Kitten going for the throat

[Enderunicorn]

Of our older (5yo) cat. We did introduction's slowly over weeks and weeks. Older cat hissed at kitten though went out of his way not to be physical. Kitten is now I think scared of older cat and will go straight for his chest/throat the second they're in a room together. Older cat literally just wants kitten to leave him alone, he's not aggressive but understandably hates being ambushed. Kitten has been neutered, separate resources, calming treats. How can we improve this situation? They're currently having to time share the house

@andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow he's getting a v negative response which I thought might be enough.

If you watch cats with their mum, they get physically admonished if they step out of line. Mum will cuff her kittens, pick them up by the scruff and pin them to the floor in order to teach them what's acceptable.

Our kitten definitely responds to physical reprimands - my 8yo cat will physically tell him to "pack it in" and he doesn't bother him anywhere near as much as he does the 3yo, who either plays back or just walks off in disgust.

Unfortunately I don't think you can teach a cat to do that - it's just part of their personality/upbringing.

Thank you @andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow
I wish it was something I could do for my older cat, teach kitten what behaviour was unacceptable.

Unfortunately my older cat never put our kittens in their place either so they continue to lord it over her. There's a truce but they're not friends and I do seperate them overnight.

This is something I worry about. I really don't want to have to keep them separated every time I leave the house or go to bed.

Thanks everyone for help. I'm thinking this probably isn't going to work out as upsetting as it is. My older cat is still incredibly upset from being pinned earlier. I can feel how absolutely miserable he is tonight. He's such a gentle sweet cat and this is so unfair to him. I might see if a cat behaviourist can help but the kitten is just being a kitten so don't know what good it would do. I think direct adoption of kitten through local rescue might be the kindest way forward for the cats. A bit heartbroken but there it is.

Have you ever watched any of Jackson Galaxy's cat programme (My cat from Hell)?

If you haven't, then they are worth a watch (the US viewpoint does mean that he is very pro indoor cats due to the predators they have there and is anti de-clawing which we don't do here) as a lot of his basic cat advice is just good, sound stuff.

Kittens grow up fast, so do keep that in mind, especially if he will be having access to outdoors when older.

To clarify - the cats don't fight, but I think my older cat appreciates having her own space for the evening/overnight.
If you think your older cat is finding this too upsetting, maybe considering returning the kitten before you get too attached? Kittens do calm down, but they may never be friendly.

@Beamur it's already been a couple of months so I'm already pretty attached sadly as is my son. I was hoping that once he was neutered kitten would be slightly less aggressive to older car but that didn't seem to happen.
Glad yours don't fight at night, yes I think mine would like his own space and to be undisturbed on my feet so maybe they would have to be locked apart forever.

@RainWithSunnySpells
Thank you I'll have a look, willing to try anything. I just feel incredibly protective of my older cat. This morning when I was getting ready for work he heard kitten meowing to get out and went and hid in wardrobe.

Can you provide the negative consequences? Get a small water pistol and every time the kitten is aggressive, not just playful, with the older cat, squirt him. It's harmless and doesn't hurt but if your cat isn't going to swat him away etc, that might give kitten the message that it's not on

That's sad and I hope the kitten frowns out of it. I had a kitten and an older cat but the cat did keep the kitten in her place, swiping her and hissing at her. They got along ok for many years. They've both sadly passed now at 18 and 16 (cancer and kidney disease). I've just got two kittens from the same litter and they are totally bonkers, they literally fly around the place, very entertaining though. I can appreciate what PP have said - they play fight a lot but sleep together and feed together and follow each other everywhere. I hope it gets better soon and you don't need to rehome.

Can try that but I wonder if he'll actually get the message that way, anything worth a go at this point.

I really don't want to rehome but it only seems like they get along worse and worse. It was so easy with my older cat and his sis, they did have occasional spats over the favourite comfy sleeping spot of the week but otherwise got along well.

Please don't spray him with water - he won't understand what it means and you could just teach both of them to be scared of each other.

If you want to keep trying, I'd get more hidey places for your older cat. Plug in Feliway - mine react very well to it and keep playing with kitty.
Mine have worked out territories within the house. It's quite tightly defined and there's a pecking order. Unfortunately my older cat is definitely bottom of the heap!
In practice this has meant they are now quite calm with each other. But it took quite a lot of chasing and staring while they sorted it out.
Allowing my older cat a bit of guaranteed peace hasn't meant I keep them apart all the time. During the day they are often all in the same room, they will eat and sleep in the same room (which wouldn't have happened at the beginning). The layout of my house means (when seperated) the original cat gets a floor to herself and access to the garden, the hooligans get the lounge and bedrooms. Everyone has plenty of space.
I'd intervene each time your kitten pounces and peel them off with a 'no' - if you go out, can you seperate them? You almost certainly won't have to do this all the time as they get older, but you're obviously concerned about the happiness of your cat. I reckon it took well over 6 months before mine calmed down - maybe a year? Certainly not a few weeks.

@Beamur
I do want to keep trying it's just really getting me down after yesterday. I feel like I spent a week working on getting them in a room without drama and then yesterday it was all completely undone.
I'm going to get a few cat shelves that I can put high up and cat can defend his position in hopefully.
I very much want to keep my bedroom as my older cat's territory, kitten has a bedroom all to himself while kids are still sharing.
At the moment kitten is in his room if we go out but there is usually someone around.
Good to hear your cats eventually worked it out. I don't know why but I feel quite sad at the idea that my older boy is probably going to end up the less dominant cat to a kitten.