Tips to make my new 10mth kittens feel safe

[tortietimestwo]

We adopted two gorgeous tortie girls on the weekend. When we met them at the shelter they were very shy, but we fell in love with them even though we knew they might take a while to warm up.

We have them safely confined in their own room (as our house is not large the best option was the front room) with water fountain, food, litter trays and so on. Littlest cat had diarrhoea on first night from stress, poor baby, but since then they've been using the litter trays well and from yesterday started eating.

They had an explore the first day we brought them home and were tucked up in an igloo bed together, but for the past couple of days they've been squeezed into a tiny gap at the back of our bookcase (which we didn't even think they could get into!). We can barely even tell they're there.

I know they are coming out, mostly at night, as the food is being eaten and they're using the trays - although we were out for an hour last night and my husband caught them through the window enjoying the cat tree. The little monkeys scarpered back to their hidey hole the second they spotted him of course!

They are adjusting and I know hiding can be normal at first, but is there anything else I can do to help them feel safe to come out when we're there? We've tried putting items with our scent near them, we are giving them time in their room alone but also going in for short periods and chatting to them, having the TV on low etc. I know it might take a while, but I just hope there's nothing I'm doing wrong. I've used treats and a feather on a stick toy to try and tempt them out, but I think it's a bit early.

You just need to give them time. They will come out when they’re ready. When I fostered cats I used to go into the room they were hiding in and just either sit or read aloud to them. All of them came out in the end. One day they’ll forget they’re scared of you and then, with two torties, the fun will definitely begin!

@Chemenger Thank you for a kind and reassuring reply, that does make me feel better. I'll continue to go into their room and spend time in there as often as I can.

I agree, you're doing the right things, they will just take their own sweet time... they are lulling you into a false sense of security... glorious kitten madness awaits you!

I had a shy boy once who took whole month of cupboard-hiding, sneaking out at night for food and litter tray, but he was an extreme case, older and quite traumatised... But just as we were starting to despair, he turned up while we were eating one evening - put one paw solemnly on my husband's lap - then came over to me and did the same. We sat quietly, and he decided that yes, we would do, and he was a lap cat from then on. 😻 We still honour his illustrious memory.

Really, two tortie kittens... such joy... 😸😸

Aaahhh so cute! One of mine was a feral kitten so spent a month sleeping under the bookcase. We coaxed him out with toys - he loved the feather on a plastic fishing rod and one of those pyramids with little balls that whizz around the outside
Enjoy 😊

@Compash Ahhh how cute, putting out the paw. It always feels so rewarding when the shy ones finally choose you. Haha you probably are right - madam 1 had a very cheeky face on her when we spotted her on the cat tree through the window! I think she is going to be trouble when she finally emerges.

I went in there earlier and chatted to them and there was a bit of a crash behind the bookcase 😳 but I think they're fine, as someone just left a stinky poo in the litter tray and food and water have been consumed.

They'll get there :)

I always find it helpful to go in and sit and talk to them - no eye contact, just let them get used to your smell and your voice etc. Eventually (in my experience) one will pop out and have a sniff and a fuss, and then they're all over you lol.

@FloofCloud They are just adorable although I am starting to forget what they look like if not for pics! I have got to look into this whizzy pyramid toy, it sounds fun.

So my husband came home from work tonight with one of their old security cameras and we set it up in the room . While we were upstairs, they came out and were grooming themselves, eating, sitting on the sofa and leaping onto the cat tree. They're now chilling on it in front of the window.

It's nice to see them indulging in natural behaviours even if they aren't quite ready to come out around us yet.

Oh, so, so pretty. I do especially love a tortie. Two torties is even better!

Spend a lot of time in their room quietly chatting or with the television on low as you have been doing, and sooner or later they will come to you.

Love the photos

@CatChant We're in there right now with them 😊.

Thanks @Sunshineandrainbow they really are a pair of cuties. It was so sweet to see them on camera exploring the room even while they're still shy around us.

