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Cat and new baby

2 replies

Gizzymac · 12/11/2023 12:24

I'm hoping someone could offer some advice or reassurance. I have a cat who I adopted 4 years ago, who until this summer was so happy and affectionate - a life of chin scratches, sleeping on the bed, total lapcat. Since having our first baby in the summer, I think I've ruined his life and I don't know what to do. Our baby is a screaming velcro baby and we barely have a minute to acknowledge the cat. He hates the noise. He didn't come home for weeks so we missed a flea treatment and now he's covered in bites and rashes and is losing clumps of hair. He can't sleep on the bed as I co sleep and I'm always shutting him out of rooms as he's noisy when I'm trying to get the baby to nap. I've started to find his need for attention stressful at a time when I'm breastfeeding constantly and touched out. I feel heartbroken and guilty. I always thought it was awful when people rehomed pets after children but I just feel like I'm doing a terrible terrible job looking after him and he's so unhappy. I just can't give him the affection he wants. What can I do? I feel miserable about it.

OP posts:
problembottom · 16/11/2023 12:06

My cat was similar, he was my six year old pampered baby and then a real baby came along. I was so exhausted breastfeeding and having DD surgically attached I didn’t have the energy to pay him any attention and I felt so bad about it. He fled every time she cried and he was also a pain in the arse waking DD up as soon as she went to sleep by yowling and doing lots of attention seeking things.

He became very attached to DP during this period - can you get your partner to step up for as much fussing and playing as he can manage? It really helped for us.

Please remember this time is short - my screaming Velcro baby became easier from around the age of one. She’s now four and the most wonderful thing is she and the cat adore each other. She’s his chief playmaker. He yowls when she’s at school, greets her at the door when she’s home and does her bedtime with me.

You basically need to hang in there, you are doing your best and your cat will forgive you.

margotrose · 16/11/2023 12:44

If he's so unhappy that he's losing his fur then I do think you need to do what's kindest for him and find him a child free home.

Some animals just aren't happy living with children and that's okay. It doesn't mean you've failed him or have anything to feel guilty about.

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