How to get my gorgeous cats to get along!

[Canthave2manycats]

Have just today (ok yesterday!) adopted theee most gorgeous boy! Half Maine Coon, half ragdoll. I took a chance because we already have a part Maine Coon gorgeous tortie and white girl and a short-haired tortie and white girl and they barely tolerate each other! I had hoped adopting a boy might defuse the tension but I'm not sure now that it will!! Tortie and white long-haired girl has already pissed on a sofa after seeing new boy. Other girl hasn't met him yet.

Fuck, what have I done! Any advice??

Keep them separate for a while. And scent swap, so they get used to each other's smell. One of mine had the rub of the house immediately, because resident cat met her when we arrived home, and visibly relaxed when she saw her. (Didn't like being an only) so I took a chance and it was fine. The second time I kept them separate, but existing cat knew she was there and would insist on going into her room. The new cat was very nervous so it took a while.

First off, you need to post a picture of them all! 😉

When we introduced an adult male to our resident adult female we just let them get on with, which I know goes against everything you're supposed to do with cats.

But they were absolutely fine. Never had a single fight, slept together, shared food bowls, shared litter trays and when our lovely girl passed away our boy grieved for her for weeks,

We then introduced a new kitten and he took to him within minutes.

My furbabies 😻

It took us so long with the two girlcats, and even now the long-haired one is fascinated with the short-haired girl, and runs after her, leading to spats!! The lady has taken herself off upstairs and other than attacking him through the glass on the French doors, they haven't had an encounter yet.

Have had the other girl and the new boy in the same room for a few hours now. She growls at him if he goes near her, but he retreats, so maybe that's good?

I wouldn't mind - but I've had cats all my life and never found it so hard for them to get on!! How do they manage cats in rescues? All three of them came from rescue!!

Unfortunately in rescues cats are often isolated in pens on their own and never meet/see other cats unless they arrived there together.

I personally don't see growling or hissing as a problem as long as its' respected by the other cat.

How on earth was one of those pics sensitive content?! I’ve toyed with the idea of a big soppy male to help calm things here but I’ve decided not to rock the boat as my pair hate each other.
Start with them in separate rooms? Scent swap and time with each. Feliway?

I always just gave separate litter trays and fed in separate rooms initially. The boss cat was pretty secure in himself though, and quickly let newcomers know he was first to get attention/ had his pick of food bowls. No one was ever daft enough to argue with him though - I’ve no idea how it’d have gone if I ever introduced another top-cat.

My first adoptee was from Cats Protection and I think she was in a pen (wasn't allowed in, Covid rules!) but the other two are from a small local charity and they're all in together. There were maybe 20 cats in the room when I got my boy yesterday!

Yes, the growling is better than the physical stuff...! Tortie 2 goes after Tortie 1, who hisses and then they whack each other, before #2 runs away. This boy seems to retreat meekly, which is hopefully going to work better - but I still have to introduce him to #1!!!

Yes I don't know how that happened!!

They've all got separate rooms allocated, kitchen/utility, family and now dining room (running out of rooms now lol!) I'm doing the scent swap thing, and Feliway was useless before sadly!

I'll let you know if it works out because I did decide to rock the boat!

We have three (unrelated) neutered males in the house now - the worst bit of "aggression" we've ever had was the first time the kitten was big enough to jum up and eat out of the 3yo's bowl. He got a growl, a hiss and a swift smack into the sink.

Our kitten then ran off to our older boy (who's eight) for comfort the 3 year old looked a bit surprised with himself and never did it again, lol. I'm still not sure what triggered it as they'd been sharing dry food, litter trays and beds since day one with no issues - maybe the 3yo was just extra hungry that day!

Is it genuine aggression or is it just rough play?

Ours still smack each other and chase each around - it's 100% play and has never once escalated into anything worse.

I still can't figure that out margotrose! And they're here coming 2 years! I think Ms Floof might want to play and Ms Lady doesn't want to know? Then sometimes it does look more aggressive - her hissing is pretty full-on. They've only had a fullscale fur flying fight once not long after they came here, but there's been blood drawn!

Which is where Mr Floof comes in - we thought he might play with Ms Floof and that would give Ms Lady peace!

Is the blood being drawn by the one who doesn't want to play?

Both of them but more so by the one that does! She can be a bit bitey/scratchy too - loves a good chow down on our arms (doesn't hurt) but will lash out when overstimulated. They both do! They're a conundrum! That's what I get having 2 feisty tortie and white girls I suppose! I've had a number over the years but all of them were related to each other!

Bless them! It sounds like they're maybe both quite feisty girls and so it's more "handbags" than anything serious, especially if you've only ever had one bad fight since they've been together.

Progress has been made!! DCat 2 and DCat 3 are both sleeping a couple of feet apart!! They sniffed noses earlier too, with no aggression at all!! I think the fact that he's so laidback he's horizontal is helping - she realises he will just walk away, and she's still the alpha! Now for DCat 1... they have met, not got very close yet. She takes herself off up to a nice comfy bed upstairs!

Aw, that's fab news! Paws crossed they're all rubbing noses soon :)

I'd forgotten about this thread!

Well DCat2 and DCat3 have really bonded! They play together, sometimes sleep together and they groom each other.

The other lady hates them both!

@Canthave2manycats Greetings - if someone has mentioned this bloke/utuber already, I apologise as Ive only read bits of the thread - hes a cat behavioural specialist - DD22 alerted me - he’s fab - hope this helps with the situation https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hyVFbLFOGv8

Sometimes putting butter on the newcomers ears works. Don't ask me why. You could get some cat nip, they'll all get stoned together 😁

I've tried all of the above! Unfortunately Miss Prim was found straying in a city centre, and I guess other cats became the enemy. It's such a shame because the other two just wanted to be friends with her - I think it's merged into aggression now with DCat2, because she just runs at her to pounce! They never get a chance to fight because we step in - sometimes I do wonder if we should leave them to sort it out between them!

We're just mostly keeping them apart now. We've had the first two more than 2 years now, and the youngest one for 8 months.

That's what we did, and it worked a treat with DCat2 - they have bonded so much! It's heartwarming. We never realised how much she needed a little pal! It could of course have been a total disaster!

I’m tempted! So glad it worked out for you. Mine are 9 now. Worried about driving the sweet one away completely!