Update: sat in chair reading all last night like a statue and they did come out, quite a few times - to eat, explore and sit on their cat tree.

I made sure not to look at them and they scarper back under the sofa if you go anywhere near them, but it's progress. I'll just keep giving them time and sitting in their room when I can.

A friend who adopted a sibling pair of older kittens like yours from a shelter waited months, maybe four or five, before the cats came out of their shell, but when they did it was really worth it (they are cuddly big personalities now).

It's can be a really long game, so don't be disheartened if yours are not cuddly in a month, or two, or four. Hopefully it would be a lot less time than months but once they trust you, they will be very different. Just keep doing what you're doing and be prepared to be very patient.

Thanks @Woodenflooring just taking their lead. Both out again tonight roaming about. I'm sure it's a matter of time before curiosity gets the better of them.

Sounds like it's heading in the right direction! How old did you say they are btw? They may be taking comfort from each other rather than you at this stage, but when they realise you're Mum/provider of food/willing human slave, you will become a person of interest to them, I bet!

@Compash They are 10 months old furry bundles of joy. They were originally found abandoned on a farm, but they were taken into the shelter at 8-9 weeks old.

Aww. It makes me happy to think of the much nicer life they'll have with you! 🥰

I think they may be rethinking their 'nice life' this morning. Their eyes have had lots of yellow gunky stuff, so they both had to go to the vet this morning. They're not too unwell but have eye infections. We had a job getting hold of them to put them in the carriers, although they were fairly good at the vet. My poor husband got quite scratched when he had to hold them so I could give them their eyedrops afterwards. And we'll have to do it again tonight.

Poor babies, they must be so frightened. They've been underneath the armchair together since they got back. I did give them some treats but I'm now giving them some space. They were just starting to come out more and trust us, so I hope this unfortunate forced handling of them isn't going to set our relationship with them back too much.

Oh your poor DH. Try wrapping them in a thick towel so only their heads are poking out and hold the loose skin (the scruff) at the backs of their necks - just hold it, don’t let it take any of their weight - it’s where their mothers grip to carry them when they are tiny, and holding the scruff seems to calm them.

It’s unlucky that you have to give them eyedrops but it will only set back your timetable a little. It’s a very good sign that they were pottering about with you in the room.

They are lucky to have you.

Please don't hold them by their scruffs (even without putting weight on it) - once kittens reach 2-3 months of age it doesn't do anything beneficial, just frightens them and puts them in a state of fear.

For medication, wrap them up in a towel with all their legs/paws hidden away - like a burrito. It's a two man job but the safest way of doingit.

Here's an article about why you should never hold your cats by the scruff:

https://icatcare.org/our-campaigns/scruffing-position-statement/

I have read it, thank you, but I promise you I have never seen any signs of fear or distress, or even annoyance in my very much loved cats when using the technique, which I was taught by a vet many years ago. If I had I would have stopped immediately because I would rather be scratched than upset them.

But expert advice changes over time so I will certainly bear it in mind for the future.

I was rather horrified to be told a cone is now de rigueur for several days after spaying. We tried for a couple of hours and then concluded that it was better to just keep an eye on the kittens because the cones were making them very unhappy indeed.

We've tried the towel, they're too fast and panic too much. My husband's arms are now covered in scratches and one even bit him. After trial and error, we figured out the best way is to get one into the soft cat igloo, close it up then gently pull it down so their face is exposed, and their body is contained within it.

Using very high value treats didn't seem to have an effect either, but we did give them some afterwards and a while later they don't seem too unhappy.

It's really not nice to have to do this when they don't trust us. I'm sure any methods would work better once they do. Bless their little hearts.

Glad you’ve found a method that doesn’t involve too much suffering on your parts. I hope they are better soon. I am sure they will be comfortable with you in time.

Oh bless them... but it's possible they were hiding partly because they weren't feeling well (as cats do) and that they'll perk up once you've treated the problem... You'll get through this. We went through giardia and fleas and destruction and running away with our kittens... they grew up into loving, confident cats and all that stress was just a memory.