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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Neighbours kitten

94 replies

MerryCheesemas · 20/12/2023 21:48

I live on a main road and our back door go out onto a garden. The neighbours a few doors down from us have recently acquired a kitten. They do not have access to the rear of the house like we do. They have 5 young children so have a lot on, and don’t have a cat flap. The kitten has been allowed to roam freely since about 12 weeks old. We were convinced the poor thing would be run over by now but he has realised that our garden is a fun place to hang out and it smart enough to a oidthe road.
The kitten is often locked out of his own house all day as they don’t have a cat flap. We found him curled up on our frosty trampoline several days in a row during the last cold snap so we’ve put a cat shelter at the bottom of the garden so he has a dry warm place to sleep when locked out. He’s in there every day now from 8am to 4pm.

So my issue: I reckon the kitten is around 20 weeks old now. He’s not been castrated yet. I don’t know if the neighbours have any intention of getting him done and the last thing I want is an uncastrated male cat hanging around.
Should he have had the op by now? And how do I approach this with the neighbours? They’re not exactly neighbourly people (there’s lots of drug dealers coming and going) but they’re not unpleasant either. I just don’t trust them to act in this cats best interests.

OP posts:
Original poster
MerryCheesemas · 21/12/2023 11:00

I’m not sure I’m doing anything wrong by giving him some biscuits when he’s locked out of the house for 8 or 9 hours. I’ve had enough cats in my lifetime to know they need small regular when they’re little.
We don’t feed him everyday - just when the weather is foul.

OP posts:
toastedcrumpetsrock · 21/12/2023 11:01

Yes I do agree - I think I'm just so fed up of all the 'this perfectly fine cat who happened to be in my garden must be lost so I'll have him' local posts that my judgement is skewed- I'm also ill and grumpy

Original poster
MerryCheesemas · 21/12/2023 11:17

Hope you feel better soon Toasted

we’ve been wrangling with the ethics of this for weeks, firstly when he was tiny and outside all the time, then he was covered in fleas, now he’s stuck outside all day and evening.

OP posts:
Dutch1e · 21/12/2023 11:34

I would speak with them.

Our well-meaning neighbour snatched up our intact male cat and whisked him off to the vet in a very similar fashion. She also looks down her nose at us without bothering to ever stop in for a cuppa to get to know us.

The vet gave her a bollocking, kept the cat, and phoned us immediately. She (the vet) had made the unusual recommendation to us of delaying neutering as a last-ditch attempt to help resolve his chronic urinary infections.

A 5 minute chat would have made the day much less complicated all round.

BungleandGeorge · 21/12/2023 11:44

It’s usually about 5/6 months for neutering males but generally kittens of that age wouldn’t be roaming so not an issue. They will do ferals etc earlier as there’s obviously a risk of mating.
whatever the reason males aren’t neutered they shouldn’t be allowed to roam. They’re potentially fathering huge amounts of unwanted kittens who often will have a miserable life and they’re prone I fighting and wandering

Isheabastard · 21/12/2023 11:46

I dont know if you could think up a story to tell to the neighbours to get to know more about him and their attitude to him.

Perhaps tell them you heard a terrible cat fight and think you saw their cat being beaten up by the neighbourhood thug who is a tomcat.

So is their cat ok? (while you know he is safely tucked up in his cat shelter).
And did they know he’d better off getting neutered as Tom cats don’t like other toms in their territory.

Then tell them if/where it can be done etc. Cost (unless you can find out if they are on UC) then I think they may be able to do it free. Perhaps a rescue would help? You could even offer to ferry him to the vets for them.

If their attitude stinks, you will feel better about ‘rescuing’ him. As others have said he may not always be shut out, but just doesn’t like being around so many kids.

Original poster
MerryCheesemas · 21/12/2023 12:08

If 6 months is the usual time for castration, perhaps I need to sit tight for another couple of months and keep an eye on him.

OP posts:
CatChant · 21/12/2023 12:29

Covered in fleas, tiny and left outside without food…OP, you are definitely not doing anything wrong by trying to make his life better.

Iamacatslave · 21/12/2023 13:37

Thank you for looking after this little man. I think he may have adopted you.

Dutch1e · 21/12/2023 15:43

Just popping back in to say that I sounded resentful up there (I am a bit) but it is definitely not aimed at you OP, or at anyone who wants to help a struggling kitty.

