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Original poster

What is the done thing ref pet cremation?

39 replies

Rollergirl11 · 30/09/2023 17:51

Sadly we lost our little boy cat a few days ago. He was only just over a year old and we are absolutely devastated that his little life has been cut short. He was taken to a vets that isn’t ours to scan his chip. They are keeping him until we decide what we want to do with his remains. The lady explained that they use 2 different companies that do pet cremations. But looking on their websites we are looking in the region of £250 for cremation and suitable urn for his ashes. I really don’t want to pay this much. We don’t really want to display the urn anywhere in the house and I don’t think the kids could bear to scatter the ashes.

Is this the done thing and what people do? This is the first pet that we have had that has passed away so have no idea what is expected. I kind of assumed that we would perhaps get some paw prints and then the vets dispose of him.

Its horrible as I don’t really want to be thinking about all this as it feels so heartless but conscious that our little boy has been there since Thursday and we need to make a decision.

OP posts:
HouseHassle · 30/09/2023 18:05

The other options are you can have a group cremation and not have his ashes returned (this is much cheaper), or you could bring him home and bury him.

Sorry for your loss 💐

KyliesPencilCollection · 30/09/2023 18:05

We brought out boy home and buried him in the garden. Sad for you .

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 30/09/2023 18:20

We buried ours but now I want to move so I’m going to have to dig him up and get his remains cremated so he can go in with dh.

Scampuss · 30/09/2023 18:20

So sorry Flowers

I've just checked and I paid £170 3 years ago to have my last cat PTS and with an individual cremation and having his ashes back in a container (didn't get a choice of container).

floofbag · 30/09/2023 18:23

I take the ashes and scatter them , you don't have to pay for a display pot . They can give them back to you in a cardboard container . You can also just collect him and bury him somewhere if you have a suitable garden that is yours or you plan to stay in .

Honeyroar · 30/09/2023 18:27

My horse’s ashes came back in a (huge!) bag and I buried her ashes. I didn’t want an urn. My small animals are all buried on our small holding with a tree over them.

Dee1224 · 30/09/2023 18:28

Hi, we were too upset to have our lovely old dog’s ashes returned to us - just couldn’t bear the idea - so he was cremated and the ashes disposed of via the vet. We kept his collar. That was the best option for us, but some people do want to scatter the ashes at home, keep them or bury their pet in the garden.

The vet should be able to organise cremation and disposal of ashes if you choose this. (I actually think a paw print would be nice, but have never heard of it being offered.)

Good luck with whatever you decide.

CatChant · 30/09/2023 18:29

I loved all of mine very dearly and had no hesitation in paying for expensive treatment while they were alive, but spending a small fortune on their dead bodies has always seemed pointless to me.

I know it comforts many people but for me the animal I loved is gone leaving an empty, meaningless shell.

I would always rather donate to a cat charity in memory of them.

Tumbler2121 · 30/09/2023 18:30

You don't have to do any of those things, you can simply ask them to dispose of the body.

Doesn't show any less love, but it won't make any difference to the cat

HouseHassle · 30/09/2023 18:40

Tumbler2121 · 30/09/2023 18:30

You don't have to do any of those things, you can simply ask them to dispose of the body.

Doesn't show any less love, but it won't make any difference to the cat

There is still a fee involved with this

CassieRole · 30/09/2023 18:46

Can they not dispose of him as medical waste? If you don’t want ashes not much point bringing him home.

Caveat: I don’t get the human obsession with keeping the burnt remains of a loved one, nor visiting a bit of stone with the name of a loved one on, surely you can just remember them in your head?

Gymmum82 · 30/09/2023 18:50

It’s entirely up to you. You can ask for paw prints, nose print, some fur. Whatever you wish. You can get ashes back to scatter, to keep in a box or no ashes at all.
Everyone has a different way of dealing with it and nobody is right or wrong

getmeavodka · 30/09/2023 18:55

My fur baby was killed on the road in July at only 10 months. I have his ashes in a sleeping cat urn at home. I find it comforting that he is home with me.

