Talk to me about getting a first cat

[Lowin2024]

We are a family of 4, kids are 9 and 6. Both very calm, respectful children. Our youngest child is desperate for a pet. She is so caring of animals, we sometimes look after family’s dogs or visit friends houses with cats and she is distraught when parted from the animals. Shes sat next to me sobbing at the moment because our friends just left with their dog. Both DH and I keep coming back to the question of whether to get a family pet.

The only animal I would consider right now is a cat. A dog is too much responsibility for me right now with a full time job and I also know with a smaller pet like a rabbit or Guinea pig all the cleaning out will be left to me.

We have a garden and could get a cat flap put in so an outdoor cat would be fine. I’d prefer a rescue cat over a kitten. I have some concerns over scratching and furniture being destroyed. I don’t know how common it is for cats to do this if they have scratching posts. Costs to consider would be pet insurance, somewhere for the cat to stay IF we went away, cat food - anything else I’m not thinking about?

DH and I both love animals and think we would be happy to welcome a cat to our home but I don’t want to rush into a decision. So experienced cat owners, what do I need to think about and consider?

Best start with an older cat from a shelter that might be litter trained etc. Though be aware some shelters are really picky about where they home but it's worth a try. Black cats get picked less - sadly in part because they're hard to photograph well (I think they look amazing!) so aren't as social media friendly. So you'll be doing something good by taking a black cat.

Long-haired cats will need grooming, so shorthairs are easier.

You can't be sure how much a cat will scratch, if it will take to a scratching post (I've had 3 cats and none has liked a post, but also not been massively scratchy aside from one or two sofa or chair corners).

You generally can't be sure of getting a very cuddly or lap cat, or not while they're young. Our cat is 12 and she won't sit on people, but in the last few years she will at least sit next to you sometimes.

If you get a kitten, get two. They do much better with a friend. With regards to the other things you mentioned:

Get a micro-chip cat flap so other cats can't get in - you don't want a strange cat coming into your home and starting a fight or spraying.
Cats do scratch - it's part of their natural behaviour and IME it's impossible to prevent it completely. We have three cats and plenty of scratch posts but they still try and have a go at the sofa and the carpets unfortunately
Pet insurance - get lifetime cover and for the highest amount you can afford. Vets bills can get very expensive, very quickly - especially if they involve weekend or OOH care.
In terms of holidays - you can use a cattery or have someone come and visit your cat in your home. Costs for both are around £15-20 a day. Your cat will need to be fully up to date on jabs etc. to go to a cattery.
Food - costs will depend entirely on what your cat will deign to eat some food is better than others but cats are notoriously fussy so what you want them to eat may not be what they'll actually eat, lol. I pay around £40 a month on food for three cats, but one is a kitten so on a different food, and another needs urinary biscuits so that bumps the price up again. It could be done for less.

That's a lot of rambling, sorry

I will say as well that even outdoor cats need litter trays so you'll need to make sure you provide at least one (ideally two) in quiet areas of the house. Litter is pretty cheap luckily but it can be a gamble finding one they'll tolerate as some are harder on the paws than others.

Enjoy though - cats are the best!

Thanks for these responses! Really helpful and lots to think about

It'll be the best thing you ever do! Ps. The cat is in charge, you are merely there to obey orders.

Definitely get a slightly older rescue cat. My three were 5,18 months and 18 months respectively when I got them. Past the stage of shimmying up the curtains and the rescue will know about their personality.

Get lots of the cardboard scratcher things that sit flat on the floor. You can put catnip in them to encourage them to use them.

I think if you're out of the house all day it might be best to get a bonded pair for company for each other? I WFH and this lot are so used to someone being in the house most of the time.

If you're going to let the cat out, consider a catio. Your DD would be devastated if her cat got killed on the road, or went missing!

It sounds as if your daughter really wants a cuddly, lap sitting, bed sharing friend. If so I agree with others, go for an older cat or at least not a kitten. Rescues will have some idea of temperament and suitability. Some rescues have cats in foster homes so that would be even better as they are more home like environments and the fosterer will really have an idea of what the cat is like. With a kitten you just can't predict personality and she may be very disappointed if you end up with an aloof, standoffish cat that isn't interested in her.

I second being careful about an outdoor cat if you love near a road. Consider a catio or cat proofing your garden. It may be expensive but well worth it.. My poor young (autistic, sensitive, animal loving) great niece lost 2 kittens/young cats to road accidents and was absolutely devastated.

As for scratching, it's inevitable but lots of cat trees & various types of scratchers help. TemporaryCat likes coir doormats.

Thanks so much for all these ideas. We have a garden gate but I kind of assumed that a cat would be able to jump over it? We live on a private road which is very quiet - lots and lots of cats out and about and no accidents that I know of, but of course a cat could wander further afield.

