the right decision x

Loopsielou · 27/03/2024 14:23

You made the right decision. Cats don't know how long their life will be. They live life one day at a time. He had a good short life. And that's ok x

Stickytreacle · 27/03/2024 15:07

Sorry to read your update, he was loved and cared for, and so many cats don't even get that opportunity nowadays. Xx

Motnight · 27/03/2024 16:06

I am so sorry for your loss, Op, but you have done the best possible thing for your cat

RayWinstone · 27/03/2024 17:42

Thanks so much everyone. We're all so upset but we've had a lovely funeral and we're looking after each other.

Here's a pic of him and his gorgeous spotty tummy when he was about 4 months old.

RIP Tybalt, Prince of Cats

Terrible dilemma
OP posts:
CheapThrillsMeanNothing · 27/03/2024 17:55

@RayWinstone
Sorry about the loss of your beautiful Tybalt, what a gorgeous cat.

RumNotRun · 27/03/2024 18:18

Sorry for your loss @RayWinstone He was a gorgeous boy.

Scampuss · 27/03/2024 19:21

So sorry, it's so tough, even when we know it's the right and best decision Flowers

Loopsielou · 27/03/2024 20:03

He was beautiful x

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