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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

A bit morbid but if you have 2 cats and one dies

52 replies

WildFlowerBees · 01/07/2023 14:55

Did you get another for company? Our 2 are getting on in years and they've been together since they were kittens we got them from a rescue at a year old. Although they don't really curl up together they are never far from each other and it worries me what we'll do when one leaves us.

I don't really want any more cats after ours but I also don't want to see the one left stressed in any way.

One of ours I think will cope fine the other I'm not so sure about.

I'm hoping we have a long while yet so really I'm musing at this point.

OP posts:
EastCoastRye · 01/07/2023 14:57

Play it by ear. Our cat is much happier since her brother died- he was always the boss and she was in his shadow and now it’s just her she’s a lot more sociable. You may find that your remaining cat is absolutely fine.

DeathMetalMum · 01/07/2023 14:58

We have two male and female (siblings) Female would hate another cat, shes very territorial, even hisses at her brother if he comes home after a few hours/days. I think the male wouldn't be bothered.

Pkhsvd · 01/07/2023 15:00

I wouldn’t as I know my cats wouldn’t tolerate a kitten due to old age and probably not even an equally older one. Although if one of my cats died when they were only young then I’d of considered it.

Original poster
WildFlowerBees · 01/07/2023 15:02

I'd really rather not get any more, I'm a total cat slave I absolutely adore them but I would hate to think the one left was unhappy but then the other may not tolerate an interloper and cause more stress. We definitely wouldn't have a kitten! Nice to know others have been fine.

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 01/07/2023 15:04

We had 2 cats for 18 years before one of them died. The surviving one, who had always been quiet and reserved, completely transformed into the life and soul of the party and had the best two years of her life before she finally died. She had obviously been in a coercively controlling relationship with her brother all those years......

RandomMess · 01/07/2023 15:04

Not sure my old girl was bothered when her brother died. She wasn't interested in the rehome or kitten we got afterwards but she always was 99.9999% slave focused.

Current hoard spend a lot of time playing together and cuddle up frequently so not sure how they will be when the time comes. The eldest wanders around looking for the others when they have a day out to the cat show 🧐

WunWun · 01/07/2023 15:05

No I didn't. It would absolutely just stress the remaining cat out to introduce a new cat when they're old.

My cat is actually happier now he's on his own.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 01/07/2023 15:06

Play it by ear. I have 3, one would be completely fine being a only cat (she only tolerates the others) and the other two however would not cope as only cats.

ShadowPuppets · 01/07/2023 15:07

We thought about it but decided against and in our case it was the right one. DCat1 loved his brother but he’s a furry little pillow of a thing these days and I get the sense all he wants is a quiet life of being totally spoiled, a new cat would be upsetting the balance a bit too much. DCat2 died too young and they were still tearaways so I worried that he’d miss the company but actually he’s befriended some neighbourhood cats and they sunbathe together so I think he’s getting all the social interaction he needs while still getting to be the feline king of our house!

magnolia1997 · 01/07/2023 15:08

Too stressful for the older one to deal with a new cat.

AgnesX · 01/07/2023 15:12

I didn't get another cat.....my cat is 19, and it's his home. He was always quite domineering towards his sibling and I couldn't face the thought of the hassle if he and a new cat didn't get on. I just didn't want to take the risk

marmaladegranny · 01/07/2023 15:13

When one of our 2 brothers was given a terminal diagnosis we were worried how other one would cope alone so got another pair of kitten brothers! The terminal illness did not progress as expected and we were a 4 cat family for quite a time! Gradually they died and the last cat seemed very happy to be an only cat. He did have to contend with a puppy for his last 2 years, but was definitely the boss.

CatsonPollock · 01/07/2023 15:17

We were in a similar situation. 2 sister cats - one died at 15 years old and remaining one lived for another 3 years. 2nd cat became bolder but possibly more needier once 1st cat had gone. Prior to 1st cat's death, 2nd cat rarely meowed and when she did it was more of a strangled squeak, whereas 1st cat could be quite vocal when she wanted. Remaining cat then suddenly found her voice and spent her last 3 years meowing quite loudly! But she seemed happy and contented and became a full-on lap cat whereas previously she had usually given way to 1st cat. We were reluctant to try introducing a new cat to her at that age incase it didn't work so would be unfair to both old and new cat.