Celibacyinthesticks · 30/09/2023 18:56

I kind of assumed that we would perhaps get some paw prints and then the vets dispose of him.

You will still have to pay for this, vets don’t dispose of bodies for free or do a paw print for you.

Cotswoldbee · 30/09/2023 19:01

Both our Dcats are buried in the garden that they loved for their entire lives. We have since moved and of course we now have no control over what may happen to our old (lovely, leafy) garden but so be it.
Our Ddogs however are being cremated and going in with our ashes to be scattered together with us when we are all gone.

margotrose · 30/09/2023 19:08

We buried our little cat in the garden when we lost her in May. DH got a plaque on the wall for us to remember her by.

MariePaperRoses · 30/09/2023 19:17

My daughter worked in a Pets at Home with a vets attached as work experience and there was a Doberman in a freezer out the back for weeks, presumably due to a payment dispute.

She said it was upsetting as the freezer was used for other things.

I would try and give your cat a burial at home asap if possible.

Calmestofallthechickens · 30/09/2023 19:30

Sorry for your loss, that sounds really sudden and sad.

The ‘done thing’ is whatever you would find helpful - there’s not a right answer. If you request it the vets will be able to make paw prints/ trim a lock of fur for you to keep.

The cheapest option is to bury at home or have the vet send them for ‘communal cremation’ (cremated together with other animals). Getting ashes returned is more expensive. It’s about 50:50 as to what people do (relatively rare to bury at home near me as not everyone has a garden).

OnAFrolicOfMyOwn · 30/09/2023 19:34

I have always just gone with the basic cremation, both for cats and dog. I don't want to see the ashes, I would rather remember my pets as they were. I think it cost £70 the last time, about three years ago.

On the other hand, my sister pays for individual cremation and keeps the ashes on her mantelpiece.

It's whatever you are comfortable with.

Toddlerteaplease · 30/09/2023 22:34

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 30/09/2023 18:20

We buried ours but now I want to move so I’m going to have to dig him up and get his remains cremated so he can go in with dh.

My friend was saying this afternoon that she regretted not get hers cremated for this very reason.
I had an individual cremation, but didn't buy an urn. Cost £200 I think

thenewaveragebear1983 · 30/09/2023 22:45

I think I paid about £100 to have my old guy cremated and I wanted a box so I could scatter his ashes in the garden, but instead I got a fixed lid wooden box so now he lives in my gin cabinet. I’m glad I’m the end we didn’t scatter his ashes, I see his little box and it makes me smile.

robinsnest1967 · 30/09/2023 22:51

My beautiful DCat died on Wednesday due to advanced liver cancer, I only found out the day before. My bill was £552 which was £220 blood tests, £108 consultation and the rest was cremation and an urn (the urn was £46). Its a harrowing experience because I was sobbing my heart out and he was shoving the booklet in my face. If you have a garden (I don't) then I'd bring your pet home. The poster who said about "medical waste" turned my stomach.

Scampuss · 30/09/2023 22:52

"I see his little box and it makes me smile."

Yes, I feel the same with the two I have on my bookshelves. Previous cats had all been buried in previous gardens.

GodspeedJune · 30/09/2023 22:57

Medical waste?
Disposed of?

Ugh. Really?!

We take all of our pets for individual cremation, directly to the crematorium. I don’t like the thought of them being loaded into a van and away from home for longer than necessary. By taking them directly we can collect the same or next day, and yes it is cheaper than using your vet as the third party.

Starbeeees · 30/09/2023 23:01

Our urn is a sleeping cat

i was terribly all over the place making the decision, but after seeing the urns I knew I could make peace with some of the designs. The one we chose wasn’t anything that would look unusual for us to have as an ornament either.

I have never seen the ashes themselves. However it took a few weeks for me to balance my emotions over it. She brings me peace now but at the time I was freaking out that we had her ashes.

when looking at options, there was one where they could spread the ashes at their special gardens.

if you really don’t want an urn, I’d go back and ask what options there could be in your case. group cremation would probably be there.

i am so sorry for your loss and I hope your familys hearts settle soon