Advice on leaving a Siberian

[LadyAgathaB]

We have a beautiful Siberian 4yo cat. With us she is very sociable and affectionate, but she’s not a ‘lap cat.’ She likes to be near us and sleeps with me and dh every night.

but she is very scared of everyone else! She hides whenever even regular visitors come over.

our dilemma is what to do when we go away. We tried a cat sitter but she hid from the sitter for an entire week! We have resorted to asking neighbours to pop in to feed her, but she doesn’t eat much and I worry that she gets bored and lonely as she doesn’t have any contact for days.

when we are away she is not allowed out either, so she will be much more bored than normal.

We are currently limiting holidays to 4 nights away max, but this just seems unsustainable - it means no family holidays for dc’s entire childhood!

has anyone had a similar situation, and what steps did you take to remedy it? (Felliway doesn’t work)

Have you trained her to a leash? If so, take her with you

Photo for cat tax

She won’t take a leash, unfortunately. She will not tolerate it for a second

Oh what a cutie. This is our Siberian.
We have two 'usual' cat-sitters. They open up her catio, then work in our spare room, then close it up at the end of the day.
They never see her, but the neighbours say they've seen her from the outside.

Does she have a cat flap? That will give her much more to do and not limit her life so much when you are away.

Havd you tried a cat/house sitter? (You said cat sitter but mine just visit to feed so unsure what you mean). If you keep using the same person eventually the cat will get used to them!

Or would she be ok at a cattery? One of mine was terrified when he went on his own (but fine when he went with my other cat; only went alone once the other one died) but the others have been ok with them.

@JohnLapsleyParlabane what a beauty!

Can you leave her at a cattery? Some have huge places/crates for them to stay, and also leave them in a catio for a few hours.

My cat is so loving with us but also hides with guests, so we prefer to leave him at a cattery.

@HappyHolidai we did have a house sitter yes, and I think it was just too much for her to have another person in the space all the time. It doesn’t help that she sleeps in our room, which is also the only room a house sitter could sleep in.

how do you find the cattery? And how can you tell if your cat is ok? I feel like she would hate it but I might be wrong

We have to give her a sedative even to take her to the vet for a checkup so I don’t know if she would be ok at a cattery

I'm a cat sitter and look after a really nervous cat who always hides when I do my visits. But the owners also have a camera and say he's absolutely fine - he just comes out when I go.

One day I remember doing a visit and having to bring the bin out afterwards - the cat thought I'd left and when he saw me walking past the front door he panicked and dive-bombed onto the sofa

The owners leave the cats in my care for three weeks while they go overseas and there's never been a problem.

Cattery.

I have a very highly strung cat, if she doesn't like something she has a painful bladder and wees everywhere.

I tried cat sitter. It was my mum who she actually likes. Cat hid and the bladder issues took weeks to solve when we got back.

Cattery is fine. She spends a week hiding under a blanket, just coming out to eat. But when she gets home she is back to normal in a couple of hours and no bladder stress problems. Doesn't matter which cattery to the cat.

People often post on here 'my cat wouldn't like cattery' - well my cat doesn't like ANYTHING but sometimes I have to go away. She hates being at home without me, more than being in the cattery.

Ooh @AnnaMagnani that is so interesting - how did you find the cattery?

@catelynjane thank you, that’s a really useful perspective. I don’t want to get a camera in case I see her miaowing for us! Stupid I know! Perhaps we just need to suck it up and say we are going to go away so we will have to make it work somehow

@LadyAgathaB I suspect most cats don't love when their owners go away but they generally just get on with it.

I always check on this one and 99% of the time he's hiding in a corner avoiding eye contact with me, lol. But this past visit I did get a couple of sniffs and he did let me stroke him - it's very very slow progress but your cat may surprise you!

I've used various catteries over the years and some are better than others, but ask for local recommendations.

Cat unbothered by cattery is just exactly the same as at home; not hiding. When cats have been unhappy they've trembled on arrival (awful and I had to leave him 😿), or hidden for the entirety of the stay, or been nervy and upset on return (the one time I took my super-confident cat to a cattery with kennels and dogs barked all the time).

What I look for in a cattery is an owner who really loves cats and is kind. And a quiet environment in the immediate vicinity. Far more important than fancy facilities.

@LadyAgathaB Isn’t that unusual for a Siberian? Ours were more like dogs than cats in their friendliness!
I think a daily cat visit would suffice as then she’s looked after physically but not too stressed. And if she was unwell or stuck someone would be checking in.

@fourelementary yes it is unusual!. We got her in February 2020 so although she wasnt a Covid cat I think the lockdowns essentially meant she never socialised with anything except us for a long time. But she is very sociable and likes company so I would love for us to be able to find someone else she could hang out with

I literally just took them to the nearest cattery.

She's been to at least 3 different catteries in her life, possibly more. Some look nicer than others, some seem to have more cat-devoted owners.

But honestly I think they all look the same if you are hiding under a blanket!

I have a scaredy-cat as well, who loves my company. I either go away for a short period (under 6 days), in which case I get a cat sitter to drop in once or twice a day, or go away for 2 weeks.

For the 2 weeks option I get a cat sitter to live in - 5 days seems to be the breaking point for my cat when she gets so lonely that she gets brave enough to be visible and interact, at which point she loves her sitter.

I do 2 weeks just to get the full benefit - if I was away e.g. 8 days I'd have all the hassle of a live-in person, for 5 days of the cat being stressed with a stranger and 3 days of her being ok.

It's all a bit of a pain but I work around it. I couldn't bring myself to put her in a cattery, she is a twice-over rescue and really hates going in a carrier and leaving the house.