Anxious cat

[ChotHocolate]

Hi everyone, I have an almost 5 year old cat who we have had for nearly 4 years since he was a year old. We got him from the RSPCA but they didn't have any background on him and didn't tell us much about him at all, other than they think he was abandoned and he was extremely stressed in the cattery so they put him in a foster home.

The foster carers told us he was lovely but timid but they think that once he's settled somewhere he'd be completely fine.

He is an extremely timid and anxious cat. Scared of absolutely everything. We have a nice quiet home just myself and my boyfriend. We have never so much as raised our voices at him, we are very gentle with him, we only stroke him on his terms and leave him alone when he wants his own space etc. he can go anywhere he wants in the house and has access to outdoors.

He isn't so bad with me, but he is still terrified of my boyfriend even after nearly 4 years. If dcat is in the room and my boyfriend walks in, dcat panics and quickly looks for an escape route before running off as fast as he can. We absolutely adore him and I desperately want him to be happy. It breaks my heart that he seems so anxious. Even if he is asleep and hears a noise he is on high alert and I see the panic in his body language before he runs off. It's like he sees everything as a potential threat and danger. For example if he is asleep next to me on the bed and i breathe in loudly (as if I'm about to sigh) he will jump up and scarper off.

We don't mind that we don't have a "typical" cat or a lap cat. We love him for who he is and we respect him always. But I worry that he isn't thriving. I ask myself is he happy? It can't be nice always being triggered so easily and never able to fully relax. And what about if we have children.. how will dcat cope?

I am wondering about medication. What I dont want is for it to zonk him out and make him sleepy and kind of not with it. I just wondered if there's anything that the vet could prescribe like anti anxiety medication that could just allow him to live a more calm and relaxed life without affecting his cognitive function? We don't want it to negatively affect other parts of him.

If anyone has any experience on this with your own cat and any success stories, that would be great. Please don't suggest rehoming him because he is our family and this is his home and we have no intentions of doing that. He doesn't spend his days hiding away, he always comes running in when I shout him from outside, he isn't constantly living in fear in the house. However his anxiety is triggered at the drop of a hat and we really want to help him.

Personally I would give Zylkene a go. It's available for dogs and cats and is all natural. We've used it on our beagle with great success - you can get it on Amazon.

I'm sorry your boy is so anxious. My oldest cat is a rescue and he was like this for months until he settled. Good luck!

Our little rescue is a bag of nerves although she's slowly getting better. We too are very quiet and unlike your boy she's fine with us both. But she yowls when I've got to bed. I think she's got separation anxiety but then she doesn't come straight into me. She's fine being in a different room when we are awake.

I think they just carry their trauma with them. But I think both our little girl and your boy are happy. Unhappy cats or anxious cats hide all the time.

Seconding Zylkene here, I've used it with good effect with mine and so has a friend I recommended it to.

I'm assuming you're using Feliway or a similar pheromone diffuser in the house? You need to put them in all the main rooms that the cat uses e.g. living room, your bedroom, hallway.

Sounds like a man abused him. Dh dropped our Bengal as a kitten and it took him 6 years to forgive.

Beaphur do a calming plug in

You could do some behaviour training- associating your boyfriend with a rewarding experience. My nervous cat hated going in the cat carrier so I gave her tuna in there, just left it out, had other cat treats in there to find. Your boyfriend could feed her her favourite food, progress to having a plate of tuna by him when you're watching TV or something. Just desensitising her to him and creating a new association of pleasurable experiences with a male figure. My cat doesn't love the cat carrier now but she is a lot less stressed and doesn't hide away the minute she sees it.

Meant 'him' for your cat.

We just lost our cat that had anxiety issues. We found catnip a useful tool in calming him and exposing him to people, or for transporting him places. We did try feliway diffusers and similar sprays, but didn't really observe any positive effects. Our cat was particularly scared of tall people, but if they could get down on the floor to his level he would often come around. Perhaps that is the issue with your BF.

cat needs to build its confidence. So it needs safe places to hide, have you got high cat trees? Also need to associate BF with good things, so he could feed the cat a few times that might help. Zylclene is a milk protein so it's probably ok for the cat. I have had cats for a long time now....

I honestly think some cats are just nervous by nature. I've had my cat from a kitten, a few years old now and always seems to be on high alert. My cat is terrified of strangers and runs away as soon as there's a noise in the hallway or knock at the door. We don't know why our cat is so scared, nothing bad has ever happened, we've never told the cat off or anything. Our cat is particularly scared of noisy shoes, (hates my slipper boots) and people in hats.

He might always be a nervy cat but some of the suggestions from pp's are definitely worth a go, including getting him to associate your boyfriend with playing with fun toys and good treats. I also agree that if you don't already have a tall cat tree and some small igloo type beds then get some. Some cats prefer being up high and the beds give him somewhere dark to hide but still in sitting room.

TempCat is a bit odd as he's not scared of people at all, is friendly even with strangers, but is very, very jumpy around loud noises. Like yours he's jumps off my knee or bed even just as he hears the indrawn breath before you sneeze or cough. He hates fireworks and got quite spooked last night at the high winds. He's way better than he was but maybe will always be a bit nervy. I don;t think he's unhappy or anxious in general though, just easily startled.