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Need to just write it out. My heart is breaking. Sorry, might trigger.

28 replies

Dunkling · 05/06/2023 10:18

I was working yesterday. Late afternoon I checked my phone when I got a chance as I always do in case my daughter and her little ones need me. It turned out I had a missed call from before work, that I didn’t see or hear as I slept in and wash rushing. It was the stored vets number. For only a fraction of time I thought maybe a vaccination reminder or overdue, until I remembered it was Sunday and then I just knew. It was then I realised in my rush I hadn’t noticed Dylan had failed to appear for breakfast.

I had to ring my husband and ask him to chase things up and return the call. He was told Dylan had been brought in on Saturday night already deceased after being hit by a car, in the lane behind us. As soon as I got home I knew I had to bring him home immediately to be with me, and the vet was so accommodating and thoughtful. Sh3 said it unwise to see him, but I asked could she uncover his nose as he loved nose rubs and kisses, and a paw so I could sooth him and believe it was him.

Once home I sat for a few hours cradling him, stroking his paws and kissing his nose. Smelling and cuddling him. When I realised blood was coming through his towel and on my hands and face I knew I had to let him go. He is buried alongside my other lost pets.

Last night I didn’t sleep, and I can’t eat and feel sick. The smell of blood permeates everything. I was drawn to put the final bit of his leaving me into place by walking the lane, but it became evident almost immediately that whoever found him mixed up the name of the 2 very similar lanes, ours and the one behind, as there was a very obvious dried pool of blood alongside next doors area of road. This leaves me with mixed feelings of putting to bed the idea he was lost and panicking, to he was so close to home he was just doing his thing and got unlucky, to he was SO close to home, a change in seconds and he would be walking in the door as usual.

I got Dylan at 3 months old. A beautiful black moggy who never grew after about 5 months leaving him in permanent kitten cuteness. I used to add squirts whipped cream to his diet hoping to at least bulk him up so he could defend himself, and he became a cream addict with me his pimp. He followed me everywhere for his every waking moment. Everywhere! Always quizzical. We were so bonded. Every look from him was an adoring slow blink and I returned every one. Every bowl of food was thanked for with a scent rub across my face. Every morning was a gentle pat on my eyelids to wake me up. He stole all my make up brushes… I’m so scared of the time I know they will resurface in the future. He stole all our sink plugs. My granddaughters dummies. He played fetch. If he came in the house and I was busy, I would feel a presence and on turning he would be sat to attention behind me as if on duty, just waiting to say hello, like a weird little black stalker.

He was only one, and his whole crazy loving life has been violently extinguished just like that. No platitudes help because it is just… that.

OP posts:
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ButtonMoonMrsSpoon · 05/06/2023 10:28

Sorry to hear about your lovely Dylan. 💐

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 05/06/2023 10:30

I am so so sorry. My heart is breaking for you and your beautiful boy 💔

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 05/06/2023 10:32

So sorry for your loss op..

Lucyoflucca · 05/06/2023 10:56

I’m so sorry OP. He sounds wonderful. It won’t always hurt this much.. xx

Surely2023IsTheYearForMyRainbowBaby · 05/06/2023 11:00

I'm so sorry 😞 I had to put my little boy to sleep on Saturday due to kidney failure

savethegorgeousbees · 05/06/2023 11:50

So sorry OP ❤️

Lochjeda · 05/06/2023 11:56

I completely understand how you are feeling, this happened to us last month with our one year old cat, I promise it fors get easier, I'm so sorry. Sending lots of love and strength.

tattychicken · 05/06/2023 12:02

I hear you. We lost our beautiful 9 month girl a few weeks ago, torn apart by a greyhound who was visiting next door and broke into our garden where she was sunning herself.
I cannot forget the sounds and the smells and the look on her face as she died. They haunt me.
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend Dylan.

Dunkling · 05/06/2023 12:14

Oh tattychicken 😭

Ive always had cats as an adult. But I’ve never experienced a loss to RTA. It is so painful to lose to trauma. The suddenness. Lack of goodbye. The physical… blood, smells, the road. I want to go out with some hot soapy water but a neighbour would find me in a heap. W3 live in a semi rural single track lane with similar all around, but then there is the larger part of the village and close by town, and we get used as a f**king rat run.

