Can you persuade this cat to become a "lap cat"?

Beetleback · 2023-08-08T16:04:55+00:00

I have a very affectionate, attention-loving cat but he won't sit on laps. He likes to be held, to sit next to you with his head on your lap or to lie on your chest. He often wants attention while I'm working, which would be much easier if he would just sit down on my lap, but for some reason, he won't. Any tips to persuade him that laps are a good place to hang out? Or do I just resign myself to the fact they're fickle creatures? He's currently sat on my laptop licking my face 🙄

elenacampana · 08/08/2023 17:09

Accept everything will always be on his terms 😹

Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand · 08/08/2023 17:09

Without pic we doubt you even have a dcat at all op.....

Theforeverhome · 08/08/2023 17:24

Is he too big to fit on your lap? One of ours does as you describe and he now tries to get on my lap but just can't get comfortable.

Defiantlynot41 · 08/08/2023 17:35

A couple of things I've found to help

Bribery - things like Dreamies only happen when all 4 paws are on your lap. You might have to work up to that one a paw at a time!

Sit with a towel, fleece or blanket on your lap. I'm at least twice as likely to get a cat on my lap with something on my lap for some reason- ok at the moment but fleece plus large cat is very hot-making when the weather is nice

Original poster

Beetleback · 08/08/2023 17:43

Theforeverhome · 08/08/2023 17:24

Is he too big to fit on your lap? One of ours does as you describe and he now tries to get on my lap but just can't get comfortable.

He certainly is a sizable beast! Although he never even attempts to sit on a lap. If I place him on my lap he'll stand there to receive attention but won't sit.

OP posts:

AllotmentTime · 08/08/2023 17:48

Cushion on your lap? I've met/owned cats who just don't like bumpy legs. Firmer/flatter surfaces were required for Their Highnesses' bums 🙄

vickibee · 08/08/2023 17:51

My cat won't sit on Yr lap directly but will if you pop her in a shoe box first. It's bizarre.

Circumferences · 08/08/2023 17:52

Aww he sounds Adorable!
What age did you get him?

With cats, their first 4-6 weeks as a kitten are the "imprint" stage so they need to have socialized with both men and women, ideally children too, and sat on their laps in that timeframe to properly be a "lap cat" that is comfortable with everyone.

I've known lap cats who only sit on women's laps not men's, because they never came across a man as a kitten.

Strays/ferals will categorically never sit on a humans lap or even want to be stroked! Nothing will work not even bribary.

You can't really change a cat's behaviour after the first few months of being born.

By all means try with bribary, treats, maybe a hot water bottle under a blanket on your lap that sort of thing, but be prepared for your cat to look at you like you're nuts and go back to your keyboard!

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 08/08/2023 18:04

What about a fleecy blanket for him to sit on? All our cats love a blanket.

Toddlerteaplease · 08/08/2023 18:05

Try putting a towel, cushion, texture he likes on your knee. One of mine would only sit on a cushion, then we graduated to a towel. She loved the texture. Then eventually just my knee. The late Magic would usually sit on a fleece pad.

Toddlerteaplease · 08/08/2023 18:05

vickibee · 08/08/2023 17:51

My cat won't sit on Yr lap directly but will if you pop her in a shoe box first. It's bizarre.

Need a picture of this!

titchy · 08/08/2023 18:10

One of ours will only sit on a lap that has a cushion in it....

vickibee · 08/08/2023 18:10

This is her in her fav shoebox. I don't have one of sitting in it on my lap.
We leave boxes around fir her to sit in.

Can you persuade this cat to become a "lap cat"?

fuckthisprivilage · 08/08/2023 18:18

My cat won't sit on my lap unless I am wearing a specific oversized sweater which he recognises by sight. Then he jumps up and noses around the bottom of it, which is my cue to lift it up and over him until he is completely inside my jumper. He will then fall asleep for hours, often sliding off my lap until he is basically hanging in it like a cat hammock.

Weirdo.

Original poster

Beetleback · 08/08/2023 19:00

fuckthisprivilage · 08/08/2023 18:18

My cat won't sit on my lap unless I am wearing a specific oversized sweater which he recognises by sight. Then he jumps up and noses around the bottom of it, which is my cue to lift it up and over him until he is completely inside my jumper. He will then fall asleep for hours, often sliding off my lap until he is basically hanging in it like a cat hammock.

Weirdo.

Love this!

OP posts:

Original poster

Beetleback · 08/08/2023 19:04

We’ll just because cats are contrary I’ve sat on the sofa and he’s asleep on my lap 🙄

Though his bum is on the sofa so maybe it is that he’s just too big for a lap.

Maybe I can try some kind of box/cat bed for when I’m working.

OP posts:

BrevityOverLevity · 08/08/2023 19:06

Wait for it to get chilly.
Dont put the heating on.

Instant lap cat.

Original poster

Beetleback · 08/08/2023 19:07

Circumferences · 08/08/2023 17:52

Aww he sounds Adorable!
What age did you get him?

With cats, their first 4-6 weeks as a kitten are the "imprint" stage so they need to have socialized with both men and women, ideally children too, and sat on their laps in that timeframe to properly be a "lap cat" that is comfortable with everyone.

I've known lap cats who only sit on women's laps not men's, because they never came across a man as a kitten.

Strays/ferals will categorically never sit on a humans lap or even want to be stroked! Nothing will work not even bribary.

You can't really change a cat's behaviour after the first few months of being born.

By all means try with bribary, treats, maybe a hot water bottle under a blanket on your lap that sort of thing, but be prepared for your cat to look at you like you're nuts and go back to your keyboard!

He was rescued as a stray aged 2 - history unknown, we’ve had him about 6 months. But he’s the most affectionate cat who loves attention from everyone.

OP posts:

nolamesallowed · 08/08/2023 19:09

Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand · 08/08/2023 17:09

Without pic we doubt you even have a dcat at all op.....

mrsdolittle · 08/08/2023 19:12

Give him time OP. I "inherited" my mums cat and it took her a long long time to sit on my lap. She has always been friendly and likes strokes and attention (but god forbid you attempt to pick her up!!!!). I reckon it took her a good two years before she started sitting on my lap - and now I can hardly get her off

Original poster

Beetleback · 08/08/2023 19:13

Current status. I should be making dinner but don’t have the heart to move him.

OP posts:

amylou8 · 08/08/2023 19:14

My old lady tortie is like this. She's an affectionate quite needy cat. She'll sit right up next to me, head on lap. She'll climb on my chest, head bumps and kisses and curl up in the crook of my arm in bed, but she staunchly refuses to sit in my lap. She's 16 now so I doubt it will ever happen.

Original poster

Beetleback · 08/08/2023 19:18

amylou8 · 08/08/2023 19:14

My old lady tortie is like this. She's an affectionate quite needy cat. She'll sit right up next to me, head on lap. She'll climb on my chest, head bumps and kisses and curl up in the crook of my arm in bed, but she staunchly refuses to sit in my lap. She's 16 now so I doubt it will ever happen.

Very similar - crook of my arm is his favourite hang out with his head nuzzled on my chest

OP posts:

watcherintherye · 08/08/2023 19:19

nolamesallowed · 08/08/2023 19:09

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Them’s the rules! But we’ve got one now

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 08/08/2023 19:36

There are two guaranteed methods:

Start doing something that would make it very inconvenient to have a cat on your lap.
Get another cat to sit on your lap. Or, even better, a dog.