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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

Help - when to PTS?

24 replies

BirdIsland · 05/09/2023 16:36

Please help, I just don't know what to do for the best 😢

My 16 yrs old moggie has gone downhill significantly over the last few days. Last week he was his usual self - demanding food, sleeping on the bed, purring like a train and running to greet me. Over the last few days he's become lethargic, thin, unsteady on his feet and off his food. Tests yesterday show significant problems with his kidneys. He has had kidney problems for many years.

Had a long chat with the vet earlier which was very much focused on quality of life. He's currently not really coming into the house, just sleeping outside. I gave him lots of strokes last night in the garden which he seemed to enjoy but he didn't even purr ☹️

I think in my heart I know what I need to do, but I'm so worried he's just unwell, got a bug or something, and that he'll rally if I just give him time. What if I get him PTS and he could have been ok for a bit longer? If I give him smelly food from a pouch he absolutely wolfs it down, so maybe he's not so bad?

I've had him all his life, it breaks my heart that he won't be with me any more but I'm just so worried about making the wrong decision. How do you know when it's time?

OP posts:

djivdfj · 05/09/2023 17:21

Have been here. When my cat went after developing kidney disease (also at 16) she went downhill very quickly, made a little nest off by herself and just stopped really responding. There was no purring and although I couldn't believe it was actually time, it really was I think as the vet reassured me it was what they do and she really was very ill. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this and that he is; sending you both ❤️

Toddlerteaplease · 05/09/2023 17:24

You know in your heart that it's time, then it it is time. I felt like this with mine, but she had just started a course of steroids and I wondered wether to finish them. But I knew we were only buying time. When she didn't bully me for treats, I just knew. Still didn't stop me doubting my self though. And took me a couple of weeks to stop thinking they she could have still been here. But I knew it was the right thing, in my heart of hearts.

Original poster

BirdIsland · 05/09/2023 17:46

Thank you both for responding, I'm just devastated at how fast it has happened and how different he is now to a week ago. I'm sorry you've both been through having to make this awful decision.

He has been with me through so so much, my little furry sidekick giving me kisses on the nose, and now I have to do the final right thing for him and not be selfish, but I just can't bear the thought of him not being around.

OP posts:

TicTacNicNak · 05/09/2023 17:55

I'm so very sorry OP, this is heart breaking for you.

Once their quality of life has gone then it's time. It sounds as though your poor kitty is ready. The biggest acts of love you can show your pet are to let them go when they're suffering, and be there with them at the end as they travel to rainbow bridge. It will be incredibly hard to start with when he's not about, for sure. I wish you strength to get through this 💐

Toddlerteaplease · 05/09/2023 19:14

Better a week to early than a day too late.

Original poster

BirdIsland · 05/09/2023 19:49

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It's so hard isn't it, they bring so much joy to our lives but losing them is so painful, particularly when you have to make the decision yourself on when the time is right.

I know it's better to be early than late but I'm already doubting myself, he's had a bit of a potter round the garden and my head is saying "look, he still enjoys laying in a sunbeam!". Stupid I know when he's not particularly eating or drinking, but it's hard not to clutch at those straws. I need to be strong for him.

OP posts:

Clarich007 · 05/09/2023 21:30

Oh this is so hard.
I've been there 7 years ago.
My lovely girl had stage 3 kidney failure and had a good 2 years from diagnosis.She was mostly ok apart from struggling to eat, and drinking and weeing a lot.
She was fine one day but collapsed the next.The vet said it's sort of like they are running round the edge of a crater.Most of the time they are ok.Suddenly they slip and fall.
I knew it was time.
I took her to the vet immediately and stayed with her, which was a comfort to me too.

Toddlerteaplease · 05/09/2023 22:39

I stayed with both of mine, it was so peaceful and dignified for them.

TheShellBeach · 05/09/2023 22:44

Let your beloved boy go with dignity before his life becomes intolerable.
If he's hiding outside it's a sign that it's time.
I've had four cats PTS and it's always difficult.
Cats are so good at hiding their distress. We can be fooled into thinking they're not too bad, when in reality they're suffering.
I'm so sorry, OP.

Original poster

BirdIsland · 06/09/2023 13:09

The vet is coming to the house tomorrow afternoon to put him to sleep. He won't come inside any more, he just sits outside, occasionally on one of the chairs but mostly in the bushes. He's very wobbly on his feet. He still gives me a little chirp when I go over to him, and I tempted him with a bit of tuna this morning. I'm totally heartbroken.

OP posts:

Toddlerteaplease · 06/09/2023 14:46

I think it's the right thing. Really really hard, I know. I found the waiting, once I'd made the decision the hardest. And was relived when it was done.

Lemonbell · 07/09/2023 11:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

djivdfj · 07/09/2023 13:06

When Lemonbrll said. Thinking of you OP

Original poster

BirdIsland · 07/09/2023 18:03

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and thoughts. He was put to sleep this afternoon, the vet was lovely and we sat in the sun in the garden. He was so good, just laid down on the grass next to me and peacefully drifted off. We've had him cremated, and the lady from the crematorium is bringing his ashes home tomorrow, she's also done a paw print and a clipping of his fur.

I will miss him so much, he meant the world to me.

OP posts:

Toddlerteaplease · 07/09/2023 18:29

So sorry. Glad it was peaceful.

Lemonbell · 07/09/2023 18:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

bravotango · 07/09/2023 18:41

RIP your lovely boy, it sounds like a peaceful end to a happy life ❤️

Viewfrommyhouse · 07/09/2023 18:42

Better a week to early than a day too late. My boy deteriorated so quickly last year when I lost him to kidney disease. He was only 8. I still miss him terribly. Huge hugs xx

djivdfj · 07/09/2023 19:11

Love to you.

Clarich007 · 07/09/2023 19:19

Ahh So sorry to hear this.It's devastating, it really is.I think the guilt is part of grief, we all doubt ourselves, it's normal to feel this.Please be kind and look after yourself Hugs 💝💐

Thisweeksname · 07/09/2023 19:27

I’m so sorry 💔it’s the hardest but kindest thing we can do for them at the end of their lives. I’m glad it was peaceful and he could feel the sun on him in the garden. Take care 💐you gave him a lovely happy life.

Theoldwrinkley · 07/09/2023 19:50

We had our 17 year old cat PTS this morning. Very upsetting, but for us not the Cat. He had been on a thyroid medicine for a couple if years, and was ok-ish. But recent hot weather really slowed him down and when he came in last night he was so stiff he could hardly put one foot in front of the other. It's the last act of kindness that you can do. I think it should be available for people as well (but that's a whole other thread!)

Original poster

BirdIsland · 07/09/2023 21:42

Sorry you've had to go through the same thing today @Theoldwrinkley, it's heartbreaking. My boy was also fine for a number of years with kidney issues, and then deteriorated very quickly (in less than a week he was barely able to walk).

It's absolutely the right thing to do, and I feel it was the right time, but it's still so hard. Sending you love ❤️

OP posts:

Dillane · 07/09/2023 21:47

Explore all treatment options with your Vet. My beloved old boy lived to be 23 with correct medications for his ailments. Wishing you and your little cat all the best.

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