OP posts:
MedievalNun · 05/06/2023 12:20

Oh I am so sorry. We lost hubby's beloved mackeral tabby to a car. She would sleep wrapped up in his arms on our bed, holding his hands in her paws, follow him
to work if he walked in & always met him by the gate in the evening, following him in and jumping on his chest. It's been 18 months and he still misses her.

It will get easier, I promise. And you are allowed to grieve. And if washing away the blood helps, do it.

@tattychicken so very sorry for your loss too, that is f..g awful.

FlatArthur · 05/06/2023 12:33

That’s awful, I’m so sorry for your loss, and others mentioned here. 💔

Fernticket · 05/06/2023 12:54

OP
So,so sorry for your loss😭😭
I have had cats run over and I know how awful it is.
To all the other posters who have lost their fur babies 💐
@tattychicken 💔💔💔💔

tattychicken · 05/06/2023 14:16

@Dunkling Have you a photo of Dylan? He sounds pretty special. Don't t worry if it's too painful though. ❤️

Tidsleytiddy · 05/06/2023 14:19

So sorry to hear of your loss OP. It’s absolutely devastating to lose a cat in that way. They are so special to us; each one with their own loving personality. Could cry for you. Be strong x

Dunkling · 05/06/2023 15:00

My little shadow. Helping me dust. Clean the oven. He would have joined us on a Devon holiday next month, his first trip, with Poppydog and Bobcat who always came. Such a waste.

Need to just write it out. My heart is breaking. Sorry, might trigger.
Need to just write it out. My heart is breaking. Sorry, might trigger.
Need to just write it out. My heart is breaking. Sorry, might trigger.
Need to just write it out. My heart is breaking. Sorry, might trigger.
Need to just write it out. My heart is breaking. Sorry, might trigger.
OP posts:
Beaucielblues · 05/06/2023 15:13

I'm in tears for you. Your beautiful little shadow will continue to shadow you all the days of your life. You have suffered a great loss and I imagine that you are completely traumatized. You have to work on putting yourself back together now. Lots and lots of spoiling yourself. He will watch over you guiding you and helping you to heal. He taught you the beauty of unconditional love and a love like that never truly dies.🐱

Swissmrs · 05/06/2023 15:14

Oh he is adorable! I'm so very sorry to hear what happened. I've lost a beloved cat to the road, too, fairly recently, and I know how awful and painful it is.

As others have said here, it does get easier with time, but in the meantime my very sincere condolences - what a sweet little cat.

tattychicken · 05/06/2023 15:14

@Dunkling He is gorgeous. I think we've all got a real sense of who he was from your words and your photos. A bit of a handful with a completely understandable rather high opinion of himself!

Yes, such a waste, an awful, tragic, unnecessary waste. 💔

PurpleChrayne · 05/06/2023 15:18

This is heartbreaking. I'm so, so sorry.

Excited101 · 05/06/2023 15:22

I’m so sorry op, your writing has brought me to tears for your beautiful boy. I’m a cat fosterer and each one of them touches your heart in different ways. Cats are just so so special. May he RIP.

miccoops · 05/06/2023 15:41

I am so sorry for your loss 😢Dylan was a beautiful soul.. We lost our very special black cat, Joe, to a RTA a few years ago and it was heartbreaking - it took us about a week to find his body. I'm thinking of you, its gets easier but you never forget them.

SquaresandStarlings · 05/06/2023 15:54

I'm so sorry OP. Dylan sounds like the most incredible cat.

Dunkling · 05/06/2023 15:59

Thank you for all your kind words everyone.

My daughter has been with cake and made a cuppa and I managed that, and my beautiful 18 mth granddaughter was a good if only slight distraction.

my DH is now away for work for 3 days, and my DD has gone home.

about the same time my other cat Bob has started reacting. He’s a bengal, so very dog like and vocal. He hated Dylan at first, but they became best buddies, rolling around in gentle play fights then licking it better. It hasn’t been long enough for him to pine his absence, but he started pacing the house, in and out, and doing his yowl. Sniffing the air and things a lot. I hope to god he didn’t see his broken body while out that night. But cuddles didn’t help, until I broke down again and had a bloody good sob, at which point he climbed onto my knee, gnuzzled me, and lay with me for a while. He’s now finally settled and sleeping on the adjacent sofa. My heart is breaking for him too.

OP posts:
Tidsleytiddy · 05/06/2023 16:15

Your Dylan is utterly gorgeous and what a bloody shame. Not fair is it. Absolutely adorable x

FlatArthur · 05/06/2023 16:27

Gorgeous little thing. 😿