Aggressive new cat - rehome?

[MrTiddlesTheCat]

What do I do? A little stray moved himself into my house in August. He's a tiny thing and so friendly to humans, but he's being mean to my other cats. Not all the time, but enough to see they are scared of him. At first they were fine but the last couple of weeks have upset me. Maybe because it's suddenly got colder here so they're all in more.

Do I ignore it and hope it settles down as they learn to coexist? I've tried feliway but it made everyone sick. Will it get better or does he need to go? Or is it normal behaviour in cat families? It's full on screeching at each other 2 or 3 times a week.

My poor big boy is terrified. He's a 6 year old male 3x the size of the scrapper, but he's as soft as butter. My female isn't so scared as she's a scrapper herself with anger issues, but she's an old lady now.

I'm so sad.

I'm sorry to hear this, It's very upsetting.The only time I tried this years ago was a complete disaster, but that was a new kitten with an older cat.
No advice really, but I understand what you mean.My present cat is aggressive, and he's the only one here He takes it out on me.Sometimes I wish that I could re-home him but who would want a cat that bites and scratches others.?

Honestly I would try to find him a single cat household. There might be a local sanctuary that would accept him?

How did you go about introducing them? Can you separate the newcomer for a few months and slowly introduce them again?

They introduced themselves. The newcomer was living in my garden and hanging out with my BigBoy for a month. I started feeding him as he was clearly starving. When my OldLady saw him it was obvious that she already knew him too.

They were all fine with each other and over the next few weeks he moved himself in. This was in august. It's only the last few weeks that there's been agro. Most of the time it's fine but when he bothers the others they hiss and smack him to back off and then he fights back rather than backing off.

@MrTiddlesTheCat is he neutered? Perhaps try to separate again for a while or look to rehome.

Is he neutered?

He wasn't when he first arrived. I got him done as soon as it became clear his owners couldn't be arsed to collect him. So a couple of months ago. He's a very young cat. I'd say a year old at most. Which is why I think he's bothering the older cats.

Here they are a few weeks ago. Keeping the fish company together without any bother. Hard to see on the picture but the black one is at least double the size of the tabby. But now he hides from the tabby because he's started being a little shit.

If he isn't neutered he will be a much nicer cat when he is.

My kittens took a long time to accept the resident cat. Four years on and it's still not brilliant. Feliway does help for us thankfully but one of my younger cats really would be happier either as an only or just with her sibling. They don't fight but they have very distinct territories within the house.
You need to reduce all areas of conflict - food, litter trays, space. But it may not be enough.

Just had a bit of hoohah over the possession of a bag. Oldlady had taken up residence inside said bag. Littleshit heard the rustling and went to investigate. Thought it looked good and tried to get in too. Cue angry tussle. Oldlady is a scrapper herself so didn't back down and kept custody of the bag. Littleshit has fucked off to the bedroom to sulk.

I has bag!

If he was snipped late, it may be taking a little while longer for his hormones to settle down. My new cat was ok at first but we've had scraps in the last few weeks. Original cat is very placid and chilled out.

So you know the cat has owners?

I'm his owner now. But yes, I found his original owners on social media and let them know he was here. He had escaped from a flat by jumping off the balcony so they had to collect him, he couldn't get himself home. They thanked me for finding him but never turned up to collect him.

Ah, that's shit of them, people are such dicks.
Can he be kept separate to the other two for a while?

Are they actually fighting or just telling each other where to go? My two go through phases where they apparently hate the sight of one another, the female runs away from the male or else flies at him hissing. Then other times they’re fine. They have their own rooms and don’t really interact but they will eat side by side, and sometimes (rarely) bump noses in greeting.

There's really loud screeching, as if they are fighting, and lashing out. So it really does look like fighting. But nobody has an injuries, so maybe it isn't real. Like yours, they're still all eating at the same time and then disappearing off to different rooms to sleep.

This is the first time I've had multiple cats that are not related. So maybe this is normal and I'm freaking out unnecessarily.

Vet said if they will eat together and sleep in each other’s presence they’re fine, even if they clash. Mine used to be pally but now always sleep in different rooms. That said, neither moves or wakes up to fight when they become aware of the other coming in, just seems to be when she’s not in the mood to see him she gets a bit nasty. That said neither of them seem unduly stressed, and if your older boy is that might be more of a problem.

From your updates it doesn't sound like fighting - it sounds like your older cats are just establishing boundaries, which is totally normal.

Maybe they’re just trying to establish territory, this bag is mine, that spot on the windowsill belongs to tiddles, that square of bed over there is where fluffy always sleeps on a Friday afternoon. He’s getting used to a new set up if they’ve all started coming in for the colder months. I’d give them chance to decide amongst themselves and split them up if it gets too much.

My boy always has scratches on his nose and we know that he fights when out and about.

For the last few weeks he has been experimenting with being an indoor cat - and he still has scratches on his nose!

The culprit is his female housemate - who loves him. Part of the reason he's being a house cat was how stressed she got when he didn't come home.

So it's possible yours are just having normal cat squabbles. I'd stick on a Feliway and see if it improves things.

I tried Feliway but it triggered my allergies and DH's asthma. DH always jokes about how I love the cats more than him. I don't want to prove him right by letting him die to keep them happy.

Shame - it triggers my asthma as well but worked a bloody wonder on the cats.

Would have been so easy if I could have used it.

My DH has known his place since the start 😂

Thank you everyone for your input. It's been really helpful. It's helped me to see that it might actually be a me problem rather than a cat problem.

Yesterday's skirmish lasted around 5 seconds, 10 max. Neither cat was hurt. 15 minutes later Oldlady was snoring in the bag. While Littleshit was having a fight with himself on the cat tree barely a metre away. So clearly neither of them are bothered. It's just me freaking out.

Bigboy is still scared but spends all day sleeping in DS's room and Littlshit has stopped going in there (lesson learnt maybe?). But he does still come for dinner and will eat out of a bowl next to Littleshit, although I can see he has one eye watching him the whole time.

Is there a human version of Feliway because I'm thinking I need it more than they do.