Is it time to say goodbye to my beloved cat?

[Cheesehound]

I’d really appreciate some thoughts/advice.

My beautiful old boy is 16 or possibly a few years older - RSPCA were unsure of his exact age when I adopted him. He’s had hyperthyroidism for a couple of years and has needed daily Thyronorm.

A few months ago he needed an overnight stay in hospital with dehydration as he hadn’t eaten for over 24 hours. Since then he’s been well (eating, drinking, going in and out of the house) but over the last fortnight or so has lost a noticeable amount of weight. He didn’t eat at all yesterday and vomited some clear fluid so I took him to the vets today. He’s had bloods done and his weight loss was confirmed. The vet suggested his kidneys might not be functioning well and noted that one felt larger than the other when she examined him. She wasn’t really sure what to say except that he is old and asked me what I want to do. He hasn’t eaten again today but was very thirsty after the appointment and has had a drink.

I love my boy dearly. I don’t want to cut his life short but I also don’t want him to suffer. I don’t want him to be in pain. He’s brought so much joy and fun into my life over the years and he deserves to end his life in a dignified way. Has anyone been in a similar position and can offer some thoughts/advice?

Usually when the vet asks you what you want to do it means they don't want to be the first person to suggest euthanasia 🤷‍♀️

Having said goodbye to cats and a dog at about the age of 16, although I wasn't sure at the time - like you are - I have never looked back and thought "I wish I had waited a bit longer" it has always been the other way around. I have occasionally felt I should have made the decision sooner.

As long as you stay with them at the end and keep talking to them, or even have the vet come to your house to do it if the animal is particularly nervous, I think a few days "too" early is better than than "too" late.

I'm so sorry you have reached the tough end of sharing your life with a cat.

I agree that the vet asking you what you want to do is probably a sign, but I would turn that question around and ask the vet, if this was your cat, what would you do? I always find you get a more open response that way. There are always tests and interventions and medications you can try, but the vet is wary of spending your money if it isn't going to have a clear result. Ask them what they would do and take your lead from that.

Thankyou. I’m going to call the vets tomorrow and ask to speak with her over the phone. I wish it felt like a definite thing - another of our cats had to be pts last year after very sudden loss of movement in their back legs. As heartbreaking as it was, really the decision was made for me as there was nothing else to be done.

If you decide not to do it just yet, who would you be doing that for?

I understand that it's easier to do it when the suffering is more obvious but remember that cats are good at hiding just how bad it is. As @kittylion2 said, better too early than too late.

It's probably the hardest thing we have to do for our animals but it's also the kindest. I wish you strength @Cheesehound

I've asked this same question on MN before and have come to the conclusion that if you're asking, you know deep down that it's time to say goodbye. I had to do it twice in 3 months for my elderly puss-cats and for almost exactly the same reasons as you. A most un-mumsnetty hug for you OP. x

I love my boy dearly. I don’t want to cut his life short but I also don’t want him to suffer

This is the essence isn't it . It's his quality of life that's important . Animals really only think about today (and their next meal ) you;re right in thinking you don't want him to suffer . You're not cutting his life , you;re releasing him.

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I think phoning the vet is a good idea. The vet told me all my cats best days are behind him and he had pain ahead. I think that was what I needed to hear because up until then I really wasn't sure what to do. It's much better if the vet is honest with you. I think I'd ask are all his good days behind him now? Does he just have pain ahead? If vet said yes I'd PTS. So sorry you have this situation.

I think when vets say "what do you want to do" it's a kind way of saying they think it's time.

I'm so sorry. It's shit.

Are there more tests the vet could do? If funds allow of course and if your boy isn't too distressed by vet visits.

We were in a similar position with our old girl and the next steps were in patient care with more fluids and testing. By then she'd been to the vets every day for a week having steroids and appetite stimulants that didn't work. We could see how much it was distressing her and she was slowly losing herself and choosing to just sit behind the sofa facing the wall 😔
With the vets advice we decided to give her peace and have her PTS. I felt terrible for a while that I hadn't done enough, but in hindsight it was definitely the kindest thing to let her go.

16 - or more - is a good long life. Although it's never enough for us is it 💔

Sending love xx