Yes she really does want a cuddly lap sitting friend ❤️ so I’d love to find her a friendly older cat if we can.

Another vote for older rescue cat. Its core personality will be known, whether it's friendly or aloof, okay or not-okay with children (some cats don't like being pestered a lot or are generally sensitive), fine with being picked up or not, etc. If the cat comes from a known-previous-owner (who perhaps moved abroad or died) it might also be known whether the cat is keen user of scratching posts, or a roamer, or an active hunter, or fighty with other cats.

In short, cats' personalities and habits can vary significantly, so really consider what's important to you. For example, best to get a non-roamer so that it stays close to home and doesn't go beyond the safety of the private road.

Also be aware that the vast majority of cats hate moving, as in being taken to the vet etc. So the best solution to holidays would be having someone either house-sitting or a reliable neighbour coming over at least twice a day for feeding. Cats may be independent, but they're also loving creatures and can become very attached to their owner(s) so can get lonely, too.

And when the cat first arrives at your home, you must confine it to one quiet room for at least a week, as it'll be freaked at the change of environment, and one room is less overwhelming than a whole house. And do not allow it go outside for a month. It has to learn that this is 'home'. After that, supervised outdoors, until it's clear that the cat understands 'home' and will return to you.

P.S. This is the best scratching post I've found. You need one where the cat can fully stretch its body length when scratching; most of them aren't high enough, so the sofa gets it instead.
https://www.petplanet.co.uk/p17848/smartcatultimate_scratching_post.aspx
Edit: there's a slightly more attractive grey version but it's £20 more
https://www.pjpetproducts.co.uk/product/smartcat-ultimate-scratching-post-grey/

If they're not very active, you might need to clip your cat's claws, or to book a vet visit for it to be done. I certainly hadn't factored this in. My cat's claws needed this about once a month as they were always getting caught on the carpet (some carpets are worse than others for this too)! I was never brave enough to do it myself (blood vessels in claws), so found a mobile groomer (who was a vet nurse) to come to mine and do it. Didn't cost much and she would administer the flea treatment and worming tablet for me too. Cat didn't enjoy it though, not least as it was their territory.

Some owners (not all) try and clean their cats teeth. Cats that need their teeth cleaned properly - won't be needed often, but this is expensive as it's under anesthetic.

Tablets and things are a bloody nightmare. There are clever ways to administer medication (some of which I've seen on this board). If you're a novice, try and avoid one already needing regular medications every day ...

Cats into carriers - ditto. I have heard ones that open at the top might be easier to get an affronted cat into. Again, tips on this board.

With my cat and any I've catsat, I've found girl cats stay close to home (300 yards ish) when they are outside. Not necessarily true of all - ? I have also found that girl cats often like to be walked and this will have you looking like a berk in your cul de sac as the cat is in the bush having a sniff and you just look like you are standing there talking to a hedge ....

But for all the hassle, man, I miss my lovely lovely lovely DCat ❤

Oh, and look up poisonous food and flowers - things you'd normally have in a home are dangerous to cats (onions and lilies and things like that).

Some cats will leave flowers and what-not alone, whilst some will be chewing everything!

We have two adorable rescues spoilt bastards

Be well aware of the costs: £20 insurance (when young, it increases exponentially when they reach 7), flea and worm treatments: £12ish, vaccinations £4.50, food £60 (ours get encore, applause, hills science biscuits), cat feeding when away (£20 per day x15 days/12)

I've tried to work it out monthly, so £140pcm ish each.

Please go into it aware of the costs and the fact that you will bear them for 15 to 20 years.

Great decision to get a cat! They are amazing. I wouldn't rule out getting a kitten or younger cat if you have a chance to interact a bit first and talk to their current caregiver, as in my experience you can see their personality from a young age e.g. if they are happy with handling. We got our younger cat as a kitten and I cherish the photos of her snuggling up to me before we had adopted her yet.

PS yes they do scratch fabric though. But not velvet - so I would get lots of velvety throws for sofas etc! You will also be besotted and perhaps sacrifice some items willingly...

Friendly older rescues are the way ahead. I've had a few (in addition to the other cats) and they are just lovely to have around.

All my cats are/have been outdoors / if they are neutered (and female more so) they tend not to go very far at all.

I've referenced the other cats because...once you've got one it's ridiculously easy to add another one. Or two.

My velvet sofa would say otherwise - it's ruined!

Oh no! Scratch that then - perhaps our sofa is on borrowed time!

TBF only two of my cats have ever scratched it - the other two prefer the living room carpet

Cats are adorable but not cheap. Get an adolescent or adult from a rescue, DSH is good and get a black cat because there's so many. We paid £80 to adopt from RSPCA and I pay £13 to vet plus about £15 insurance each month, plus food etc so not cheap. You can try to encourage scratching posts with catnip but at the end of the day cats just do what they bloody well want, and you serve them.