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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

My poorly cat hates me, help!

12 replies

Sumotwins · 20/11/2023 22:28

I have two cats that are approximately seven months old, I am unsure of the actual age as the breeder that I bought them from (they are siblings) told me they were eight weeks old when I bought them. However, the vet said there was no way they were as old as that and we’re probably more like six weeks.
I have a female and a male, both of had a persistent diarrhoea since they were brought home. I am reluctant to keep changing their food as this can apparently make that even worse, so I have gradually change the food over the last five months to things that I’ve been told are more suitable for their breed such as the lilies kitchen food as it is 100% green free, it appears to make no difference.
Both cats had not had their vaccinations when I got them, but had both courses of both jags once they came home.
The vet said she’s not sure what’s going on, but could possibly be cat Crohn’s disease.
The female cat has recently gone in for surgery and had 500 mils of fluid drained from her abdomen.
She absolutely hates me! The boy car is great. He accepts that when he’s had diarrhoea, I need to wipe his feet. I need to wipe his tummy and I need to clean up the mess. She however gets very angry scratches me, bites me, hisses at me and now appears to be scared whenever I go near her.
I don’t know what to do to make it better for her, after months of me, having to bath her wash the poo out of her fur, isolate her to a room because she was blowing diarrhoea everywhere. I think she has never gonna feel safe around me, as I’m the one who always seems to either isolate her or cause her grief.
How can I repair the kitty-mum, Relationship and make things better for her?

OP posts:
Abergale · 21/11/2023 07:21

If the cats got chrones is it’s condition likely to improve? Does it have a decent quality of life? It doesn’t sound like it if it’s had constant shits and is scared of you. If this is likely to be for life I’d consider putting it to sleep at this point tbh.

next time don’t buy cats from dodgy breeders.

margotrose · 21/11/2023 07:29

The poor thing is probably in pain and terrified of being picked up and cleaned every time she goes to the toilet. Bless her.

What tests has the vet done to try and find a cause for their diarrhoea? Have you tried hypoallergenic or hydrolysed foods?

Sumotwins · 21/11/2023 11:34

I didn’t know she was a dodgy breeder! She actually came on recommendation from someone else that has bought from her who I later found out has problems with her cats too.
vet says that it is a life long condition that won’t ever resolve fully.

OP posts:
margotrose · 21/11/2023 11:44

The vet needs to do some proper tests to figure out what's wrong - just saying "well it might be Chrons disease" isn't really good enough.

If you're going to end up with cats who have permanent diarrhoea then unfortunately you may have some tough decisions to make, especially for the female who is clearly very unhappy.

BluebellsForest · 21/11/2023 11:49

She doesn't hate you, she is scared and in pain. If your current vet is not helping enough, see a referral vet (specialist).

BluebellsForest · 21/11/2023 11:50

Your priority has to be her ill health, not your relationship with her.

Sumotwins · 21/11/2023 13:25

You are making an assumption there. My priority IS her health and I have explained that I want her to be better and make things easier for her.
Surely that includes her psychological health, it’s not making the bowel situation any better if she is petrified of the person providing her care and having to bathe her etc.
I also think I am justified in not wanting to be scratched/ bitten when I am providing said care.
what is the alternative? That I leave her covered in shite so as to not distress her?
I also don’t want her being so scared of me and the kids that she scratches or bites them

OP posts:
margotrose · 21/11/2023 13:47

Ultimately if her poor health is leaving her distressed and in pain, then the kindest thing to do is have her put to sleep.

BluebellsForest · 21/11/2023 16:15

Sumotwins · 21/11/2023 13:25

You are making an assumption there. My priority IS her health and I have explained that I want her to be better and make things easier for her.
Surely that includes her psychological health, it’s not making the bowel situation any better if she is petrified of the person providing her care and having to bathe her etc.
I also think I am justified in not wanting to be scratched/ bitten when I am providing said care.
what is the alternative? That I leave her covered in shite so as to not distress her?
I also don’t want her being so scared of me and the kids that she scratches or bites them

If she is in pain and having ongoing diarrhoea, that needs sorting before you can repair your relationship with her.

Sumotwins · 21/11/2023 16:46

And I haven’t suggest that I’m not doing that. I have said in my op that I’ve been to the vets ( several times may I add)! Both cats have also had three courses of additional panacure above their usual anti-parasitic, blood tests, and for the girl also abdomen drainage under GA. All of which was not covered by my insurance, so where am I not making her health my priority exactly?
I simply want to also not have a scared beyond gods green earth that I am going to harm her.
I am expecting a call back from the vet tomorrow morning to see what else can be done for her and I am will to do whatever needed to get her well and prevent her from suffering.
I wouldn’t be on here asking for advice if I didn’t care for her well-being.
jeezo

OP posts:
BluebellsForest · 21/11/2023 21:20

You're being very defensive, OP. I get that it's horribly stressful having an ill pet, but I'm not having a go. Pursue a proper diagnosis and if treatment is possible then you can go from there.

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