We have a beautiful boy who we rehomed 13 years ago. When we got him we were told he was around 4 but they had no way to know for sure. So we think he's about 16/17 now. He's so loved and a big part of our family.
About a year ago, overnight, he lost his sight. It was very distressing for him. We took him to the vets (which was also hugely distressing for him) and she said it was highly likely to be neurological. She also said his blood pressure was high and he likely had heart problems. The only treatment on offer were invasive scans and specialised food. We tried the specialised food but he didn't like it so we decided on quality of life over length and put him back on his beloved Sheba. We decided, along with the vet that at his age, scans and investigations were not the right choice. He's an incredibly nervous boy who hates going in the car and going to the vet with such a passion - he soils himself if he just sees the cat carrier. Again quality of life was more important.
A year later, here we are. He's pretty much stopped going outside - he used to love roaming about the garden. He spends all day on our sofa. He still enjoys a cuddle but if he's not on the sofa, he's roaming around the house in circles, miaowing. When we give him food, he can't find it unless we place him in front of it. He will miaow and miaow for food, even when he already has some. So we gently move him to his food bowl. He still eats well and will eat up to 6 pouches of food a day quite happily. He does go to the toilet outdoors but he doesn't clean himself well anymore which means we often have to wipe him or bathe him. He doesn't hate this but he definitely doesn't enjoy it. He doesn't ever leave our kitchen as he can't navigate the stairs or find his way to the living room. If we take him in with us he gets very stressed and disoriented.
He has episodes of shaking that last a few minutes, episodes of real disorientation where he goes in circles and bangs into things and episodes of his back legs going from underneath him. These episodes happen maybe once every 3 days.
We still get a lot of joy from his company and he purrs every time we sit on the sofa with him. But we work full time and are often out of the house. I worry about him whilst we are not there. He must be lonely trapped in his dark world.
We are due to go and visit family next week but I'm not comfortable leaving him. My husband says we can't never go away again and says that our boy could potentially live another few years like this. I agree with him but I also won't leave our boy if it's going to distress him.
But we are both now wondering if perhaps the quality of his life has gone down so much that it would be better to gently PTS. We have the name of a local vet nurse who will do home visits - we wouldn't take him to the vet as this would be so horrible for him it wouldn't be the end I would want.
Is it time? It's so so hard to know. He used to love going outside, which he can't do now. But he is still eating voraciously and loves a cuddle. But that's it. That's all he now has. Is that enough?
Long post sorry, but a bit of an emotional brain dump. I'm not sure I can't deal with the responsibility of choosing when he end his life, but I don't want him to suffer just because I can't make that choice.