Am I doing the right thing……..

[Kittysadness]

My beloved and adored cat is 15. I took him to the vets last November due to weight loss and a few other assorted issues and long story short, he was diagnosed with liver failure and sent home for palliative care. In the time since (yes, he is still alive) he’s lost more weight (he has no more to lose, he is skin and bone) and pretty yellow under his fur.
He’s sick multiple times a week, it’s mostly just bile and not a lot of it. His back legs are also failing, he can still jump onto sofas/beds and walk fine but he’s unsteady and struggles to balance, he seems uncomfortable and looks awkward when sleeping and eating. He seems tired, like he’s had enough and I’m just not sure if he’s happy.
However, I don’t think he’s in pain, he’ll let me touch any part of him and will still climb on my lap and purr. He’s still grooming himself and will still chase a bit of string if he feels like it. He’s eating absolutely fine (in fact his appetite has increased 10 fold and for the first time ever, he’s started trying to swipe food off my dinner plate).
Everything litter box wise is fine although in the last month or so, he is intermittently peeing in alternative places, often just outside his litter box but sometimes in my bedroom.
He isn’t shying away from humans, he still prefers to be in close proximity to me at all times and is sociable with any visitors. He’s definitely not the (sometimes overly) affectionate kitty he was previously.
The stress of waiting for him to go is making me ill though. It’s been 9 months of waiting and wondering and worrying.
Its just me and him and all anyone keeps telling me is “you’ll know”
I’ve made a vet appointment for late this afternoon, I’m not expecting the vet to have a magical cure, this will be the end.
But how do I know I’m doing the right thing saying goodbye now? Should I wait even longer? I’m so scared of making the wrong decision

I think it's definitely the right thing. I had a similar issue with my cat a few weeks ago. She was absolutely fine in her self. But wasting away. Had an abnormal scan, started on steroids. But went down hill in the space of 24 hours. She was happy enough, but I just knew it was time. It was incredibly peaceful. Miss her terribly though.
I second guessed my self for ages afterwards. But my friend saw her the day before she died and was shocked by her.
Be kind to yourself. It's fine to be In bits. They are so much more than just a cat.

She weed on my pillow during her last morning, and that was the sign. She'd never ever done that before.

It sounds right. I was the same with mine, it was horrendous waiting leading up to it
Could he have been alive a few more weeks or months? Sure. But I didn't want to risk an emergency dash or him in pain or suffering just for me to have him for longer
Because it's never long enough and you will always want more time

Thank you, I’ve read so many of your posts on here and so I know you genuinely understand my anguish. I know I’ll be sad afterwards but the difficult bit is now and actually going to the vets.
I’m so sorry about your cat x

You’re right, it will never be long enough and I just want him to live forever but obviously that can’t happen

Once I decided the waiting was the worst. But I knew exactly how I wanted it to be for her, as I had with her sister. The vets were absolutely amazing. And it was beautiful in a really sad way.

Although you want them to live for ever, I think that it gives us space to love more cats. I'd have never had Cheddar if Maia hadn't died when she did. And now I can give another unwanted cat the same pampered life they had. I like to think that your previous cat sends the best one. Maia definitely sent Cheddar!

Better a week too early than a day too late. This sentence is always true.

From reading your description I think it's time to let him go. Cats are very good at hiding pain. If he looks uncomfortable and he is sometimes weeing outside his litter tray that suggests he is struggling to get in it.

He has done really well to be 9 months post diagnosis but honestly I think you need to let him go.

Be with him when it happens but he will not be aware of what it is happening so don't beat yourself up.

It's so hard but you have to do the right thing and it sounds like his quality of life is deteriorating. Hugs x

I've had 2 cats who sadly were put to sleep because of the kidney failure. I knew they wouldn't want to waste away and not have the quality of life they had had so hard as it is we did what we thought best

Mine lived for years after his liver failure diagnosis and was considered by the vet to be a medical marvel but he really went downhill in his last few months. The litter tray became purely decorative, he stopped grooming, he was a bag of bones and he stopped purring (having previously been like a tractor). He was always the most placid cat and the vet loved him because he would stand there purring and trying to give head boops during blood tests but towards the end he started lashing out at the vet. He was 17 when he went but I think we should let him go a bit sooner.

It's been a year and I still miss him terribly. We have a new cat now who I can't quite warm to because he's just not my old boy.

People say you'll know but I don't think it's true; however if the vet knows him well maybe they could give a steer?

It is very very hard