Only that a gentle chat to ask if they could use a bit of support from a fellow cat-fan might not hurt.

Allergictoironing · 21/12/2023 17:28

Current thinking is 4 months for neutering, provided the cat has reached a minimum weight.

I haven't seen @thecatneuterer around for a bit, but she will have great advice if you can get hold of her as she works with Celia Hammond.

Original poster
MerryCheesemas · 21/12/2023 17:55

Thank you, that’s useful advice. Kitten was quite little for a long time but he’s had a growth spurt and is growing fast now.
Let’s collectively cross our fingers and hope the neighbours have just been waiting until he’s heavier.
I don’t mind him as a garden buddy but those cajones have to go!

OP posts:
Blankspace4 · 22/12/2023 02:03

The poor thing. I actually agree with the prior posters advice to take him in next time the poor mite is shut outside for hours and take him in to the cats protection or similar. It will probably be days before they even realise he’s gone and you can only hope he will find a better home 🥹

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 22/12/2023 02:15

Straws’s better in case it freezes. Blankets can kill them 🙁

StBrides · 22/12/2023 02:52

Hay is better than straw. Straw is hollow which in theory is insulting but it's easily crushed, rendering it useless.

You can also get heated pads which you heat in the microwave, they work like hot water bottles - I used them with a stray until I could get him to a rescue and he loved them.

Feliway might be a good idea for your Very Cross Cat

Original poster
MerryCheesemas · 22/12/2023 09:13

A little update.
As soon as the kitchen lights went on this morning he charged straight through our cat flap. He was absolutely soaking.
DD says the lights were all off at his house and the eldest child wasn’t at the bus stop. It looks like they’re all in bed still.
No idea if he’s been out all night or what.
He’s currently sat in a cardboard box in my kitchen, drying himself.

OP posts:
arewedoneyet · 22/12/2023 09:14

MerryCheesemas · 22/12/2023 09:13

A little update.
As soon as the kitchen lights went on this morning he charged straight through our cat flap. He was absolutely soaking.
DD says the lights were all off at his house and the eldest child wasn’t at the bus stop. It looks like they’re all in bed still.
No idea if he’s been out all night or what.
He’s currently sat in a cardboard box in my kitchen, drying himself.

I feel so sorry for him and think he's so lucky to have found your family

Whiskeypowers · 22/12/2023 09:22

He’s a beautiful little cat. I loathe people who get animals as pets and basically abuse and neglect them.
@MerryCheesemas he knows you are a kind person and has in the interest of surviving sought you ought. Cats are not stupid! I would do the same thing. My three princesses would not welcome a house or garden guest but how could anyone ignore a kitten’s plight.

if it were me I would take him to my vets and explain the situation and your concerns. They can check him over, advise on the best time for neutering and also check to see if he’s chipped fat chance of that I expect

Original poster
MerryCheesemas · 22/12/2023 09:26

My old boy cat is happily snoozing on the sofa so I can keep the little one in the kitchen without any problem at the moment.

OP posts:
CatChant · 22/12/2023 10:50

I am so glad he has you to look out for him @MerryCheesemas. You are a good person and I wish there were more people like you in the world.

Blankspace4 · 22/12/2023 14:37

Keep him OP 💙 so cruel to let a tiny kitten roam like that in all weathers. Are they even feeding it correctly I wonder

Shootin · 22/12/2023 14:59

Redburnett · 21/12/2023 08:08

Pretend you think he is a stray and take him to your local cat rescue centre.

My thoughts exactly.
Your neighbour sounds like one of mine across the street. Poor thing was out all night. I use to feed it sometimes when it came through our cat flap, (looked very thin) but my 3 cats would chase it off!!
I would put cat biscuits out on the doorstep (neighbour) when I knew they were out.
It got to the point where I was going to take it to our animal sanctuary but sadly it got run over and killed.
Really annoyed with myself that I didn’t do this.

Original poster
MerryCheesemas · 23/12/2023 16:07

Another update: kitten has just strolled through my living room and jumped up onto the windowsill. Old boy cat watched him, but for once, didn’t hiss and spit.
He’s moving in, isn’t he? 😂

OP posts:
Circlingthesun · 23/12/2023 16:43

Yes so keep him, I hate seeing animals distressed and obviously his owners don't care.

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