After a just over a year with no cats, we now have 2 new ones - a rescued mum and her only kitten and life is good again! 😸😸

1vandal2 · 01/07/2023 15:18

My two were a brother and sister very very attached and close and my little girl passed away at 6 and my boy was only 5 and he was very noticably depressed, got stress cystitis didn't play, was fully attached to me the entire time i was home. It took a year before i gave up trying to adopt from a rescue and bought a kitten from a pedigree registered breeder and made sure she was suitable that she was happy to have a close relationship with a cat and when i brought her home there was all the cuddles and purrs and grooming within 24hours with each other and now she's gotten a lot bigger they play properly and my boy is acting like himself again.
Obviously every cat is different but it was how he acted that really made my decision for me.

Sunnydaysaredefhere · 01/07/2023 15:19

We had 2 brothers.. Never that far apart for 8 years.. And 1 died... Dcat was traumatised... Fur loss. Weight loss. Sat howling day after day in the back garden. Broke me. Gave in after 7 months..
Peace again.

A bit morbid but if you have 2 cats and one dies
A bit morbid but if you have 2 cats and one dies
Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 01/07/2023 15:27

We currently have four cats. 'I've tended to 'top up' with two kittens when we get down to two left, except once when we were down to one old boy and we got three kittens. 🤣
Usually the older cats have been absolutely fine. On two occasions the older incumbent cat has ended up 'parenting' the kittens. Only once did one of my cats struggle to accept the newcomers initially, but three months later he was fine with the new setup.

Original poster
WildFlowerBees · 01/07/2023 15:32

So it'll be pretty obvious if the remaining cat is quite stressed? I hate thinking about this but as they go into their twilight years it has made me wonder. Feel better for asking, thank you 😊

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 01/07/2023 18:07

EastCoastRye · 01/07/2023 14:57

Play it by ear. Our cat is much happier since her brother died- he was always the boss and she was in his shadow and now it’s just her she’s a lot more sociable. You may find that your remaining cat is absolutely fine.

I had this. The late Maia was definitely the boss. Magic blossomed as soon as she died. She wasn't overly happy on her own. I saw her visibly relax when cheddar came home. Cheddar is very passive and happy to let Magic be queen bee. I wanted two cats. But if Magic had been much happier alone I'd have waited.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 01/07/2023 18:23

We've either had one, two or three in various combinations over the years.

Personally I find three to be the best combination but all of mine are incredibly laid back and we've never had any fights. We currently have three boys aged 8, 3 and 8 weeks - we lost our last female cat two months ago and there was definitely a "hole" in the dynamics.

They both seem quite taken with the newbie so far, but if either of them were cat aggressive or territorial then it would be different.

FlounderingFruitcake · 01/07/2023 18:26

Ours was actually happier without his brother. The brother was highly strung, really anxious and definitely held the other cat back. Now he’s a confident chap and even comes outside to sunbathe on the patio whereas before they were terrified of the outdoors.

AnnaMagnani · 01/07/2023 18:31

Every cat I have had that has survived it's sibling has honestly been completely delighted to be a single cat.

Unfortunately for them I have always proceeded to ruin their lives by bringing in replacement cats.

Original poster
WildFlowerBees · 01/07/2023 18:33

Ours do fight, girl cat (who can do no wrong 😬) will lie in wait for her brother then smack him on the head which then turns into a scuffle, he though will oust her from any snuggly place she finds that's new. I can't say one bullies more than the other they both have their moments but if one isn't feeling great the other stays close and grooms them.

OP posts:
HarpyValley · 01/07/2023 18:38

I’ve tended to have sister pairs and the last twice, the cat remaining after her sibling died blossomed as an only cat. None of them interacted much with each other once out of kittenhood though.

My current pair are boy/girl siblings and the only two to still cuddle up together (and play fight) as adults, so it might be a different story this time round. But I’d be so nervous of introducing another and then it not working out… 😬

amylou8 · 01/07/2023 18:44

In my experience most cats tolerate each other, rather than have any meaningful relationship. Even the ones that bond with another cat would far rather be an only cat than deal with a new cat once they are elderly.

saraclara · 01/07/2023 18:49

Sad to say, but every time we've lost one of two cats* the other one appears to have been thrilled to become an only.

  • a few times as I've owned/been part of family that owned cats for 65 years
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